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Archive for Adopting a child

How Long Does It Take to Adopt Twins?

fraternal twin babiesQuestion: My husband and I have just started researching infant adoption, and we’re hoping to adopt twins. On average, how long does it take to adopt twins through Lifetime Adoption Agency?

Answer: Adoptions with twins happen from time to time at Lifetime; we might have two to three newborn, twin adoptions out of 100 adoptions in our agency each year. So, we suggest that you remain open with your adoption preferences. If you’re only open to adopting twin babies, it’ll increase your wait time. It might even stand in the way of successfully adopting! Most of our adoptive couples wait from six to 16 months to adopt, and those couples are open to both single baby and twin adoptions.

When thinking about the average time you’ll be waiting to be chosen by a birth mother for a match, there are many factors to keep in mind. So that we can learn more about you and your adoption hopes, you can take the first step today by completing our online application. It’s free to apply and doesn’t obligate you to anything. Once you tell us your specific adoption goals, we’ll be able to share with you if you’d be successful in joining Lifetime for your adoption. Then, we can give you information about what to expect and the average wait time.

Lifetime encourages all adoptive families to sit down and talk about what truly matters versus what you feel right now would be best. The process of adopting is unique because it joins two parties together to begin a new story. We don’t want you to feel pressured into taking a particular adoption opportunity, but we also wouldn’t want hopeful adoptive parents to miss out on what could be an amazing adoption! So take some time and write down any questions. We look forward to learning more about you when you apply!

Are You Ready to Adopt? Ask Yourself These 10 Questions

are you ready to adopt? here are 10 questions to ask!Are you truly ready to adopt? Before you contact any adoption professionals, really think about what your deepest wishes are for your family and for the child you hope to adopt.

Honesty is important because it’s your adoption professional’s task to understand your motivations so that they can effectively help you from the start. Your professional will then narrow down the preferences and relevant adoption situations and help you plan your adoption.

How do you know if you’re really ready to adopt a baby?

Here are 10 simple questions to ask yourself:

1. Why do you want to adopt?

2. How serious are you about adoption right now?

3. What is your ideal adoption situation?

4. Does your spouse want to adopt too?

5. Have you thought about how becoming a parent will change your life and are you willing to accept this responsibility?

6. Are you financially, socially and emotionally ready to adopt?

7. Will you love a child who comes into your family through adoption as much as you would a biological child?

8. If your child’s birth mother asked for photos, letters, and updates, would you honor her request?

9. Do you think you’d be a good parent, and why? If the answer is “no,” are you open to seeking assistance?

10. Do you and your spouse have the patience and time that’s needed to care for a child?

Don’t be offended when an adoption professional asks you investigative questions about your reasons for seeking adoption. They’re not trying to be nosey; they’re trying to help you find the best situation with as little time and stress as possible.

Plenty of preparation needs to be done for an adoption to be a success, and thoroughly understanding your needs is a large part of that. So, let your adoption professional help you, and you’ll be on your way to creating the family you have been dreaming of for a lifetime!

How to Research Adoption Benefits

learn how you can afford to adopt a baby!The #1 reason couples aren’t able to adopt is that they can’t afford it. The reality is, there are tons of adoption benefits out there, you just need to know where to look! Today, we’re sharing how to get access to the adoption benefits your employer, insurance, or church offers.

If you’re on a budget, you might be surprised at the cost of domestic infant adoption. The good news is that there are many adoption loans and financing alternatives that you can take advantage of. It IS possible for you to afford to adopt a baby!

Below, we share how you can research any adoption benefits that are available through organizations you’re affiliated with, like your employer, insurance, or church.

Adoption Benefits Through Your Insurance Provider

Asking your insurance provider about your adoption might seem strange to you. But, an insurance organization called MediShare grants its members $4,600 to use on an adoption!

