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Archive for the adoption wait

Waiting to Adopt? Get Our Holiday Survival Tips

get Lifetime's tips for surviving the holidays while you're waiting to adopt!If you’re in the midst of your adoption wait, the holidays can become a time of added pressure and disappointment. People close to you may mean well but ask questions or make remarks that seem insensitive.

If you’re hopeful adoptive parents waiting for a child, you might be wondering “How are we going to get through the holidays?” Today, Lifetime is sharing 5 tips on how to survive the holidays while in the adoption wait!

1. Talk About It
Trying to hold your emotions inside will only make you feel worse. So, think about talking to a close family member, friend, counselor, or your pastor about what you’re going through. It may be that simply talking about it will raise your spirits so that you can enjoy the holiday festivities.

2. Be Honest
You might be feeling guilty that you’re not happy when everyone around you seems to be in the holiday spirit. You see that people around you are cheerfully celebrating. If you’re feeling down, don’t try to suppress your emotions. Grant yourself permission to cry and be sad. It might help to jot your feelings down in a journal. Decline invites to holiday parties and dinners you’re not up to attending.

3. Do Something for Yourself
Practice some self-care if you’re feeling unhappy during the holidays. This could be a nice long massage, a weekly yoga class, or treating yourself to that pretty dress you’ve been admiring. By doing something for yourself, relaxing, and unwinding, you’ll be better able to handle the hectic holiday season. Everyone deserves a break to re-group every now and then.

4. Help Those in Need
Often, giving back can lift your spirits. There are so many ways to do this, so pick something that feels right to you. You could volunteer at a homeless shelter, donate toys or gifts to a family in need, or even just do something thoughtful for a friend, co-worker, or family member. Helping those in need will give you an amazing feeling!

5. Get Involved
When you’re feeling blue, getting involved in a project or activity may help. “When we were in the adoption wait, I put a fresh coat of paint and got new furniture for our guest bedroom. Doing all this allowed me something to think about other than how sad I felt. And, it paid off! My mom ended up staying in this guest room and helping me out during the very first days home with our newborn son,” shares one Lifetime adoptive mom. Getting involved doesn’t have to mean undertaking such a big project, though. It may be an activity as simple as baking, scrapbooking, knitting, organizing a closet, or making homemade gifts.

Remember, this too shall pass, no matter how you choose to get through the holiday season while you’re waiting to adopt. And you’ll be parents before you know it!

Coping With Your Adoption Wait

Coping with an adoption waitThere’s a lot of waiting involved in the infant adoption process. First, there’s waiting for your home study to be completed, then there’s the waiting for a birth mother to choose to match with you. The adoption wait can seem extra tough, especially when it’s for something you so long for: to be parents.

There may be days when the phone rings and you think ‘could that be the call we’ve been waiting for?’ Then, it’s disappointing when it turns out this isn’t your adoption agency calling that a birth mother is interested in speaking with you. The important thing is that that you keep on going, and praying for that much-anticipated call to come soon.

During your adoption wait, your profile will be looked at by many birth mothers. You’ll probably end up speaking to several of them before being matched. This fact can be both a blessing and distressing.

You may get your hopes up once you’re aware that your profile is getting viewed, so your excitement grows because you feel that your chances of being chosen for a match will come soon. But then what if you still don’t get chosen?

You begin to doubt yourself, your profile, and that you’re able to show birth mother mothers you’ll be excellent parents. When you don’t get picked, it can lower your self-esteem and you can get down on yourself.

Don’t go there! Remember, God made you and that is good enough. There will be ups and downs on your adoption journey, but it will come to an end. You will adopt a baby if you stick with it.

So, what can you do to get through your waiting time? Are there actions you can take to make the wait easier to cope with? The good news is that yes, there are definitely things you can do in order to stay productive during your wait! Check out Lifetime Adoption Agency Florida’s ideas on how to cope with your adoption wait:

Waiting to Adopt? 5 Ways to Stay Encouraged

Letting God Help You During Your Adoption Wait

What to Do During Your Adoption Wait this Winter

Struggling With Your Adoption Wait? Read This!

3 Great Ways to Stay Organized During the Adoption Process

learn how you can stay organized during your adoption processIt’s rare to find someone among us who doesn’t feel the need to become more organized. And, if you’re an organizational freak, you probably like to read about others’ organizational systems. Whether you love to create to-do lists or would rather embrace the chaos, your adoption process will be so much easier if you can keep track. All of the items involved with infant adoption can get overwhelming if you don’t have some method of organization.

Here are 3 great ways to keep organized during your adoption journey:

1. Make a spreadsheet
Using Excel (Microsoft) or Numbers (Apple), create a spreadsheet and use it to keep track of things like your home study to-do’s or adoption budget.  

You could also build a task list of items you’d like to do during your adoption wait. It may be for fun activities like traveling or constructive tasks such as finishing repairs around the house or getting your future baby’s nursery ready.
 
2. Buy a binder, folder, or similar organizer
Organize all of the forms, copies, papers you’ve signed in a binder, folder, or another type of organizer such as an expanding file. You might even choose to color-code your binder with tabs for categories like completed, copies, and to-do.
 
Folders are beneficial for storing info on your adoption expenses in one place. You’ll be thankful you were so organized when tax time comes around, and you’d like to take advantage of the adoption tax credit.
 
