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Archive for adoption myths

How to Bring Truth to These 4 Common Adoption Myths

Join Lifetime as we shed light on 4 common adoption myths!“Wow, I thought adoption was super-expensive, how did you afford it?”

“Aren’t you worried that her birth mother will come to take her back?”

“Don’t you want a baby of your own?”

Upon telling your family and friends you’re adopting, you may have gotten asked questions like these, followed by looks of concern. Even though they just want what’s best for you, ignorant questions like these prove that they don’t fully understand how modern adoption works.

In movies and TV shows, we often see an inaccurate picture of adoption, one that’s full of drama. As a result, many are led to believe the adoption stories they watch in the media are typical of real-life adoptions.

Lifetime encourages you to educate family and friends with the truth to these 4 commonly-believed adoption myths:

1. “You have to be rich if you want to adopt.”

While adoption can be expensive, it doesn’t mean that wealthy celebrities are the most common adoptive parents. Most adoptive families are ordinary, middle-class people.

Adoption costs vary, with international adoption being the most expensive. So, there’s a type of adoption to meet every budget. For those who pursue domestic adoption, the adoption tax credit can compensate for most of your expenses. Every hopeful adoptive parent’s situation is different, so it’s a matter of determining the type of adoption that works best for you. Many adoptive couples budget, fundraise, and save in order to afford adoption, and there’s also the adoption tax credit, which helps defray adoption costs.

2. “The birth parents can just come by and reclaim their child!”

In reality, after the adoption is final, birth parents aren’t able to reclaim their child. Up to the point that they sign papers relinquishing their parental rights, which can be 24 hours or longer depending on their state laws, they can change their minds.

But this is no longer the case once the adoption is final. At that point the adoption becomes final, you are the child’s legal parents. You may have heard adoptive families called “forever families,” and that’s because adoption truly is forever.

3. “Most birth mothers are irresponsible teenagers.”

The truth is that birth mothers are a variety of ages within range of childbearing years. We have helped birth mothers anywhere from their teens up to their forties, but most birth mothers we support are in their twenties and thirties. Rather than focus on birth mothers’ age and situation, we encourage you to share that birth mothers are women who make a decision so their baby can have opportunities they are unable to provide.

4. “It’s hard to develop a relationship with a child you’re not biologically related to.”

Adoptive parents, like biological parents, develop a deep and lasting bond with their child. If you ask any adoptive parent, they’ll tell you that there’s no difference in the love they have for a biological or an adopted child. The child they adopted is their “own,” despite the fact they didn’t give birth. Love, not biology, is what creates a family!

5 Stereotypes About Birth Parents that Need to Be Stopped Now

Let's end hurtful stereotypes about birth parentsThere seem to be plenty of stereotypes about birth parents: that they’re addicted to drugs, that birth fathers don’t care, or that birth mothers are women who don’t want children. Stereotypes develop because not enough is known about a person or situation. Stereotypes about birth parents are no different. They’ve developed from a variety of sources, and society has come to develop them into a stereotype birth parent.
 
Actually, one thing birth parents have in common is the desire to provide their child with the best life they can. Women who choose adoption do so out of love. Birth mothers make a very difficult, but also courageous choice that should be supported and applauded.
 
It’s time we put a stop to these hurtful stereotypes about birth parents and replace them with the truth:
 

1. Stereotype: All birth parents are teenagers.

Truth: Birth parents are a wide range of ages

Teenagers aren’t the only people facing an unplanned pregnancy. The fact is that plenty of people decide that adoption is their best option, from teens to women in their forties. They’re making an adoption plan after lots of thought so that they can provide their child with a life that they can’t.

2. Stereotype: Birth parents are addicted to drugs.

Truth: Some birth parents use, but many do not.

Around 20% of birth mothers use drugs or alcohol during their pregnancy. In most of these cases, she used drugs or drank before she became aware of her pregnancy. Women choose adoption out of concern and love for their unborn child. So, they’d rarely consider something that would cause their baby any harm.

3. Stereotype: Birth fathers don’t care.

Truth: Most birth fathers do care, and want to be involved in the adoption.

This stereotype about birth parents damages all men and fathers. There are stories of men who didn’t know they had a baby placed into an adoptive family’s home and then worked for some contact.

Fortunately, adoption laws have evolved to protect the rights of birth fathers, so this won’t happen. As open adoption has become the norm, many birth fathers are actively involved in the adoption planning process. And, they remain in contact with the adoptive couple and their child as the years pass. Open adoption benefits everyone in the adoption triad: the adoptee, adoptive family, and both of the birth parents. So, birth fathers shouldn’t be regarded as dismissive.

4. Stereotype: All birth parents are poor.

Truth: Birth parents come from a variety of socio-economic backgrounds

Some birth mothers receive public assistance and feel that they can’t adequately provide for their baby. Other birth mothers come from middle-class backgrounds. They might be in college, have other children, or be living with their parents.