Hopeful adoptive couples are supported by MediShare; the company helps to defray their adoption fees. Members of MediShare can share in adoption costs up to $4,600 per adoption. For two separate adoptions, the max amount goes up to $9,200. You can learn more at MyChristianCare.org.

Adoption Benefits Through Your Employer

Nowadays, more and more companies are offering their employees a reimbursement to help out with adoption costs, as well as paid leave. To find out whether your employer allows adoption benefits, just ask your Human Resource Department.

If you find that they don’t provide adoption benefits, you might help them start such a program by contacting the Dave Thomas Foundation. This non-profit offers information to employers through their Adoption-Friendly Workplace program. This program’s purpose is to make adoption affordable for every hopeful adoptive parent who’s employed. For details, visit AdoptionFriendlyWorkplace.org or give them a call at 1-800-275-3832.

Adoption Benefits for Members of the Military

If you’re a member of the military, you have adoption financing resources that aren’t available anywhere else. Active-duty military couples qualify for up to $2,000 per child in adoption benefits. The benefit increases to $5,000 if you’re adopting a sibling group. Get the details at MilitaryFamily.org.

Adoption Q&A: When Can We Name Our Baby?

when can we name our baby?Question: “When can we name our baby?”

Answer: Anytime really! You and your spouse can begin discussing it before you’re matched with a birth mother. You can talk about it during the match with your birth mother. Sometimes, the birth mother will already know or have an idea what she’d like to name her baby. So then you’d already have an idea of what she’s thinking about and if the name is important to her.

Some of the most beautiful adoption stories we’ve heard have been about the name. In these stories, the adoptive family has kept the desires of their child’s birth mother in mind, which definitely built and strengthened their open adoption relationship! Birth mothers have shared with Lifetime how touching it was to them when the family wanted to include her first name or middle name within the child’s name. It’s a way of honoring her and solidifying that commitment between the adoptive parents and the birth parents. It creates such a bond, and a beautiful story.

If you strongly dislike the name that the birth mother chose, you need to find out why it’s important to her. Listen as she tells you why this name is important. Have grace and give it some prayer. We encourage families to think about what’s really important. The name a child has doesn’t define who they are before they’re born. Don’t let the adoption fall apart just because of the name. Usually, there are compromises and ways to work around the name. If there isn’t, let your Adoption Coordinator know. She’ll try to work things out on your behalf.

While our office is closed today, Monday, September 4 for Labor Day, our 24-hour adoption line will be OPEN and AVAILABLE with Lifetime Staff to speak with birth mothers as well as any matched adoptive parents who may need to reach us urgently. That number is 1-800-923-6784.

Please keep your cell phone with you and on. Lifetime traditionally receives calls about urgent situations when other adoption professionals are not available because they are off enjoying the long weekend. If we need to reach you, we want to be sure that we can!

“How Much Did You Pay for Her?”

what to say if someone asks "how much did you pay for her?"When you’ve adopted, you may face rude questions from people. One of these is “how much did you pay for her/him?” Here are some things to keep in mind if you’re ever asked a similar question:

Adoptive parents don’t pay for a baby. They pay to have work done so that they can adopt a baby. Fees that are charged an adopting couple are used to support the work of the agency.

Adoption involves the time and efforts of numerous peo­ple who give service to biological parents, would-be adoptive parents, and babies. Each step of the proce­dure involves the work of highly trained professionals.

Also, agencies and attorneys must keep up to date on the laws and regulations con­cerning adoptions. They must pay rent or mortgage for their facility as well as costs involved with keeping up that facility.

The fee that adoptive parents pay when they receive a baby pays bills incurred by the agency as well as sala­ries of caseworkers, secretaries, the director, and oth­ers. Some states have individually set limits on the amount that an agency can charge for its services, thus keeping the possibility of adoption within the financial reach of most Americans.

In the case of a private adoption, the law in most states requires that the adopting parents pay only for the prenatal care, for the physician’s services, and for the hospital bill. This is meant to defray the medical costs incurred by the woman giving birth.

