Are you having a difficult time during the adoption wait? Maintaining a positive attitude makes even the most challenging times easier to experience. Being positive doesn’t mean pretending that you have a perfect life, but rather about seeing the good in life and shifting how you perceive this time.
Research has shown that positive thinking can lead to success. Being positive isn’t a switch that can be turned on: like any skill it requires practice. Maintaining a positive attitude is crucial if you want to adopt.
Here are 8 ways you can boost your positivity:
- Think good thoughts. Negative thoughts can happen when you’re waiting to be chosen by a birth mother. When you experience one, take a moment to catch yourself. Identify the problem or emotion you’re feeling, then counter it with a positive thought.
- Be grateful. Spend time each day reminding yourself of everything good in your life. Write them down or share them with a loved one. For accountability, you might try doing a “30 Day Gratitude Challenge” with your spouse.
- Smile! Research has shown that smiles are contagious. Smile at a stranger, a co-worker, or a friend. They’ll smile back, leaving you both feeling more positive.
- Stay active. Exercise makes you feel better physically and mentally. Several times a week go for a walk, work on a project around the house, hit the gym, or play your favorite sport.
- Set goals. Having a goal can make you feel more hopeful and confident and give you something to strive for. Make your goal realistic and specific, and use positive words when writing or talking about it. For example, you might set a goal to have your adoption video recorded and edited within two weeks or to submit your home study paperwork within a week.
- Keep good company. The people you spend time with have a direct impact on how you feel. Seek out people who believe in you and your adoption dream. Spend time with family members, friends, co-workers, or acquaintances who think positive and inspire and motivate you to achieve your goals.
- Do things you love. Make time in your day to do something that makes you happy. Listen to music, read a book, catch up with a friend, or step outside and enjoy nature.
- Write in a journal. Jot down all the positive things that happen to you each day. Your journal entries can be just a few words or sentences. Pick a day each month to read through your journal and relive your positive experiences.
There are many sides to the adoption journey when you’re eagerly waiting to be chosen by a birth mother. Many adoptive couples go through the process joyfully, trying to be as patient and proactive as possible. Others struggle with feelings of jealousy and frustration, asking themselves, “Why did they adopt, but not us?”
“We have been reflecting on our journey a lot lately. On Mother’s Day I couldn’t think of anything I would rather do than to spend time with the woman who made me a mom! We met with Brynlee’s birth parents and visited the aquarium downtown! I love that we are in the same state because we can visit each other often. Brynlee loved seeing the fish and she soaked up all the hugs and play time.
When we were saying our, ‘see you later,’ they gave me flowers and I just about lost it! I was amazed at how strong and selfless this gesture was. I was so honored! I think about them and pray for them every single day! I pray they are safe and that they are content with the decision they made and this gave me the reassurance I have been needing. They are doing well and they know their daughter is cared for and loved so much!
The year has just flown by…we still can’t believe how much this little boy has overcome and accomplished. He is into everything, loves to belly laugh, and is best friends with Hannah. The first thing they do when waking up is to find each other and share hugs in the morning. She refers to him as her “little buddy Win-con.”
If you’re waiting to adopt, you might find that you go through seasons of discouragement, and wonder if you’re still on the right track with your adoption. But ask any experienced adoptive parent and they’ll share that once they adopted, it just seems meant to be. The timing, the baby, the events that brought their adoption together…all of it meant to be.
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Thanksgiving was such a special day for us. Looking over at Brynlee in her high chair at the dinner table was such a dream come true. We have so much to be thankful for, every day is Thanksgiving in our home!
