You’ve put a lot of time and effort put into choosing the perfect family for your baby. You’ve read profile after profile until you finally found “the one.” It can be a big relief to have that part of your adoption planning behind you.
That is until you realize now it’s time to meet them. If the thought of meeting them has you feeling stressed, you’re not alone. The adoptive couple is very nervous too because they want to make a good first impression.
Your Adoption Coordinator at Lifetime will help you get ready for that first meeting or phone call with an adoptive couple. She can also join the phone call, too, to help you begin the conversation and move it along.
Here are three helpful tips that’ll have you feeling more prepared for your first meeting with the adoptive couple:
Since you’ll need to create a connection with your baby’s potential adoptive parents, just be yourself. They’re just as nervous as you. The adoptive couple isn’t there to judge you, they want to get to know you and to show you that they’re dependable.
The more calm and open-minded you can be, the better. This will set a good tone as you get to know each other. You’re seeking a genuine connection because this will be a lifelong relationship.
Choose a Neutral Location
Try to meet in a neutral setting if possible, one where you’ll feel comfortable. You might choose to meet in a spot such as your favorite restaurant or shop. We recommend that you don’t meet up in the adoptive couple’s home or your home because it can create pressure. If you don’t live close enough to the adoptive couple to meet, we recommend talking on the phone for your first meeting.
If it’s hard to break the ice or the conversation goes off course, a public setting will give you more to talk about. Small talk can help make everyone comfortable and lead to a more meaningful discussion.
You’re in charge of this meeting, so feel free to ask as many questions as you want. After looking at their profile, you can try to get a better feel for who they are and what they have to offer. Use the information in their profile to dig a little deeper. When you’re getting ready for the meeting, we recommend writing down the questions you’d like to ask. Then, you can add more questions as you think of them.
The most important thing to remember as you prepare for this first meeting is that it’s up to you. If you don’t feel comfortable with the adoptive couple, you don’t have to choose them. Adoption isn’t easy, and the hardest part can be making sure you’re choosing the right adoptive family for your baby. So, don’t stress, take your time, and remember that you are in control.