After I got a positive pregnancy test, my mom and ex-boyfriend (who by the way wasn’t the baby’s father) told me I should put my baby up for adoption. I was completely stressed out but thought about adoption for a few months. Sooner or later, I came to accept the decision of adoption. Here’s why I put my baby up for adoption: if the biological dad was to be a part of my son’s life, he would have been exposed to drugs, guns, and other dangers, and I just couldn’t see putting my baby through all that.
At the time, my ex-boyfriend and I already were taking care of our five-year-old daughter. She asked me several times why we couldn’t keep the baby. I explained things to her in a way she’d understand, and was very open with her. She agreed, and I told her that open adoption meant we’d be in touch with his family, and we’d get to see him once in awhile.
At first, I was really upset at my ex-boyfriend and my mom for telling me I couldn’t keep my baby. But once I came to the same decision, I knew where they were coming from. My adoption coordinator never once judged me. She presented all my choices to me, and lots of resources. Adoption Agency Florida also gave me free counseling, and connected me with a woman who’d done adoption years ago for her daughter.
She also sent me about 20 adoptive family profiles that matched what I was looking for: a young Christian couple who already had kids. I wanted my son to grow up with siblings like I did, and be brought up in the Christian way. My daughter also looked through the profiles, and we chose the same couple! They were exactly what I was looking for!
When it was time for the adoptive couple to take the baby back to their hotel room, all of us were just crying. I knew this would be the most difficult thing I would ever do in life, but I also felt I owed it to my baby, my daughter, and myself. Sitting in my hospital bed, I lifted up my baby and said to the couple, “I don’t think I need to tell you to love her.”
I don’t regret my decision at all because I can’t give my son the life he deserves. It wasn’t his fault he was conceived, so why should he pay the price?
