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Archive for adoption story

“I Praise God for Women Who Choose Adoption”

This guest post was written by a Lifetime adoptive mother who adopted a baby girl last year, along with her husband.
 
"I praise God for women who choose adoption" shares an adoptive mother“It’s National Adoption Month. I’ve had a lot on my mind. And I’ve tried to do my due diligence at reading/listening to all members of the domestic private adoption triad. Here’s what I’ve learned…
 
The adoptee doesn’t want to be told to be thankful. She lives with a label she can’t hide from and a shadow of what the unknown could have been like.
 
Birth mom doesn’t want to be told what a selfless and sacrificial decision she made. She may live with guilt and grief, and despise the adoptive parents because she feels like a doormat. Only getting contact to check off the box of what they owe her…
 
We haven’t heard from our birth mom since our daughter was six weeks old. I can’t help but wonder how she is. I send her a lengthy email every two months, update pictures in a Google share folder, and send text pictures randomly. No response. I gave her permission to tell me to be more frequent, or less frequent – but no response. I miss her. I care about her. I wish I knew how to help her.
 
Adoptive mother and newborn adopteeOur daughter is great! She loves her family, and we love her. This is a journey, and in 10 years there will be much more to say about how she is – how she has come to accept her heritage. My prayer for her is that adoption would not define her, that she wouldn’t let it be her sole identity. But rather, through this experience she would become an advocate for families. An advocate for children.
 
My husband is a pastor. We work with a lot of children and adolescents. There are so many difficult situations our kids are dealing with – living in. Step parents are cruel, moms are in jail, dads and boyfriends are abusive, and children beg for food, I could go on. This is really difficult to say without sounding judgmental, or proud – so please hear this carefully. 18 years is a long time for a child to live in turmoil. When I think about our daughter’s birth family, the writing on the wall tells me she would have been living among unstable and non-committal relationships. Her birth mom found herself in a very sticky situation, bless her heart. I have full forgiveness and mercy for her. And for our daughter’s sake, I’m so thankful she chose adoption. I’m not sure what her motives were. Whether she realizes it or not, she saved our daughter from a slew of messy and quite possibly abusive relationships. She gave her stability and full acceptance. She’s no longer an accident, a mistake, an ex-girlfriend’s other child, a half-sister, or a girlfriend’s daughter. This is an identity she does not have to live with! And I am so THANKFUL for her sake. She is a daughter, a sister. No strings attached.
 
This is also difficult to say, because I don’t want to exclude single adoptive moms – or cast judgement on single parents. I simply want to say, that on top of what I’ve already said about the gift our daughter’s birth mom gave her, she gave her a DAD. Had she stayed with her birth family, in 15 years she may have been saying to her pastor, like many have said to us in tears, ‘I don’t have a dad.’ They call mom’s boyfriend dad, but he’s not their dad and next month he could be gone. Their siblings’ dad babysits them, but he’s not their dad, and everyone knows it. Our daughter has a dad, and he’s not going anywhere.
 
The gospel has incredible healing power. And I believe God changes lives. I would 100% support a single woman with an unplanned pregnancy who wanted to parent, because I believe God can turn our mess into something beautiful. He is the God of restoration. But the road isn’t easy. Quoting the title of an excellent book, the Christian life is “a long obedience in the same direction.” Although this next part grieves me, I’ve also learned to accept that not every birth mom is ready for the long obedience that will transform her mess into a beautiful story. And so I praise God for those birth moms who choose adoption. And I also praise God for bringing the gospel to me, for cleaning up my own mess and equipping me to be a part of someone else’s story – my daughter’s story. It’s an overwhelming privilege. I pray I am faithful to the task.”