3. Grab your phone or tablet and use a free list app
Nowadays, there are so many list apps that you can download for free onto your iPhone, Droid phone, computer, and tablet. The app that you choose will sync to all of your devices. That way, you can access your notes and lists anytime, anywhere. Three free list apps include Todoist, Any.do, and Wunderlist.

5 Tips for Staying Positive During the Holidays

happy-during-holidaysMany hopeful adoptive couples find that the wait to be chosen by birth mother gets tedious, and even more so during the holiday season. To keep yourself and your spouse motivated during your adoption wait, we’re sharing 5 tips with you today:
 
1. Find with Other Waiting Parents

Establishing a connection with other waiting adoptive parents will give you support during your adoption wait. You can find other waiting couples online or in person, in adoption support groups. There are tons of groups around the US which are aimed at supporting parents in their adoption journey. Search for a group close to you or online. Then, begin talking with people who can empathize with what you are going through right now.

2. Discuss the Adoption Process

Find others you’re close to and with whom you’re comfortable discussing your adoption journey. You may feel that your family and close friends are sick of hearing about your adoption, but most likely they aren’t. If your friends are true friends, they’ll listen and continue to support you. If you’d rather not keep talking with the same friends about your adoption, we suggest that you find a group of adoptive mothers or an adoption support group.
 

3. Make a Progress Chart

It’s beneficial for you to be able to see your progress on a chart. Just make yourself a chart of all the steps needed to achieve your goal of adopting. As you finish each step, you’ll be able to see tangible proof that you’re moving toward your goal. You may feel silly doing this but remember: before you know it, you’ll be holding your beautiful baby in your arms.
 
4. Treat Yourselves

As you complete each of your steps on your progress chart, reward yourself and your spouse. Maybe your reward will be going to go out to a romantic dinner at the new hot spot in town. Or, maybe you’ll get that dress you’ve been eyeing for a while. It really doesn’t matter what you pick as your reward; the main idea is to find rewards that’ll keep you motivated.
 
5. Have Fun

Many find it difficult to have fun when they’re aching so badly to be parents. You’ll need to have a sense of humor when you become a parent, so now is a good time to start! Appreciate this time you have, waiting and anticipating the new addition to your family. Before you know it, you’ll be parenting the baby of your dreams!

Struggling With Your Adoption Wait? Read This!

Jessica, her husband, and son after their adoption waitToday, we wanted to share the story of an adoptive couple’s adoption journey. They struggled with their adoption wait, and now hope to provide encouragement to others. Here are their heartfelt words to you:

“I wanted to share a bit about our adoption journey. Our son was born the Friday before Thanksgiving last year, and we were able to get our adoption cleared in time to fly home for Thanksgiving.

When we initially contracted with Lifetime, we were not open to visits. One year into our contract we opened up our preferences to allow for visits. Today, I wish our birth mom were my next-door neighbor and her family lived very close as well. We are a two-hour plane ride apart. I wish we lived so much closer. When my husband and I initially contracted with Lifetime we were both 26. I was a pharmacist and he worked in business. We checked all of the stereotypical boxes of young, successful, no other kids, etc. But despite all this, we didn’t have a placement, or even an interested birth mother, within the 6-to-18-month time-frame we were hoping for.

I fixated on that time-frame, and Linda can attest that part was very hard for me. We found out our birth mom was interested in speaking to us when she was roughly 16 weeks along and we had been contracted for 19 months.

We were able to visit her and her family twice prior to our son’s birth. We were there for the 20-week ultrasound revealing his gender. His birth was a scheduled C-section so I was able to fly out earlier in the week to spend lots of time with her prior and my husband flew out the day before to also spend quality time.

Aside from a few hiccups with hospital staff, it all went quite well. We spent a bunch of time in her room in the hospital chatting, joking and hanging out. She didn’t want to meet or see her son in person while in the hospital. She and I exchanged a lot of “I love you’s” in the operating room and right after she signed her rights to us.

We’ve maintained contact since his birth as well. We finalized in May and while it was possible to remotely finalize we actually flew down so we could spend a few days with her and her family. We are flying out Thursday to spend a long weekend with her and her family.

I truly struggled with the adoption wait. Your adoption webinars were very helpful to me. I listened to many multiple times on my commute to and from work. I know there are many others out there who struggle waiting to meet their baby. My hope is that by sharing our story, it’ll give them a small piece of hope.

While our situation is unique, as all are, we waited a long time and now have a very open adoption. I’d hope that sharing our story might let others know that others have been down the very rough path they have been down. Also, we are a living testament to the fact that sometimes you don’t initially know what is best for you. God clearly had a much different plan for us than what we had thought we wanted.”
-Jessica, an adoptive mom from Indiana

Did you enjoy Jessica’s story?
You can hear others’ adoption stories through our webinars! Just click the button below:

webinars

What to Do During Your Adoption Wait this Winter

When you’re hoping to be matched with a birth mother, the adoption wait can be made more difficult when you’re stuck inside during the winter months.

Learn what you can be doing towards your adoption during these cold and stormy winter months. In this video, the Founder of Lifetime Adoption Mardie Caldwell shares some useful tips that will improve your adoption journey and help you adopt more quickly:

 

If you have questions about the adoption tips shared in the video (or about adoption in general), please give us a call at (727) 493-0933 or email us.