Being a single parent is more than just a job. It is a major life situation that will dictate how and what you do for years and years. Throughout those years of raising a child alone, your patience, strength, and sanity will be tried to the limit at times. Choosing single motherhood should not be taken lightly. It is a very serious decision, and your life will be forever changed should you make single parenting your choice.
Before you decide, consider this: Many women and young girls become pregnant unexpectedly every day. You are not the only one. You are also not alone, and there are people out there who can help you work through this situation.
So before you just jump into single parenting, understand that you do have a choice. Becoming a single parent does not have to be the direction that your life takes.
Consider How Your Life Will Change
Think about whether or not you are ready to sacrifice your life for a child. Children don’t come with instructions, and there will be so much that you will need to learn in order to take care of your child properly. If you have twins, that will be even more work.
Consider whether you are emotionally ready to give up so much of your own life, some friendships, and possibly even have time taken from your education. Having a child requires dedication and a willingness to give everything for that child’s wellbeing and happiness. Can you do that?
One single mom shares, “When I had my daughter at 19, I was so determined to make it work. But since I didn’t have a college degree, I couldn’t get hired for a high-paying job. My daughter’s dad ghosted me once he found out I was pregnant, so I’ve been working overtime at two jobs for the past couple of years. I only see my daughter in the morning when I rush her out the door to daycare and at night when I put her to bed. I want better for her. So, I’ve started thinking about adoption…”
Your Baby’s Father
With this unplanned pregnancy, have you really considered if your baby’s father will be present in their life? It’s one thing to take on the brunt of the work of raising a child, but imagine how frustrating and tiring it will be dealing with a potentially deadbeat father.
How will you explain to your child that their father may not want to be a part of their life? Doing that could really put you outside of your own comfort zone.
The Cost to Raise a Child
Raising a child can be an expensive endeavor. According to a report from the U.S. Department of Agriculture, the average cost of raising a child to age 18 is $233,610. And that’s not including the annual cost of college!
Even with different government programs and family members who say that they will help you, there will be times when everything will be financially on you.
Getting Support
People often have a lot of positive things to say before a baby comes. However, when your baby gets arrives, your expectations for their assistance and their actual level of help may be two different things.
You wouldn’t want to start a life around the expectation that someone else will be there for you because if it doesn’t happen, you could end up disappointed, scared, and overburdened with a child to care for all by yourself.
Choosing Single Motherhood or Adoption?
Before you literally raise your baby all by yourself as a single parent, you should definitely consider these things. If you don’t think single parenting will work for you, there’s always the choice to place your baby for adoption.
But try to avoid dissing the idea of adoption until you find out more about it. With modern, open adoption, you have the power and the choices. You get to choose your baby’s adoptive parents, how things will go at the hospital when you deliver, and how much future contact you’ll have with your child.
Adoption might be a major life-saver for you and your baby. You want to give your baby the best possible life…even if it means someone else raises him or her.
You can get more info on modern, open adoption here, or by calling or texting Lifetime Adoption at
1-800-923-6784. Getting info from us doesn’t mean you’re required to choose adoption. It just means you’re learning more!
As the Vice President (VP) of Lifetime Adoption, Heather Featherston holds an MBA and is passionate about working with those facing adoption, pregnancy, and parenting issues. Heather has conducted training for birth parent advocates, spoken to professional groups, and has appeared on television and radio to discuss the multiple aspects of adoption. She has provided one-on-one support to women and hopeful adoptive parents working through adoption decisions.
Since 2002, she has been helping pregnant women and others in crisis to learn more about adoption. Heather also trains and speaks nationwide to pregnancy clinics to effectively meet the needs of women who want to explore adoption for their child. Today, she continues to address the concerns women have about adoption and supports the needs of women who choose adoption for their child.
As a published author of the book Called to Adoption, Featherston loves to see God’s hand at work every day as she helps children and families come together through adoption.