Creating a Multi-Cultural Family Through Adoption

a multi-cultural family through adoption!You’ve waited so long for this adoption to happen. You hope that you can bring joy, support, lots of love, and a life full of great experiences to a child. You started the adoption process with the knowledge that you just wanted a child to share life with, regardless of race.

In reality, adopting a child of another ethnicity isn’t as simple as that. It takes lots of education, awareness, and sensitivity.

Your child’s cultural awareness should be a priority in your lives, no matter if your child is a newborn or eight years old. Some find it uncomfortable to explain racial issues to a curious child. But, remember that your child won’t always be a child, and they’ll be judged, unfortunately, based on their race at some point in their lives. As the parent, you need to know this and make a conscious effort to talk about it in your household.

Make sure to bring your child’s culture into your home, their toys, and their lives. For example, buy your daughter dolls in her race, and tell her how beautiful those dolls are. It’s necessary to take your child to cultural events where they can learn about their heritage and read them about their culture.

As your child grows up, their awareness of their ethnicity will become clearer. As their parent, it’s your job to help them to acknowledge this. Help them to learn that their success shouldn’t be based on their race, but that it’s a factor in how they’re seen by others.

Isolating your child in an environment without any “color” could be damaging to their self-identity and growth. Since your family is multicultural, your child’s school and home life should reflect that. You can give your child a wonderful upbringing by teaching them how to connect with people of any race while still being proud of who they are!

Learn More About Domestic Adoption Through Free Online Webinars

did you know that you can learn about domestic adoption through free, online webinars?Each year, prospective adoptive families across the US make the life-changing and exciting decision to adopt a child. Yet, many people think an international adoption will happen more quickly and easily than a domestic adoption. That’s just due to a popular myth that says it will be difficult to adopt a baby in the United States.

Lifetime Adoption has been providing adoption services to adoptive parents and birth parents since 1986. We also educate about modern adoption and open adoption, so that light can be shed on adoption myths. Our free online webinars can be accessed by anyone who’s interested.

Our free, online adoption webinars provide information on the adoption process, what open adoption looks like, and gives adoption tips. Head over to AdoptionWebinar.com to start watching and listening to this FREE adoption resource! Each of our webinars feature expert answers and insights from people recently touched by adoption.

Lifetime focuses on each part of the “adoption triad”-the adoptee, birth mother, and adoptive parents. We assist women thinking about adoption for their baby with finding medical care, supportive counseling, and financial help. Prospective adoptive parents are guided through the open adoption process, which includes the home study, legal process, and creating their own adoption profile to present to birth mothers. We also help adoptive couples discover how to afford adoption, through adoption financing, adoption loans, adoption grants, and fundraising.

Subscribe to our free online adoption webinars at AdoptionWebinar.com today, so you can learn the important details you’ll need to know as you travel the path to adoption! When you subscribe, you’ll get exclusive access to webinar replays AND to invites to new LIVE webinars directly to your email.

Adoption Webinar on the Pressure to be the Perfect Adoptive Parent

Adoption webinar on the pressure to be the perfect adoptive parentJoin us next week for a special adoption webinar with our Founder Mardie Caldwell. She’ll discuss adoptive parenting in a LIVE webinar next Monday night!

Everyone is invited to this free webinar, no matter what stage you’re at in your adoption journey. You’ll find this webinar valuable if you’re just starting to think about adoption, are waiting to adopt, or are a new parent through adoption! We’ll start 7:00 pm Eastern time on Monday, July 10th.

After couples bring home their baby through adoption, brand-new adoptive parents face a variety of emotions as they adapt to life with a baby or new child. On top of this is a new relationship with their child’s birth mother. Many adoptive parents share that they feel relieved during this time, but others feel a sort of let-down.

For many adoptive moms, they feel intense pressure to be the perfect parent who knows all and has everything in her control. In Monday’s webinar, we’ll get an insider’s look “beyond the blessing” from author and adoptive mom Mardie Caldwell. Mardie is going to share secrets and stories from her first days as a new adoptive mom.

