Fraternal girl/boy twin babies taking a nap togetherWhen you start your adoption journey, one of the questions your adoption professional will ask you is regarding your preferences. Are you looking for a child of a certain race? Are you open to prenatal drug or alcohol use? What age range are you interested in? And, are you open to both genders?
These are all important questions, but let’s focus on the gender preference question here. Boy or girl? You may have visions in your head of pretty dresses and hair bows, or you may see football games and playing with cars. The thing is, these are gender stereotypes, and there is no guarantee that a girl is going to want bows in her hair or that your boy is going to want to play sports.
Be it an expected pregnancy or an unexpected pregnancy, selecting the gender is not one of the choices. The one thing I do know is that once that baby is placed in your arms, girl or boy, you wouldn’t have them any other way. My close friend has five boys. She cried and cried when during her last two pregnancies, she found out they were boys. Now, she can’t even imagine how she could have wanted them to be anyone but who they are. She is one super proud mom of her all-boy family.
Among hopeful adoptive parents who make a gender preference, it’s been estimated that 75-80% request to adopt a girl. Researches are unclear as to why this is, and the irony is there are more boys placed for adoption than girls.
Adoption professionals have differing opinions as to whether gender should be a preference. At Lifetime, you can choose your preference of a boy or a girl. There are a few things to keep in mind. Many times, when a birth mother is looking at adoptive parent profiles, she does not know if she is carrying a boy or a girl. The fact is even if an ultrasound is done, they are not 100% accurate.
It’s important to bear in mind that not all birth mothers choose to find out their baby’s gender. Some women feel that learning their baby’s gender would make their decision even more difficult.
So, for demonstration purposes, let’s say that about half of the birth mothers working with Lifetime know what gender they’re having while the other half don’t. Then of the 50% of birth mothers who know their baby’s gender, about half of are carrying girls, and half are carrying boys. This means that if you’re gender-specific, you’d only be shown to about 25% (or less!) of Lifetime’s adoption opportunities.
To sum it up, having a gender preference can have a strong correlation to how long it will take you to adopt. You will be waiting for a birth mother to choose you who knows the gender of her baby and is pregnant with the gender you are hoping for. In addition, if we have a sudden adoption situation where a woman makes an adoption plan from the hospital, but the baby’s gender is unknown, you would miss out on this opportunity to adopt.
Your adoption professional asks you about your preferences because of the importance of matching a baby with the family best suited to love and raise them. We recommend you really think about your preferences and discuss them at length with your partner.

If you have any questions about deciding gender preferences in adoption, contact the experienced adoption professionals here at Lifetime Adoption by calling (727) 493-0933.

We’re here to answer all of your questions and help you as you make this important decision.

Mardie Caldwell, C.O.A.P.

Written by Mardie Caldwell, C.O.A.P.

Mardie Caldwell, C.O.A.P., is a nationally-recognized adoption expert and the Founder of Lifetime Adoption Agency. She has been working in adoption since 1986 and is also an award-winning author and speaker.

Mardie knows the sorrow of coping with infertility, and is an adoptive parent who experienced many of the challenges adoptive families might face. In various media appearances worldwide, publications, and her podcast, Mardie important steps that must be taken to complete a safe and secure adoption. Having adopted her son, Mardie knows firsthand the joys of raising an adopted child.

Mardie’s life mission is to help adoptive parents and birth parents find each other. With Lifetime Adoption Agency, she seeks to build happy families and provide precious infants and children with a loving and secure future.