“I’m due in a couple months, and I’m thinking about giving my baby up for adoption after she’s born. After seeing my own mom struggle as a single mom, I’ve realized that I want more for my baby than I can give her right now. She deserves to have every opportunity in life, like a good education.
But if I adopt out my baby, will I ever see her again? Will she know who I am?”
Yes, with open adoption, you can decide how much you’d like to stay in contact with your child after she goes home with her adoptive parents. By creating your own personalized adoption plan with Lifetime’s help, you’ll be able to see your child again. We encourage birth moms to stay in touch with the adoptive parents and their child as he or she grows up.
By having a relationship with your child and the adoptive parents, you’re helping your child form a positive self-identity as an adoptee. Also, staying in touch helps to answer any questions your child may have about where they came from as they grow up.
How do I keep in communication with my child in the future?
The kind of contact you’ll have is decided both by what you prefer and the arrangement you work out with the adoptive parents. As you create your adoption plan during your pregnancy, you’ll have an Adoption Coordinator dedicated to helping you. She’ll present you with adoptive families who have the same desires as you about future contact.
Future contact can happen through any of these ways, or a mixture of a few:
- Visits in person
- Pictures and emails sent through your Adoption Coordinator
- Video chats (like Skype)
- Text messages
- Phone calls
- Posts on apps like Instagram, Facebook, or Snapchat
Every adoption looks different because each birth mother gets to choose the type and amount of contact she’s most comfortable with. You’re able to have contact with your child in whichever way best meets your needs.
Nowadays, it’s even easier for open adoption to feel like a comfortable, extended family type of relationship. Because of modern technology, open adoption doesn’t have to be scheduled or scripted. You can develop a relationship that works for everyone involved, just like any connection among people who care about each other.
Will my child know me?
Here at Lifetime Adoption, we advise adoptive couples to be honest with their child about their adoption from the very beginning. Most adoptive parents begin talking about adoption books and storytime to help the child get familiar with the idea of adoption. Then as the child gets older, they’ll share more details of their adoption story, making sure that the info is suitable for the child’s age. But most importantly, the adoptive parents will make sure your child knows that they’re safe and loved.
When a child grows up knowing that he or she was adopted and is loved by both their birth and adoptive families, they avoid the painful moment of wondering why they were “given up” or doubt if they were wanted.
Lifetime’s adoptive parents honor adoption as a positive, beautiful experience that makes their adopted child special. They are open about sharing their child’s adoption story with the child as they grow up. Some even create a family tradition of celebrating their child’s adoption each year.
With the open adoptions of today, a child can grow up knowing that their birth parents gave them a beautiful gift by choosing adoption. They realize that adoption is a loving decision, and one to be proud of.