Sitting on her bed, staring at the positive pregnancy test, Kelly had no idea what to do next. She was not expecting to see those two lines letting her know she was pregnant. She was graduating high school in a few months, and both she and her boyfriend had plans to go to college and start their lives.
Now what?! How would she tell her parents and her boyfriend? Was this the end of her dreams of going to college? A million thoughts were swirling in her head, so Kelly did what she always does when she doesn’t have an answer. She Googled.
One of the first sites that came up was for a free book, So I Was Thinking About Adoption…Consider Your Choices. Adoption had not been the first thought that popped into Kelly’s head, but now that it was there in front of her, it was definitely something she wanted to learn more about. She downloaded the small book and started reading and began to feel like maybe there was a solution, and just maybe there was help out there for her.
Reading about the options for unplanned pregnancy and why women choose adoption for their child started to make sense to her. She found the list to start sorting out thoughts and emotions very helpful.
“Lists help you:
- Consider your choices
- Visualize what you have and what you need
- Ask good questions and keep track of your answers
- Gain confidence about what you think and want
- Balance facts and emotions
- Make an informed decision and plan the next step”
Passage from So I Was Thinking About Adoption…Consider Your Choices by Mardie Caldwell C.O.A.P.
Kelly read about open adoption, and found out that she could get updates on her baby as he grew, which was very comforting to her. Kelly would be able to choose the parents for her child. Her child would know that she chose adoption out of love to provide her baby and herself the best life possible. Feeling confident about her decision and having written down her reasons, Kelly was ready to share her news with her family, boyfriend, and friends. She was nervous but having read up on what to be prepared for, she approached them one by one and found the words she needed.
Her boyfriend seemed relieved that he was still going to be able to move on to college. She shared the book with him, and he agreed that this seemed to be the right thing to do. Then they shared their plans with their parents. While it took a while for them to get over the shock, they were impressed at the kids’ research and information. After some back and forth, agreed adoption was for the best.
They all met with the adoption coordinator and found a caring and experienced professional who was happy to walk them all through the open adoption process. It did not take long to look through the adoptive parents’ profiles and choose the family they all know would be just perfect. A match was made, and the adoptive parents were thrilled to be involved in the doctor’s appointments and get to see the ultrasounds. They were even more excited when it was time to go to the hospital for the delivery.
Adoption is not an easy decision. Carefully considering all of your options is very important. It is also important to understand all of the resources that are available to you. You will want to understand the adoption process, what rights birth fathers have, and the legal issues. Having an easy-to-read book and talking with your adoption coordinator will be priceless as you navigate your adoption journey.
And some good advice, taken from So I Was Thinking About Adoption…Consider Your Choices:
“Before, during, and after your adoption, take time for yourself. Deciding to place your child in an adoption plan is a life-changing event for you. Don’t be hard on yourself; it is not realistic to expect everything to go back to the way it used to be. You will change from this experience. Acknowledging that this is the right decision for you is the first thing you can do to help yourself.”
Let Lifetime Adoption help you learn about your choices in adoption and how it may be the right choice for you and your baby!
Linda Rotz, CWCM-S, CWCM-Trainer, ACC, is the Director of Adoption Services at Lifetime. Linda has worked in the field of adoption for 20 years within the child welfare/foster care system in Florida. She has degrees in Mass Communications and Human Development, and completed graduate studies in social work.
Due to her extensive expertise, Linda was called upon to write adoption procedures and training materials in Florida. She is certified as an Adoption Specialist, Child Welfare Case Manager Supervisor and Child Welfare Trainer in the state of Florida.