The truth is typically someplace in between. Often, birth mothers feel like they are just barely getting by and can’t provide for one more child in the midst of everything they’re handling.

5. Stereotype: Birth mothers don’t want children.

Truth: There’s no single reason why a woman decides on adoption.

Some birth mothers are already parenting children and don’t have the means to care for another. Some birth mothers want to have children in the future but aren’t ready right now. Sometimes the baby was wanted and even planned, but their situation led to adoption being the best choice.

We Reveal the Truth About 5 Adoption Myths

learn the truth about these 5 adoption mythsToday, we’re sharing honest answers to 5 adoption myths about choosing adoption for your baby:

1. Adoption is selfish
This adoption myth is the biggest one out there! Really, adoption is about the least selfish choice that you can make for your child. It doesn’t mean you don’t love your baby. It means the opposite: you love them so much that you want them to have the life they deserve. When you don’t have the needed resources to care for a baby or aren’t ready to become a parent, choosing adoption for your baby is the most selfless thing you can do.

2. I’ll be giving my baby away to strangers
With a modern, open adoption, you have the power to choose your baby’s adoptive parents, and meet them to interview them too. You can pick a family who would raise your baby exactly the way that you wish. You also have the right to decide how much future contact with your child and family as you would like, whether it’s emails, letters, photos, or even visits.

3. I can’t do adoption without my parent’s approval
Some parents don’t understand modern adoption and how it works, so they might get angry and try to change your mind. The truth to this adoption myth is that no matter how young you are, no one can force you to a pregnancy choice, whether it’s parenting, adoption, or abortion. The law is on your side, and your parents typically don’t have rights to your baby. If your parents aren’t supportive, you might try writing down your adoption plan so they can see you’ve put a lot of thought into this.


4. If I use drugs or alcohol, no one will want to adopt my baby

Whatever your life situation is, there are adoptive families ready to provide your baby with a loving home. Lifetime is here to support and help you as you make an adoption plan, even if your baby has been exposed to drugs or alcohol. It’s important that you’re honest with us about any tobacco, drug, or alcohol use during your pregnancy. That way, your doctor is able to best take care of your health, and the health of your baby.

If you’re using drugs and are near your due date, your baby may test positive for drugs at birth. If these cases, the hospital must notify Child Protective Services, and your baby may be placed in foster care. By having an adoption plan in place, you’re able to choose where your baby will go, and the level of contact you want to have with your child as they grow up. So, if you think your baby may test positive for drugs at birth, call us at 1-800-923-6784 for help and info.

5. My baby is almost a year old! It’s too late to do adoption
It is never too late to choose adoption, and you can begin at any time. Maybe you’d thought about adoption and put it on hold. You can still go forward at any time. Even if you’ve been trying to make parenting work and are struggling, it’s not too late. You’re never making a bad choice for your child by loving them enough to give them the life you know they deserve, when you know you can’t provide it.

If you’re thinking of adoption, you can call Lifetime today to learn more: 1-800-923-6784. Contacting us doesn’t mean you HAVE to choose adoption. It just means you’re learning more about it.

6 Infant Adoption Myths, Debunked

adoption myths

A baby boy who was adopted through Adoption Agency Florida

What people think about adoption comes from what they see in the media, in TV shows and movies. Most of the plot lines in these shows and movies are exaggerated, with stuff that would never happen in real life. If you’re considering infant adoption, it’s important that you learn the truth about these 6 common adoption myths:

Myth #1: You can’t adopt a healthy newborn in the U.S.

The truth: Every year, thousands of couples adopt completely healthy newborn babies. Most of these infant adoptions are through open adoption. Open adoption means that the birth mother chooses the family, and they stay in touch after placement. A domestic adoption is a doable option for couples who need help starting (or building) their family.

Myth #2: It takes a long time to adopt a baby.

The truth: Most couples can in around a year! It comes down to how motivated they are to adopt, and how long it takes them to complete the necessary paperwork and interviews.

Myth #3: Singles are unable to adopt.

The truth: Many single people are building their families through adoption. International adoption has rules established by each country. So, singles may need to adopt domestically. Just be sure you find an adoption professional who has had success with single parent adoption.

Myth #4: The biological mothers are usually in their teens.

The truth: Actually, birth mothers are typically in their 20s and already parenting a child or children. They’re single mothers, struggling to make ends meet. So, they’ve chosen adoption after a lot of thought and because they desire a better life for their child.

Myth #5: Babies available for adoption in American are all drug-exposed.

The truth: The majority of women thinking about adoption for their child aren’t using drugs. It takes consideration and time to make an adoption plan. Most birth mothers are leading pretty healthy lives and receiving pre-natal care. They’re making the choice of adoption because they love and care about their baby.

Myth #6: You should wait to tell a child they’re adopted until they’re able to understand what adoption is.

The truth: The process of telling your child the special way they came into your family is best started at birth. If you wait until they’re older, the news can be shocking. They might question what else you’ve hidden from them, and feel shameful or guilty. You can use children’s books about adoption to help you teach them from day one.