In this webinar, Mardie will speak about:

  • Post-adoption depression
  • Keeping the promises made to your child’s birth mother
  • Bonding with your new child during this emotional time
  • and more!

SIGN UP USING THIS LINK! We suggest you set a reminder for yourself so you don’t miss this important event.

We’ll start the webinar at 7:00 pm Eastern time (that’s 6:00 Central time, 5:00 Mountain time, and 4:00 pm Pacific time). Meet up with us for time well spent learning all you can on what you may experience as a new adoptive parent!

Sign up using this link or by visiting AdoptionWebinar.com. Once you register, you’ll be emailed instructions on how to tune into the live broadcast.

We hope you can make it! If you have questions about how to join this webinar, just call Lifetime at 1-800-923-6784.

Can a Single Woman Adopt a Baby?

can a single woman adopt a baby?Question: “I’ve always dreamt of the day when I’d become a mommy! The problem is, I’ve just never met ‘Mr. Right.’ Is it possible for a single woman to adopt?”

Answer: Yes, definitely! However, you may need to show that you have family who can be an active part of your child’s life. And, you’ll need to have plans for childcare. It’s important that you think of questions that will be asked of you during your home study interview and often by the birth parents themselves. You can find out more about the adoption home study here: AdoptionAgencyFlorida.com/home-studies.

Single parents may not be chosen by a birth mother as quickly as a married couple. We want to be sure (as do most birth mothers) that their child will get all the resources and attention that they would receive in a two-parent home.

It’s wise to search for support groups and others in similar situations for information and advice that can help you become a parent. As a single adoptive mother, it is important that you work with an adoption professional who has successfully worked with other single parents. At Lifetime Adoption Agency Florida, we’ve helped many single women adopt.

If you truly feel in your heart that you can provide a child with a well-balanced life, the devoted attention needed for a growing child, and the influence of both male and female friends and family, then you should pursue adoption. You might want to consider taking a parenting class if this is not offered with your home study. Lisa, a single adoptive mother, shared that it helped her chances of adopting when she took parenting classes and CPR. This was an important factor to her birth mother, and she was chosen over married couples who hadn’t taken these types of classes. She shared with us, “Taking these classes shows a birth parent that you are serious about adoption and that you have taken the time to learn how to parent. It shows her you’re ready for the challenge of motherhood.”

Are you a single woman dreaming of becoming a mother?

Let Lifetime Adoption Agency Florida help you! Contact us today by calling 1-800-923-6784.

What NOT to Say to Adoptive Families

how to handle rude adoption remarks and questionsWhen people ask rude questions and make remarks to adoptive families, they may be oblivious as to how they’re coming off. Maybe, they are just uninformed about how open adoption looks today. But that doesn’t mean their comments don’t sting. Today, we’re sharing witty answers to a few of the most shocking questions that adoptive families face:

“How could his ‘real parents’ give him up?”

For most birth parents, the reasons why they chose adoption are complex, from extreme poverty to a personal tragedy. And even if we know why our child’s birth family decided on adoption, we’re not going to just share with any random stranger out there. It’s a private and personal story, between my child’s birth family and my child. AND, my child has two sets of “real parents.” Calling their birth parents “real parents” implies that we’re something less.

“How much did she cost?”
The fact is, no baby joins a family for free. Just think about those big hospital bills! When we adopted, we also paid for services provided, except our “midwives” were adoption professionals, social workers, and adoption attorneys. So that was where all those adoption fees were for: for services provided, not for our baby.

“I’m sorry you weren’t able to have one ‘of your own’.”
Saying this assumes that adoption is a last-resort means of creating a family. This definitely isn’t the case! Our child is as much “our own” as any biological child.

Have you ever gotten a rude question like this? If so, how did you handle it? Share with our audience by leaving a comment below, please!