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Archive for Adoption story

“I Praise God for Women Who Choose Adoption”

This guest post was written by a Lifetime adoptive mother who adopted a baby girl last year, along with her husband.
 
"I praise God for women who choose adoption" shares an adoptive mother“It’s National Adoption Month. I’ve had a lot on my mind. And I’ve tried to do my due diligence at reading/listening to all members of the domestic private adoption triad. Here’s what I’ve learned…
 
The adoptee doesn’t want to be told to be thankful. She lives with a label she can’t hide from and a shadow of what the unknown could have been like.
 
Birth mom doesn’t want to be told what a selfless and sacrificial decision she made. She may live with guilt and grief, and despise the adoptive parents because she feels like a doormat. Only getting contact to check off the box of what they owe her…
 
We haven’t heard from our birth mom since our daughter was six weeks old. I can’t help but wonder how she is. I send her a lengthy email every two months, update pictures in a Google share folder, and send text pictures randomly. No response. I gave her permission to tell me to be more frequent, or less frequent – but no response. I miss her. I care about her. I wish I knew how to help her.
 
Adoptive mother and newborn adopteeOur daughter is great! She loves her family, and we love her. This is a journey, and in 10 years there will be much more to say about how she is – how she has come to accept her heritage. My prayer for her is that adoption would not define her, that she wouldn’t let it be her sole identity. But rather, through this experience she would become an advocate for families. An advocate for children.
 
My husband is a pastor. We work with a lot of children and adolescents. There are so many difficult situations our kids are dealing with – living in. Step parents are cruel, moms are in jail, dads and boyfriends are abusive, and children beg for food, I could go on. This is really difficult to say without sounding judgmental, or proud – so please hear this carefully. 18 years is a long time for a child to live in turmoil. When I think about our daughter’s birth family, the writing on the wall tells me she would have been living among unstable and non-committal relationships. Her birth mom found herself in a very sticky situation, bless her heart. I have full forgiveness and mercy for her. And for our daughter’s sake, I’m so thankful she chose adoption. I’m not sure what her motives were. Whether she realizes it or not, she saved our daughter from a slew of messy and quite possibly abusive relationships. She gave her stability and full acceptance. She’s no longer an accident, a mistake, an ex-girlfriend’s other child, a half-sister, or a girlfriend’s daughter. This is an identity she does not have to live with! And I am so THANKFUL for her sake. She is a daughter, a sister. No strings attached.
 
This is also difficult to say, because I don’t want to exclude single adoptive moms – or cast judgement on single parents. I simply want to say, that on top of what I’ve already said about the gift our daughter’s birth mom gave her, she gave her a DAD. Had she stayed with her birth family, in 15 years she may have been saying to her pastor, like many have said to us in tears, ‘I don’t have a dad.’ They call mom’s boyfriend dad, but he’s not their dad and next month he could be gone. Their siblings’ dad babysits them, but he’s not their dad, and everyone knows it. Our daughter has a dad, and he’s not going anywhere.
 
The gospel has incredible healing power. And I believe God changes lives. I would 100% support a single woman with an unplanned pregnancy who wanted to parent, because I believe God can turn our mess into something beautiful. He is the God of restoration. But the road isn’t easy. Quoting the title of an excellent book, the Christian life is “a long obedience in the same direction.” Although this next part grieves me, I’ve also learned to accept that not every birth mom is ready for the long obedience that will transform her mess into a beautiful story. And so I praise God for those birth moms who choose adoption. And I also praise God for bringing the gospel to me, for cleaning up my own mess and equipping me to be a part of someone else’s story – my daughter’s story. It’s an overwhelming privilege. I pray I am faithful to the task.”

 

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Take the first step today by filling out
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Hear an Adoption Story That Was Meant-to-Be

Hear Silas and Dawn's adoption storyIf you’re waiting to adopt, you might find that you go through seasons of discouragement, and wonder if you’re still on the right track with your adoption. But ask any experienced adoptive parent and they’ll share that once they adopted, it just seems meant to be. The timing, the baby, the events that brought their adoption together…all of it meant to be.
 
Silas and Dawn, a Lifetime adoptive couple, are no exception. They had to pinch themselves that their calling to adopt was leading them to their baby boy, even up until the moment they were traveling to meet him. Silas and Dawn’s anxiety was for nothing since each detail of their son’s adoption story keeps showing them it was meant to be!

This adoptive couple just appeared on a Lifetime webinar and shared the story of how they became a family of five through adoption. Silas and Dawn’s adoption webinar also included an encouraging perspective through the wait, adoption travel tips, how to use social media when a birth mother wants a limited connection, and info about their experience with Lifetime. Silas and Dawn’s story will touch anyone hoping to adopt!

You can watch the webinar replay of Silas and Dawn’s meant-to-be open adoption story online today! Just visit AdoptionWebinar.com to watch “Meant to Be: Silas and Dawn’s Adoption Story.”

Here at Lifetime, we get to see a lot of “meant-to-be” adoption experiences like Silas and Dawn’s! While you’re waiting to be chosen by a birth mother, it can help to hear from others who recently walked where you are today.

