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Archive for adoption match

How to Prepare for Your First Meeting With the Adoptive Parents

Pregnant woman talking on the phone at a parkYou’ve put a lot of time and effort put into choosing the perfect family for your baby. You’ve read profile after profile until you finally found “the one.” It can be a big relief to have that part of your adoption planning behind you.
 
That is until you realize now it’s time to meet them. If the thought of meeting them has you feeling stressed, you’re not alone. The adoptive couple is very nervous too because they want to make a good first impression.
 
Your Adoption Coordinator at Lifetime will help you get ready for that first meeting or phone call with an adoptive couple. She can also join the phone call, too, to help you begin the conversation and move it along.
 

Here are three helpful tips that’ll have you feeling more prepared for your first meeting with the adoptive couple:

Be Natural

Since you’ll need to create a connection with your baby’s potential adoptive parents, just be yourself. They’re just as nervous as you. The adoptive couple isn’t there to judge you, they want to get to know you and to show you that they’re dependable.
 
The more calm and open-minded you can be, the better. This will set a good tone as you get to know each other. You’re seeking a genuine connection because this will be a lifelong relationship.
 

Choose a Neutral Location

Try to meet in a neutral setting if possible, one where you’ll feel comfortable. You might choose to meet in a spot such as your favorite restaurant or shop. We recommend that you don’t meet up in the adoptive couple’s home or your home because it can create pressure. If you don’t live close enough to the adoptive couple to meet, we recommend talking on the phone for your first meeting.
 
If it’s hard to break the ice or the conversation goes off course, a public setting will give you more to talk about. Small talk can help make everyone comfortable and lead to a more meaningful discussion.
 

Ask Questions

You’re in charge of this meeting, so feel free to ask as many questions as you want. After looking at their profile, you can try to get a better feel for who they are and what they have to offer. Use the information in their profile to dig a little deeper. When you’re getting ready for the meeting, we recommend writing down the questions you’d like to ask. Then, you can add more questions as you think of them.
 
The most important thing to remember as you prepare for this first meeting is that it’s up to you. If you don’t feel comfortable with the adoptive couple, you don’t have to choose them. Adoption isn’t easy, and the hardest part can be making sure you’re choosing the right adoptive family for your baby. So, don’t stress, take your time, and remember that you are in control.
 

Questions about adoptive couples, or about adoption in general?

Call or text Lifetime Adoption Agency at 1-800-923-6784 anytime of the day or night!

How to Create a Connection With the Family You Chose

Once you choose adoptive parents for your baby, you’ll move forward in what’s called an adoption “match.” Through modern adoption, you have options on how you’d like to communicate with them throughout your pregnancy.

You’ll be part of each other’s lives for many years to come, so we encourage you to get to know the adoptive parents you’ve picked. Doing so can make you feel positive and confident in your decision.

Today, Lifetime Adoption Agency is sharing 4 effective ways to connect with the adoptive couple:

Birth mother chats on the phone with adoptive family

By Talking on the Phone

We want your adoption match to be a cooperative (and conversational) journey between you and the adoptive parents. Talking with the adoptive couple on the phone allows you to create a two-way conversation where you can share your wishes. Not sure what to say when you only talk with the adoptive couple on the phone? You might share about your pregnancy, how involved you’d like to be in your child’s future, and what you want for your child as they grow up. Your Adoption Coordinator at Lifetime is here to help you during this process.

By Emailing or Texting Back & Forth

Are you intimidated at the thought of talking on the phone with the couple? You might try starting out by emailing or texting back and forth with them. Think of it like this: you’re getting to know a new friend, and you share one of the most important people in your lives in common.

By Seeing Them In Person

Lifetime recommends having a face-to-face meeting with the adoptive couple. Visiting with them will make all of you feel more comfortable and familiar with each other. Meeting up allows you to see that they care about you, not just your baby. Choose to meet in a casual, public location to start, so there’s no pressure. “I’m so glad I met up with my daughter Hailey’s adoptive parents before giving birth! It allowed me to feel much more comfortable with them once the time came to deliver her,” says one birth mother, Jessica.

Birth mother in the hospital

During Your Hospital Stay

In open adoptions, many adoptive families wish to be at the hospital when their baby is born. But it’s totally up to you whether or not they’re allowed in the delivery room. Some birth mothers decide to allow the adoptive mother to be present.

