Are you having a difficult time during the adoption wait? Maintaining a positive attitude makes even the most challenging times easier to experience. Being positive doesn’t mean pretending that you have a perfect life, but rather about seeing the good in life and shifting how you perceive this time.
Research has shown that positive thinking can lead to success. Being positive isn’t a switch that can be turned on: like any skill it requires practice. Maintaining a positive attitude is crucial if you want to adopt.
Here are 8 ways you can boost your positivity:
- Think good thoughts. Negative thoughts can happen when you’re waiting to be chosen by a birth mother. When you experience one, take a moment to catch yourself. Identify the problem or emotion you’re feeling, then counter it with a positive thought.
- Be grateful. Spend time each day reminding yourself of everything good in your life. Write them down or share them with a loved one. For accountability, you might try doing a “30 Day Gratitude Challenge” with your spouse.
- Smile! Research has shown that smiles are contagious. Smile at a stranger, a co-worker, or a friend. They’ll smile back, leaving you both feeling more positive.
- Stay active. Exercise makes you feel better physically and mentally. Several times a week go for a walk, work on a project around the house, hit the gym, or play your favorite sport.
- Set goals. Having a goal can make you feel more hopeful and confident and give you something to strive for. Make your goal realistic and specific, and use positive words when writing or talking about it. For example, you might set a goal to have your adoption video recorded and edited within two weeks or to submit your home study paperwork within a week.
- Keep good company. The people you spend time with have a direct impact on how you feel. Seek out people who believe in you and your adoption dream. Spend time with family members, friends, co-workers, or acquaintances who think positive and inspire and motivate you to achieve your goals.
- Do things you love. Make time in your day to do something that makes you happy. Listen to music, read a book, catch up with a friend, or step outside and enjoy nature.
- Write in a journal. Jot down all the positive things that happen to you each day. Your journal entries can be just a few words or sentences. Pick a day each month to read through your journal and relive your positive experiences.
There are many sides to the adoption journey when you’re eagerly waiting to be chosen by a birth mother. Many adoptive couples go through the process joyfully, trying to be as patient and proactive as possible. Others struggle with feelings of jealousy and frustration, asking themselves, “Why did they adopt, but not us?”
If you’re in the midst of your adoption wait, the holidays can become a time of added pressure and disappointment. People close to you may mean well but ask questions or make remarks that seem insensitive.
If you’re struggling with the adoption wait, know that it’s just a matter of time before a birth mother chooses you. During your adoption wait, you have time to learn what you can to get ready for parenthood. You’ll learn how the adoption process works and positive adoption language. You’ll consult with experts in the adoption field. Know that there will be good days and others filled with doubt and worry.
There’s a lot of waiting involved in the infant adoption process. First, there’s waiting for your home study to be completed, then there’s the waiting for a birth mother to choose to match with you. The adoption wait can seem extra tough, especially when it’s for something you so long for: to be parents.
Many hopeful adoptive couples find that the wait to be chosen by birth mother gets tedious, and even more so during the holiday season. To keep yourself and your spouse motivated during your adoption wait, we’re sharing 5 tips with you today:
