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Archive for baby’s father

“Can I Stop Her From Putting Our Baby Up for Adoption?”

A couple argues at the subway Question: “My girlfriend is pregnant and is thinking about adopting out our baby. I think she’s crazy for even considering it and I’m totally against adoption. It’s my baby too. Do I have any control over this? Can I stop her from putting our baby up for adoption?”
 
Answer: Yes, you do have a say in your child’s future. It’s not out of your control. As the baby’s father, you have the right to get answers to your questions. You also have the right to take part in the adoption planning process.
 
Lifetime encourages you to find out more about what’s called “open adoption.” It has been the right choice for many, especially those who aren’t ready to become parents. In an open adoption, both of you can work together to pick the adoptive parents for your baby. You can remain a part of your child’s life.
 
Here are some things to think about: are you giving your girlfriend any financial (or emotional) support during her pregnancy? These things will come into play when thinking about the adoption decision.
 
Also, you might ask yourself why she wants to do adoption. Many women choose adoption because they have other children and can’t afford another baby. Others make an adoption plan because having a baby would derail education or career goals. There are many reasons why women choose adoption.
 
Adoption is one of those decisions that you make based on what’s best for the child. Sometimes, the decision is made despite your own desires. She may long to become a mom, but realize that it just isn’t in the cards right now.
 
Talk more with your girlfriend about this. And when you do, don’t think about what you want. Think about the life you want your child to have. Looking at adoptive couple profiles online can sometimes help you picture the possibilities with adoption.
 

Here are some articles to help you learn more about birth fathers & adoption:

 
“I’m a Birth Father…Do I Have a Say in Adoption?”
 
What Should I Do If My Girlfriend is Choosing Adoption?”
 
What Are My Responsibilities as a Birth Father?
 
How to Get Your Baby’s Father Involved in Adoption
 
Birth Fathers and Adoption
 

If you like to speak to someone right now about adoption, call Lifetime at 1-800-923-6784.

“I’m a Birth Father…Do I Have a Say in Adoption?”

what are my rights as a birth father?Has your girlfriend just told you she’s pregnant and going to place your baby for adoption? Or maybe it’s your wife who wants to do adoption, after years of struggling to make ends meet. In any case, you might be wondering, “does the father have a say in adoption?”

The answer is definitely “yes”! Here at Lifetime, we encourage birth fathers to be a part of the adoption planning. The term “birth father” refers to a man whose baby or child is placed with an adoptive family. Today, we’re giving you info about your choices and rights in modern adoption!

We believe that it’s just as important for you to know your adoption rights as it is for her. Right now, your family might be pressuring you to “step up” and be a man, to fight the adoption.

Adoption Isn’t Giving Up

Lifetime has heard many men say they feel like adoption is a “cop-out.” They don’t want to admit any weakness, including the fact that they might not be able to provide for a child. These men say that they feel like adoption isn’t the best choice because it means they’re “giving up.”

People choose adoption not because they don’t love (or want) their child. Adoption is the choice they make because they love their child so much that they want to give him or her a bright future, something that they might not be able to provide at that point in their lives.

Adoption Isn’t Saying Goodbye

With open adoption, you’re able to remain a part of your child’s life and see them growing up. So, adoption definitely isn’t goodbye forever! Birth fathers are able to feel pride in the decision, and see the blessing that adoption is for their child. “Adoption was the best choice we could have made for our child…we were able to give our daughter a mom and a dad who are excited to provide her with everything she needs and wants,” says one birth father. By playing an active role in the adoption plan, many birth fathers have shared that they are glad they put their child’s needs above theirs.

Learning Your Rights

As a birth father, you have the same rights that the birth mother does. You can fully participate in the adoption at whatever level you want to. Just like your baby’s mother can, you’re able to interview adoptive couples and ask them questions. What kinds of questions?
You could ask about their parenting style, jobs, family structure, lifestyle, and even about their hobbies. You’re able to interview several adoptive families and meet with them, too.

Birth fathers have rights, too. Each state has their own laws and requirements about your responsibilities and rights. So it’s best to speak with an attorney who specializes in adoption law if you have questions.

Lifetime recognizes that the adoption decision can be as difficult for you as it is for your baby’s birth mother.

To talk with an Adoption Coordinator about an adoption plan for your child, just call Lifetime at 1-800-923-6784.

How to Get Your Baby’s Father Involved in Adoption

Have you decided that adoption is going to be your best option, but your baby’s father doesn’t agree? What can you do? Know that you’re not alone; this is a very common situation. Check out a short video that shares more about adoption and your baby’s father:

Getting your baby's father involved in the adoption? from Lifetime Adoption on Vimeo.

Thousands of women have been where you are right now. We recommend that you sit down with your baby’s father to get him involved in the adoption choice. It’s his baby too, and he has rights in adoption. You could allow him to be involved in picking the adoptive family for your baby. You can make what’s called an “open adoption” plan, which means you’ll get updates on your baby as he or she grows up, through emails, letters, photos, and visits. If he desires, your baby’s father could stay in touch with the adoptive couple, separate from you.

Right now, it’s important that he knows and understands he has rights as the birth father. Once he’s educated on the info and facts about the adoption process, he will probably come to see that it’s the best possible scenario for his child.

Both of you need to make sure you’re putting your baby’s life first and thinking about what’s going to be best for them. So, come together to talk so that you can make the best choice for your child.

It’s tough for a man to accept that can’t provide for his child. Speak with him and tell him your hopes for your child, and ask him what his are too. Tell him that he can help choose the adoptive family and remain in contact with them. You both can have a relationship with your child and the adoptive parents, even you two aren’t together. It may change his mind about adoption once he knows that it doesn’t mean goodbye forever.

Lifetime Adoption Agency Florida is here 24/7 to answer any questions that either of you have about adoption for your baby. Just call or text us at 1-800-923-6784, or send us a confidential email.

Thinking About Adoption-What About My Baby’s Father?

Baby's father thinking about adoptionQuestion: “I’ve been thinking about adopting out my baby ever since I was about 3 months along. But what about my baby’s father? Should he get involved?”

Answer: If he’s in your life, your baby’s father can be involved in the adoption if he’s interested. He can help choose the adoptive parents and have ongoing contact, like you, if he wishes.

We’ve worked with many birth fathers who’ve been active in the adoption plan for their child. One birth father has shared with us, “I’m so happy that I was able to put my child’s needs above my own.”

If your baby’s father isn’t around, or if he’s incarcerated or unsafe, an attorney will help you understand the legal steps needed in regards to his parental rights. Every situation is different and you can get free legal advice.

Adoption Agency Florida has found that some birth fathers say no to adoption because of pride. They say “no child of mine will be adopted out” because they won’t admit to themselves that it might be the best choice. The reality is that it takes a strong man to recognize that he’s not able to provide for a child right now, and to agree to the adoption.

As you look at adoption, you’ll probably have lots of questions. Adoption Agency Florida is here to help you find the answers you need. You can get the answers you need by calling us at 1-877-383-6847. Or, if you’re not comfortable talking on the phone, please send us an email.

If you’re ready to start your adoption plan, you can do so by giving us some info on this page: Start an Adoption Plan.

Adoption Agency Florida is here to help you; any info you give us is kept totally private and confidential.