We recommend that you decide how your hospital stay will go down before you go into labor. Here a few things to think about for your hospital stay:

  • How much time do you want alone with your baby after he or she is born?
  • Would you like to have a family member or friend with you as support?
  • When it comes time to go home, would you like to leave before your child’s adoptive family, after, or at the same time?

Your Baby, Your Choices

You can decide how much contact you’d like to have with the adoptive couple before you give birth. If you’d like to have an open adoption with visits later on, try to take the time to get to know the adoptive family before your baby is born. Many birth mothers have shared with us that getting to know the adoptive couple made them feel more confident in their decision. It allowed them to realize that this was the right family for their baby.

Lifetime is always here for you to talk to about your baby, the process, any concerns you have, and so much more.

Just call or text us at 1-800-923-6784.

8 Ways to Be Positive During the Adoption Wait

During the adoption wait a couple walks their dogAre you having a difficult time during the adoption wait? Maintaining a positive attitude makes even the most challenging times easier to experience. Being positive doesn’t mean pretending that you have a perfect life, but rather about seeing the good in life and shifting how you perceive this time.
 
Research has shown that positive thinking can lead to success. Being positive isn’t a switch that can be turned on: like any skill it requires practice. Maintaining a positive attitude is crucial if you want to adopt.
 

Here are 8 ways you can boost your positivity:

 

  1. Think good thoughts. Negative thoughts can happen when you’re waiting to be chosen by a birth mother. When you experience one, take a moment to catch yourself. Identify the problem or emotion you’re feeling, then counter it with a positive thought.
  2. Be grateful. Spend time each day reminding yourself of everything good in your life. Write them down or share them with a loved one. For accountability, you might try doing a “30 Day Gratitude Challenge” with your spouse.
  3. Smile! Research has shown that smiles are contagious. Smile at a stranger, a co-worker, or a friend. They’ll smile back, leaving you both feeling more positive.
  4. Stay active. Exercise makes you feel better physically and mentally. Several times a week go for a walk, work on a project around the house, hit the gym, or play your favorite sport.
  5. Set goals. Having a goal can make you feel more hopeful and confident and give you something to strive for. Make your goal realistic and specific, and use positive words when writing or talking about it. For example, you might set a goal to have your adoption video recorded and edited within two weeks or to submit your home study paperwork within a week.
  6. Keep good company. The people you spend time with have a direct impact on how you feel. Seek out people who believe in you and your adoption dream. Spend time with family members, friends, co-workers, or acquaintances who think positive and inspire and motivate you to achieve your goals.
  7. Do things you love. Make time in your day to do something that makes you happy. Listen to music, read a book, catch up with a friend, or step outside and enjoy nature.
  8. Write in a journal. Jot down all the positive things that happen to you each day. Your journal entries can be just a few words or sentences. Pick a day each month to read through your journal and relive your positive experiences.

How to Protect Yourself From Adoption Scams

Discover how you can protect yourselves from adoption scamsThe process of open adoption is a rewarding and emotional journey. The last thing we want is for any of our clients to fall victim to an adoption scam.

The vast majority of birth mothers who contact us are legitimate. However, each year, scam artists do make contact with a few of our clients.

Historically, Lifetime has done an excellent job of protecting clients from scams. In fact, most times we shut down a scammer’s activities within 24 hours. Our goal is to stop the process before people become emotionally hurt or lose money.

Lifetime’s Birthmother Coordinators speak to hundreds of potential birth parents each year. This experience enables our team to recognize “red flags,” sometimes within minutes of speaking with someone. While it is essential to be open and receptive to any potential birth parent that contacts you, it’s smart to allow the staff at Lifetime Adoption Agency to assess the situation objectively and thoroughly. Remember to call Lifetime whenever a potential birthparent contacts you.

Here are 5 tips to keep in mind in order to avoid adoption scams:

1. Requests Money
Never give funds of any kind to a birth parent unless an Adoption Coordinator at Lifetime has approved it. (FYI: many states limit the amount of money that can be given to birthmothers) A scam situation typically involves someone trying to take your money, but they can also be what is referred to as an emotional scammer. The following are examples of scams that we have come in contact with.

