Lots of women ask us how to pick the right adoptive family. The answer is different for everyone, but it always starts with asking yourself what’s important to you. This will help you choose a family that best matches your wants and dreams for your baby.
If you’re worried about whether your baby will be safe with the adoptive couple, know that Lifetime Adoption only works with families who are approved to adopt a baby in the U.S. Every one of our adoptive families have been pre-screened, had their backgrounds checked, and have proven they’re emotionally, physically, and financially equipped to provide a safe, stable, and loving home for your baby.
Here are 5 practical tips to follow as you search for the perfect parents for your baby:
1. Don’t Rush Yourself
While you might like to find a family during your pregnancy so you can begin getting to know them, make sure to take your time in finding a couple who is the right match for you and your baby. Don’t feel like you have to rush into a decision because your due date is approaching. You’re able to choose a family after your baby is born, too. It’s never too late!
2. Consider Open Adoption
If you want to have a very open adoption relationship, you might want to view families who have already adopted and have an ongoing relationship with their child’s birth mother. When you see a couple who remain in contact with their child’s birth mother, it’s a good sign that they’d be willing to have an open adoption relationship with you as well.
3. Remain Flexible
You won’t know exactly how much and what type of post-adoption contact you’ll want until you’ve placed your baby with his or her adoptive parents. During the planning stages of the adoption, some women feel like they’d like to visit with the adoptive family twice a year. But after placement, they decide that once a year is enough. It’s important to have an adoptive family who is open to that possibility and willing to be flexible. You might want to talk with the adoptive couple about leaving some room for flexibility in your post-adoption contact.
4. Talk to More Than One Couple
You might wish to speak with more than one adoptive family, even if it is just for comparison. It’s your right to talk to more than one couple if you want to. Some birth mothers know right away that the adoptive family they’ve selected is the perfect fit. Others want to talk to several adoptive couples to compare. This helps them make sure that their top pick is really the right family.
5. Trust Your Intuition
If you start to see “red flags” at any time that this might not be the right family for your baby, do something about it. Let your Adoption Coordinator at Lifetime know of your doubts. In the matching phase of your adoption planning, you’re not obligated to any one couple. If you start to feel uncomfortable, speak up and think about choosing another family.