 

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Take the first step today by filling out
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“Open Adoption Was the Best Thing for My Son”

Birth mother Ashley shares why she chose open adoption

Birth mother Ashley shares her adoption story“When I discovered I was pregnant, I was terrified and confused. I was a freshman in college. My boyfriend and I talked about our options. He knows I am pro-life, so he didn’t even suggest abortion. We both agreed that adoption was the best decision. I called my parents from school to tell them this life-changing news. They were very supportive of my decision to adopt out my baby.

An old friend of mine told me about a couple that was looking to adopt. She gave me the number for Lifetime Adoption Agency and urged me to call. The woman I talked to at Lifetime was very friendly and helpful.

They sent me numerous profiles about prospective parents. I selected three, including the first couple I met through my friend and talked with them all. I had a good feeling about the first couple, but I wanted to be absolutely sure they were the right people to raise my child. After meeting the other couples, I knew that the first couple were the ones.

I had a lot of support from my family, friends, my Adoption Coordinator at Lifetime, and, of course, the adoptive parents. I never doubted that the best thing for my little one was to make an adoption plan for him.

The adoptive couple visited me often, and the wife was there in the delivery room along with my parents. As I kissed my son’s tiny, perfect cheek, I cried. But they were tears of joy at having completed someone’s family.

The adoptive parents and I talk on the phone, and they tell me how healthy and happy my son is. They send me pictures regularly, and I am secure in the knowledge that he is being brought up by beautiful people. I wrote my son a letter explaining why I chose adoption for him and telling him that if he wishes to see me, I would enjoy nothing more than to sit and talk with him when he is ready.

Making an adoption plan was the best thing I could’ve done for my son, given my situation. I like to tell people how beautiful open adoption is. My family and I have become good friends with the adoptive parents. I thank God for Lifetime and for open adoption.”

Every Adoption is Meant to Be

Sometimes, couples ask themselves if they’re on the right track with trying to adopt. Silas and Dawn, a couple who adopted through our agency, shared in one of our webinars that they felt this way. Today, they feel like each part of their journey to adopt their son was meant to be.

Are you currently in your adoption wait? Then hearing Silas and Dawn’s story is a valuable reminder that you too will adopt. Watch this short video of adoptive parents Silas and Dawn sharing how their son’s adoption is meant-to-be!

Every adoption is meant to be. from Lifetime Adoption on Vimeo.

Adoptive father Silas shares, “First of all, you probably made the best decision with going with Lifetime. They understand the process and they prepare you for it.

One of the biggest things for me was, okay great we made this decision [to adopt] but how do we go about making this happen? I know that there are other agencies out there, but to be honest with you, we really feel right at home with Lifetime. I’ve already recommended it to my friends who have even asked me about it and I would not hesitate at all. So you are in good hands and just walk the path and do the steps and it’s going to happen.”

Silas as Dawn testify how every adoption is meant to be

And his wife, Dawn, adds, “Trust the process. It’s hard to do and I heard it so many times when we were waiting. It’s hard to hear those words. But just trust the process because it really does happen! When it happens, it’s perfect!

In the webinars that I’ve listened to where [the adoptive couple] had walked through more than one match before they finally brought a baby home, even those couples were saying that the baby that they finally did bring home and adopt was perfect for their situation, their family and everything they ever could have wanted. Everything works out in the end as it’s meant to be…that’s really what it is. Having that faith that this is going to happen when it’s supposed to for you.”

Watch Silas and Dawn’s whole story of how they expanded their family through adoption! In this recent adoption webinar, they give waiting couples an inspiring outlook for the wait, adoption travel tips, how you can use social media in your adoption, and their experience with Lifetime.

Just go to AdoptionWebinar.com to watch “Meant to Be: Silas and Dawn’s Adoption Story.”

Hear an Adoption Story That Was Meant-to-Be

Hear Silas and Dawn's adoption storyIf you’re waiting to adopt, you might find that you go through seasons of discouragement, and wonder if you’re still on the right track with your adoption. But ask any experienced adoptive parent and they’ll share that once they adopted, it just seems meant to be. The timing, the baby, the events that brought their adoption together…all of it meant to be.
 