Please call Lifetime at 1-800-923-6784 if we can help you or someone you care about get started on the path towards adoption.

Join Us Next Week for Silas and Dawn’s Adoption Story!

Adoption stories are some of the greatest, and most encouraging, resources for anyone hoping to adopt. The testimonies from people who have recently walked through the process to adopt provide helpful answers and tips. Adoption seems less complicated and overwhelming when you can hear from others who were once where you are today.

Hear Silas and Dawn's adoption storyJoin us for Silas and Dawn’s adoption story next Tuesday! You can sign up for this webinar using this link. We’re starting the New Year off with a sweet reminder that it only takes one birth mother to start a story that looks meant to be in hindsight.

The webinar will be held on Tuesday, January 23rd, at:
3:00 pm Pacific Time
4:00 pm Mountain Time
5:00 pm Central Time
6:00 pm Eastern Time

To secure your spot in next Tuesday’s webinar, just click on the following link: Register.GoToWebinar.com.

You can watch this adoption webinar online, over the phone, or by using the GoToWebinar app on your cell phone.

After you sign up for the webinar, we’ll email you instructions on how you can join in live. You’ll benefit from Silas and Dawn’s adoption story, no matter what stage you’re at in your adoption journey!

Why Is It Important to Write a Letter to Your Child?

In choosing to make an adoption plan for your child, you’ve definitely given them a lifelong gift. Writing your child a letter, where you share your feelings of love and hope, will become a beautiful and cherished gift only you can provide. Today, we’re going to share with you how you can write this letter.
 
Many birth parents say, “I feel like my child is going to hate me for placing them up for adoption!” So that you can release your child into the adoptive parent’s home with trust, faith, and love, think about writing a special letter directly to your child. It can help you at this time of difficult emotions and show your true loving feelings for her child.
 
Begin your letter by telling your child what your hopes are for their lives. This may be one of the main reasons you chose adoption. Write about how picky you were in choosing the adoptive family. This letter is a good place to explain to them that you didn’t make an adoption plan because you didn’t care about them. In fact, it’s just the opposite: you did adoption because you care so much that you wanted to give them more than you were able to.
 
Make sure to get copies of this letter for your memory books or box. Rereading these loving words you’ve written down can help you when you feel grief and heartache.
 
You can ask the adoptive parents to give this letter to your child at a specific time. Or, maybe you’d rather they pick a time they feel is best. Your letter will be a treasure for your child for many years to come: it’s your hope and love fully expressed.
 
Some birth mothers feel like they can’t write a letter like this. It’s hard to put words to what you feel in your heart. We encourage you to avoid letting your words and feelings to be unwritten. The stories and pictures the adoptive parents provide your child will pale in comparison to the genuine words you share, telling about your adoption decision.
 
Writing a letter that shares your hope is a beautiful way to leave a legacy for your child!

My Adoption Story as a Closed Adoption Adoptee

We had a chance to sit down with Lifetime Adoption Agency’s Adoptive Family Coordinator Natalie LaBelle recently. She was adopted at birth and grew up with a closed adoption plan. Today, she has both her adoptive family and birth family in her life. As an adoptee, she’s able to empathize with the many emotions that may come up for adoptive families, their adopted children, and also birth parents. “Nothing is more exciting than helping a match take place and witnessing prayers being answered!” she says. Natalie told us her adoption story and thoughts about open adoption with us, and we’d love to share them with you here:

“I grew up in a loving adoptive family, with a closed adoption, never having any contact with my birth mom or biological family nor knowing any of my medical history. Now, however, as an adult, I have had an adoption reunion meeting with almost all of my birth mom’s side. I truly have the best of both worlds.

I personally feel that open adoption is a major blessing to the child and the birth mom both equally, but for different reasons. I feel it is an emotionally healthy way for the child growing up to have some sense of where he/she came from, their origins, a picture or two to see who they look like, why they were adopted, and for medical history. Most of these questions for an adoptee are answered through open adoption for the most part. I think it may ease the loss and grief for the birth mom, which is emotionally healthier for her also. In my case, as a closed adoption adoptee, I had a constant wondering and not knowing that stayed with me every day and even on the best of days until I reconnected with my birth mom in 2013.

When my birth mother tried to contact me earlier in life, I ignored her because I didn’t want to hurt my parent’s feelings. But once I started communicating with my birth mom, as an adult, those questions disappeared. I stopped wondering about knowing who I was, wondering why or what happened, even though I had an amazing and loving adoptive family, the wondering was always there.

I always had to say ‘I don’t know’ to every single question about my medical history, which made me feel ‘less than’ because of the unintentional looks from the medical staff and this happened many times growing up and well into adulthood. These are small things to the average person but leaves an adoptee feeling different than everyone else when they already may feel different from their own family. It wasn’t until my thirties when I needed to know my medical history that I became open to meeting my biological family. But yet again, I didn’t respond, mostly out of denial or fear of hurting my adoptive family. Now, I’ve formed a close, loving relationship with my birth mom, brother and sister, and so I have a connection to my biology, and also to my adoptive family. I now feel complete and absolutely blessed to have two wonderful families who love me, as it was God’s plan all along to give a child this much love!”