A birth parent may contact you on a holiday, weekend or late at night needing money immediately for food, housing or car repairs. This type of “crisis call” is geared to catch you off guard. Please direct the birth parents to call Lifetime. We will connect the birth parents to an emergency referral.

A birth parent may give you conflicting information. She may be genuinely confused because she is speaking with several families and cannot keep her details straight.

A birth parent offers to bring a baby to you contingent upon a plane ticket or money for a plane or bus fare. This is a typical ploy to take your money. Even if the situation is legitimate, some states do not allow this type of assistance. Do not take chances. Contact your Coordinator at Lifetime before providing transportation for anyone.

2. Multiples

Twins or triplets is frequently a sign of a scam. Do not accept faxed or emailed “‘proof of pregnancy” or a sonogram picture. We will confirm the pregnancy directly with the healthcare provider with a legal release of information.

3. Use Caution if You Get an Outrageous Story
Some scam situations have nothing to do with money. We refer to these as emotional scams. These scams are usually accompanied by an extreme crisis, complex emotional states and/or emergency medical emotional issues. A birth parent may keep you on the phone for several hours at a time or send you dozens of texts a day. Stories may be very sad and include rape and incest or involved stories of their own adoption. This type of scam involves your emotions, heart and time. Be sensitive, but refer the birthparent to Lifetime for professional counseling and support rather than trying to provide it on your own.

4. Doesn’t Want Adoption Professionals Involved
A birth parent may request that your adoption professional remains uninvolved with the adoption due to a negative relationship with the staff or a past bad experience with an adoption agency. This is a red flag: a scam birth mother will not want to talk to a professional counselor for fear of being “discovered.” Lifetime’s professional support and guidance will facilitate a successful adoption.

A birth parent may state that she’s choosing you at the last minute because a family or agency that she has been working with recently rejected her. This is often a tactic used to get you to move quickly and provide financial support. While it may be true that the birth parent has recently ceased working with an adoptive family or agency, the disruption most likely occurred for a valid reason. It may be that the birthparent demanded money shortly before the birth or after delivery, or the agency may have asked too many questions in an attempt to verify the birthparent’s situation.

5. Only Interested in Your Spouse
You may encounter a birth parent who shows an extreme amount of interest in your spouse, including wanting to only speak with him/her or wanting to know intimate facts about that person. This is not normal. Do not allow a birth parent to manipulate the situation. Refer the birthparent to Lifetime Adoption Agency.

“Open Adoption is Amazing! We’re Thankful to Be a Part of It!”

Brynlee's parents exclaim, "Open adoption is amazing!"

Here at our adoption agency in Florida, we love to share updates from our adoptive couples who are experiencing the joys of open adoption! Today, we’re sharing a sweet open adoption update from Jesse and Alicia, a young adoptive couple living in Colorado. Earlier this year, we wrote about their thankfulness to God for writing their beautiful adoption story. And last summer, we blogged to congratulate them on their adoption!

A year ago, Jesse and Alicia wrote, “We’re so thankful to have found Lifetime. You all have been there every step of the way. Struggling with infertility for so long leaves you vulnerable and it is difficult to imagine that you may never become a parent. God led us to Lifetime because He knew this perfect little girl would be waiting for us and that everyone at Lifetime would be here every step of the way! Every phone call, every webinar, and every prayer helped us become stronger and prepared us for parenthood.”

Here’s the most recent update from Jesse and Alicia, who created their family through a Lifetime open adoption:

Brynlee having fun in Disneyland“We have been reflecting on our journey a lot lately. On Mother’s Day I couldn’t think of anything I would rather do than to spend time with the woman who made me a mom! We met with Brynlee’s birth parents and visited the aquarium downtown! I love that we are in the same state because we can visit each other often. Brynlee loved seeing the fish and she soaked up all the hugs and play time.

Watching them interact was such an amazing feeling. It showed us again, just how amazing open adoption really is and how thankful we are to be a part of it.

After struggling with infertility for so long and hiding from this day every year, it was nice to have someone to celebrate it with and I feel like it was part of my healing process.