Silas and Dawn, a Lifetime adoptive couple, are no exception. They had to pinch themselves that their calling to adopt was leading them to their baby boy, even up until the moment they were traveling to meet him. Silas and Dawn’s anxiety was for nothing since each detail of their son’s adoption story keeps showing them it was meant to be!

This adoptive couple just appeared on a Lifetime webinar and shared the story of how they became a family of five through adoption. Silas and Dawn’s adoption webinar also included an encouraging perspective through the wait, adoption travel tips, how to use social media when a birth mother wants a limited connection, and info about their experience with Lifetime. Silas and Dawn’s story will touch anyone hoping to adopt!

You can watch the webinar replay of Silas and Dawn’s meant-to-be open adoption story online today! Just visit AdoptionWebinar.com to watch “Meant to Be: Silas and Dawn’s Adoption Story.”

Here at Lifetime, we get to see a lot of “meant-to-be” adoption experiences like Silas and Dawn’s! While you’re waiting to be chosen by a birth mother, it can help to hear from others who recently walked where you are today.

Please call Lifetime at 1-800-923-6784 if we can help you or someone you care about get started on the path towards adoption.

Hear David & Deanna’s Inspiring Story in This Adoption Webinar!

David and Deanna with their baby girl; hear their adoption webinar!David and Deanna’s adoption story is sure to inspire you to keep the faith and remain dedicated during your adoption wait! Lifetime realizes that during your adoption wait, you’ll probably go through lots of highs and lows, and a mix of emotions.

At this time last year, Lifetime adoptive couple David and Deanna were anticipating to keep waiting. But then, we called them about a birth mother who was about to deliver a baby girl. This birth mother had chosen David and Deanna as her baby’s adoptive parents! In a special webinar, adoptive mom Deanna tells their adoption story to us.

The recording of this inspiring webinar is now available online. Read on and discover how you can access it!

There are features of David and Deanna’s story that you’ll connect with! Watching their adoption webinar is a good idea you’ve:

  • Been unsure whether open adoption is right for your family.
  • Asked yourselves “are we too old to adopt?” or “is it too late to adopt?”
  • Got children already, or are a blended family.
  • Been worrying if you can stand out to birth mothers.
  • Wondered how Lifetime’s help makes a difference in your adoption success.

Adoption webinars featuring stories from adoptive parents are a wonderful resource for anyone hoping to adopt. You’ll receive tips and answers from those who’ve recently been through the adoption process, get encouraged as you follow your own calling to adopt, and get info about how adoptions at Lifetime work!

Watch “Lifetime’s Adoption Webinar: David & Deanna’s Story” over at AdoptionWebinar.com.

To watch David & Deanna’s webinar, you’ll need to subscribe to AdoptionWebinar.com. Signing up is free, and it’ll give you access to watch any of our numerous webinar recordings. You’ll also be emailed info, dates, and times about our future webinars! You can subscribe using this link.

Join Us Next Tuesday to Hear Jeff & Christa’s Adoption Story

Jeff and Christa's adoption storyAre you hoping to start your family through infant adoption? Or maybe you already have children, but wish to complete your family through the blessing of adoption. A great way to learn more about adoption is by hearing an adoption story from those who have recently gone through the process.

Join us next Tuesday for a wonderful adoption story featuring Jeff and Christa, who just adopted their baby boy through Lifetime. “We’re looking forward to providing encouragement to couples who are thinking about adopting, or already on the journey to adopt a baby,” says adoptive mom Christa.

Just click on this link to sign up to reserve your space for next week’s webinar, which will begin at 8pm Eastern Time.

*Lifetime is holding this webinar at one time, LIVE across the U.S. Here’s when it’ll take place in the various time zones:

5pm Pacific Time
6pm Mountain Time
7pm Central Time
8pm Eastern Time

The link to sign up is: https://attendee.gotowebinar.com/register/7361657339367114499.

You can attend online, over the phone, or by using the GoToWebinar app from your mobile device. You can download the app for your iPhone or Android device. Once you sign up, we’ll email you the details and instructions for attending the webinar live. Hopeful adoptive families in any stage of their adoption planning and prep will benefit from hearing Jeff and Christa’s adoption story!

If you have questions about adopting, or on how to join this adoption webinar, please call us at 1-800-923-6784. Or, you can send us an email.

My Adoption Story as a Closed Adoption Adoptee

We had a chance to sit down with Lifetime Adoption Agency’s Adoptive Family Coordinator Natalie LaBelle recently. She was adopted at birth and grew up with a closed adoption plan. Today, she has both her adoptive family and birth family in her life. As an adoptee, she’s able to empathize with the many emotions that may come up for adoptive families, their adopted children, and also birth parents. “Nothing is more exciting than helping a match take place and witnessing prayers being answered!” she says. Natalie told us her adoption story and thoughts about open adoption with us, and we’d love to share them with you here:

“I grew up in a loving adoptive family, with a closed adoption, never having any contact with my birth mom or biological family nor knowing any of my medical history. Now, however, as an adult, I have had an adoption reunion meeting with almost all of my birth mom’s side. I truly have the best of both worlds.

I personally feel that open adoption is a major blessing to the child and the birth mom both equally, but for different reasons. I feel it is an emotionally healthy way for the child growing up to have some sense of where he/she came from, their origins, a picture or two to see who they look like, why they were adopted, and for medical history. Most of these questions for an adoptee are answered through open adoption for the most part. I think it may ease the loss and grief for the birth mom, which is emotionally healthier for her also. In my case, as a closed adoption adoptee, I had a constant wondering and not knowing that stayed with me every day and even on the best of days until I reconnected with my birth mom in 2013.

When my birth mother tried to contact me earlier in life, I ignored her because I didn’t want to hurt my parent’s feelings. But once I started communicating with my birth mom, as an adult, those questions disappeared. I stopped wondering about knowing who I was, wondering why or what happened, even though I had an amazing and loving adoptive family, the wondering was always there.

I always had to say ‘I don’t know’ to every single question about my medical history, which made me feel ‘less than’ because of the unintentional looks from the medical staff and this happened many times growing up and well into adulthood. These are small things to the average person but leaves an adoptee feeling different than everyone else when they already may feel different from their own family. It wasn’t until my thirties when I needed to know my medical history that I became open to meeting my biological family. But yet again, I didn’t respond, mostly out of denial or fear of hurting my adoptive family. Now, I’ve formed a close, loving relationship with my birth mom, brother and sister, and so I have a connection to my biology, and also to my adoptive family. I now feel complete and absolutely blessed to have two wonderful families who love me, as it was God’s plan all along to give a child this much love!”

Why I Put My Baby Up for Adoption: Kristina Shares Her Story

Kristina shares, "Here's why I put my baby up for adoption"After I got a positive pregnancy test, my mom and ex-boyfriend (who by the way wasn’t the baby’s father) told me I should put my baby up for adoption. I was completely stressed out but thought about adoption for a few months. Sooner or later, I came to accept the decision of adoption. Here’s why I put my baby up for adoption: if the biological dad was to be a part of my son’s life, he would have been exposed to drugs, guns, and other dangers, and I just couldn’t see putting my baby through all that.

At the time, my ex-boyfriend and I already were taking care of our five-year-old daughter. She asked me several times why we couldn’t keep the baby. I explained things to her in a way she’d understand, and was very open with her. She agreed, and I told her that open adoption meant we’d be in touch with his family, and we’d get to see him once in awhile.

At first, I was really upset at my ex-boyfriend and my mom for telling me I couldn’t keep my baby. But once I came to the same decision, I knew where they were coming from. My adoption coordinator never once judged me. She presented all my choices to me, and lots of resources. Adoption Agency Florida also gave me free counseling, and connected me with a woman who’d done adoption years ago for her daughter.