Jesse, Brynlee, and Alicia in Disneyland with Minnie MouseWhen we were saying our, ‘see you later,’ they gave me flowers and I just about lost it! I was amazed at how strong and selfless this gesture was. I was so honored! I think about them and pray for them every single day! I pray they are safe and that they are content with the decision they made and this gave me the reassurance I have been needing. They are doing well and they know their daughter is cared for and loved so much!

Can you believe Brynlee is 1 year old!?? Time is flying incredibly fast and we are enjoying every second! We are learning so much as she is blossoming into a beautiful, independent toddler. I take full advantage of when she wants to sit on my lap or be held to fall asleep. We celebrated Brynlee turning 1 by having a birthday party with family and friends. We also took her to Disneyland and spent some time on the beach, she LOVES being in the water.

We are eternally grateful for being chosen to raise Brynlee and for all the amazing people we have met along the way.”

If you’re ready to see how Lifetime’s Adoption Agency could help build your family, please apply today! You can click here to take the first step towards becoming a Lifetime family.

What Are the Benefits of Paying an Adoption Agency in Advance?

why should we be paying an adoption agency in advance?“Why should we pay adoption fees up front, before we have a match? I have a friend who is adopting too, and she says that her agency only asks for part of the fee up front. And then once they’re matched, they pay the rest of the fee. Why should we be paying an adoption agency in advance?”

At our adoption agency and with many adoption professionals, the client pays fees when we begin working together. By doing so, we’re telling you that we’re going to put all of our efforts into your adoption. Paying your adoption fees in advance also means that you’re willing to make yourself available to consider every one of the birth mother situations we present to you. When you have the commitment like this coming on both sides, the adoption will succeed.

Some will argue against paying an adoption agency in advance, and say things like “But if we pay up front, the agency has no incentive.” If your adoption professional has a good track record and wants to keep it that way, they need to keep their clients satisfied! At Lifetime Adoption Agency, this has always been our incentive.

Another agency, such as the one your friend is contracted with, might ask you to pay a small fee up front. A second fee is due once they match, and a third fee is due once their child comes home. We’ve found that this fee structure actually works against the adoptive couple.

The agency is motivated to get you a match, even if it’s not a solid one. If the adoption falls through or the birth mother reclaims her baby, you don’t get a refund on that match fee. The next time they have a match for you, you’ll need to pay again.

It’s best to find an adoption agency that will charge you one flat fee for the work it does to find you a child. You need an agency that will work with you for a set period of time, or until a match is found.

We’d love to know more about your adoption goals! Connect with Lifetime to ask your adoption questions by calling 1-800-923-6784.

“Thank you for helping us on the journey to parenthood. We love Lifetime!”

Chris and Carrie adopted their son through the Lifetime adoption agency

Lifetime’s adoption agency in Florida loves it when we get to share updates from our adoptive couples who have experienced the joy of infant adoption! Today, we’re sharing a sweet updated from Chris and Carrie, a young adoptive couple living in Kentucky. Earlier this year, we wrote about their exciting news of being blessed to adopt a baby boy!

Back in January, Chris and Carrie shared with us: “The whole process was just absolutely amazing! Colton’s birth parents are angels. They allowed us to be present for the entire process. We were in the room for his birth and the four of us spent an hour and a half together before we went to separate rooms. Colton’s birth mother was able to hold him as well!”

Here’s the most recent email from Chris and Carrie, who created their family with the help of the Lifetime adoption agency:

Chris and Carrie's son, ColtonHi Tiffany,

Here are some photos of us and sweet Colton. We are beyond grateful that we get to raise Colton. He is the most amazing gift! We are so thankful for his birth parents, we love them dearly.

Colton is almost five months, he loves to coo, smile, suck on his hands and laugh. We are trying to enjoy every moment with him.

We just finished our last post placement visit and hope to finalize within the next month. Words cannot accurately express the joy and life he has brought to our family. Thank you for helping us along this journey to parenthood, we love Lifetime!

And check out this short video about their experience with the Lifetime adoption agency!

If you’d like to read more adoption stories like this one, please visit our “Recent Adoptions & Matches” page. Our adoption staff updates this page all the time, so you’ll want to keep visiting the page to see new baby photos and stories!

If you’re ready to see how Lifetime’s Adoption Agency could help build your family, please apply today! You can click here to take the first step towards becoming a Lifetime family.

Your Florida Adoption Agency Was There Every Step of the Way!