She also sent me about 20 adoptive family profiles that matched what I was looking for: a young Christian couple who already had kids. I wanted my son to grow up with siblings like I did, and be brought up in the Christian way. My daughter also looked through the profiles, and we chose the same couple! They were exactly what I was looking for!

When it was time for the adoptive couple to take the baby back to their hotel room, all of us were just crying. I knew this would be the most difficult thing I would ever do in life, but I also felt I owed it to my baby, my daughter, and myself. Sitting in my hospital bed, I lifted up my baby and said to the couple, “I don’t think I need to tell you to love her.”

I don’t regret my decision at all because I can’t give my son the life he deserves. It wasn’t his fault he was conceived, so why should he pay the price?

Paula’s Adoption Story

Adoption story from Paula

When you’re pregnant and thinking about adoption for your baby, it helps to hear from women who’ve been where you are now. Here’s Paula’s adoption story:

“One day I discovered I was pregnant and facing the most difficult decision of my life. My thoughts changed overnight with the realization of the life that grew inside of me. As my pregnancy progressed, I had to decide if my current situation was best for my child, or if there were ways to make my circumstances work out for a child. I thought the realities of single parenthood would not be fair to my child.

When I went to my next doctor’s appointment I saw a brochure about adoption in the waiting room. I began to see adoption as a way I could provide my daughter with parents who could raise her with every opportunity and stability I couldn’t offer yet. After many hours of prayer and soul-searching, I decided to make an adoption plan for my baby.

I took the time to research prospective families with Lifetime Adoption Center and found a family whom I truly loved. Finding them made me more sure about my decision. I wanted them involved in my pregnancy and I had chosen my baby’s adoptive mother to be my labor partner. She went to every doctor’s appointment with me and we would get breakfast afterward. During this time spent together we got to know one another very well and became good friends. I felt that it was important to spend the time and effort to get to know my child’s adoptive parents.

A few months later I delivered a beautiful, healthy baby girl. The time spent in the hospital was precious; together with my daughter’s parents, I was able to care for her. We spent two days in the hospital sharing with friends and family the beautiful life that I had created. It was a time of love and laughter. Emotions ran high in those few hours, but the one that was most present was LOVE!

After we parted and went home, I with my family and my daughter with hers, I knew that my daughter would loved and cared for in every way. I love my daughter with all my heart, and because of that love I was able to give her everything I had always wanted for her. I know that open adoption was the very best plan for my daughter, Alexandra.

Today I am able to share my story with others with the hope of educating as many people as possible about the benefits of open adoption. As a birth mother, I will never have to hide behind a veil of secrecy, and I will always know how my daughter is doing. I do wish I had been in a position to parent her myself, but I am so very excited for the life she will be able to lead due to open adoption. Each and every day I think of my daughter and know that she is loved, safe, and thriving in her family.

I can see from the photos and letters that her adoptive parents regularly send me that she is growing into a lovely young girl. The relationship that my daughter’s adoptive parents and I share is one I know will last a lifetime.”

Paula’s story can be found in the book So I Was Thinking About Adoption. Get yourself a copy (for FREE!) by visiting FreeAdoptionBook.com. If you have questions about doing adoption or if you’d like to explore it further, please call us at 1-877-383-6847.

Our Open Adoption Blessing

adam and tess_update 7_2015 FLWe love knowing how adoptive families and birth mothers continue their connection through open adoption! We enjoyed this update from new parents Adam and Tess:

“Here is our lil pumpkin!! Things are going well with her birth mother. She calls or texts once a month or so and we send her pictures… She has been very sweet with us and we are hoping she will come for our daughter’s first birthday party.”

If you’re thinking about open adoption, learn more and ask questions! Call to explore the possibilities: 1-800-923-6784. Or you can shoot us an email.