Lifetime’s adoption agency in Florida loves it when we get to share updates from our adoptive couples who have been blessed by infant adoption! Today, we’re sharing a sweet one from Joe and Megan, a young adoptive couple living in New Jersey. In their adoption video, they shared: “We cannot wait to welcome this baby into our family and cherish them forever!”

Here’s a heartwarming email from Joe and Megan, another adoptive couple who built their family with the help of our Florida adoption agency!

Joe and Megan adopted through our Florida adoption agency!

“From the beginning, I felt at ease with Lifetime. Our journey started with Kim, who was so knowledgeable and made us feel so welcomed. We then spoke with Linda and Natalie and we knew we had met the perfect team. All our questions and concerns were answered in a timely manner.

Natalie was always able to make me feel better on days I never thought this would happen. And then we got *the call* from Chrissy and our lives changed in the greatest way! Also, I cannot forget Tiffany, who stepped in during an important time in our match process.

We can never thank Lifetime enough for bringing us such great joy. You all are amazing and we are beyond thankful for all the work you do. Thank you for being there every step of the way!”

Want to read more touching adoption stories like this one? Just visit our “Recent Adoptions & Matches” page. We add to this page every week, so keep visiting to see cute baby photos and stories!

If you’re ready to see how Lifetime’s Florida Adoption Agency could help build your family, please apply today! You can click here to take the first step towards becoming a Lifetime family.

We Love Lifetime With All Our Hearts…Thank You!

Lifetime’s adoption agency in Florida loves it when we get to share updates from our adoptive couples who have been blessed by infant adoption! Today, we’re sharing a sweet one from Luke and Lindsay, a young adoptive couple living in Illinois. They adopted their son, Lincoln, through Lifetime last year. Last May they emailed us, “We truly can’t believe he’s here…it still feels like a dream! So thankful to you all at Lifetime and to God for this journey!”

Here’s a recent email Luke and Lindsay, another adoptive couple who’s expanded their family with the help of our Florida adoption agency!

Luke and Lindsay rave about Lifetime

Hello! It’s hard to believe Lincoln is already a year old. I wanted to send an email thanking you all again for all the support, love, encouragement and clarity in the chaos happening this time last year!

Lincoln and his proud big sister HannahThe year has just flown by…we still can’t believe how much this little boy has overcome and accomplished. He is into everything, loves to belly laugh, and is best friends with Hannah. The first thing they do when waking up is to find each other and share hugs in the morning. She refers to him as her “little buddy Win-con.”

We never imagined how beautiful our story would unfold. We tried so many years to have children…never in a million years did we see being blessed with two amazing babies in 3 years. God is so good!

We also exchange such sweet text messages with Lincoln’s birth mom. We text around holidays and send her photos every other month or two. Its been such a sweet connection, being able to share his accomplishments and adorable smiles.

We love Lifetime with all our hearts…thank you again!

Forever grateful,
Luke and Lindsay

Want to read more touching adoption stories like this one? Just visit our “Recent Adoptions & Matches” page. We add to this page every week, so keep visiting to see cute baby photos and stories!

If you’re ready to see how Lifetime’s Florida Adoption Agency could help build your family, please apply today! You can click here to take the first step towards becoming a Lifetime family.

Check Out This Review of Our Adoption Agency in Florida!

Lifetime’s adoption agency in Florida loves to share reviews from our adoptive couples! Today, we’re sharing a sweet comment from Brandon and Terra, a Wisconsin couple who are still in their adoption wait. Just last month, we wrote about their short and sweet adoption video, which they created to share how excited they are to adopt a baby.

Terra recently emailed her Adoption Coordinator, Natalie:

“Hi! We wanted to write and say how thankful we are for Lifetime. We were on a flight yesterday speaking to a couple that recently adopted and it was not a pleasant experience. That truly hurt my heart as this should be a happy time. The agency they used did not provide half of what we get with Lifetime, especially the webinars.

When we were talking about our experience thus far, the couple was blown away by the above and beyond service you all provide your families. I felt it was only fair to share. We are thankful every day that God brought us to you all!”

If you’re ready to see how Lifetime’s Florida Adoption Agency could help build your family, please apply today! You can click here to take the first step towards becoming a Lifetime family.