Question: “My girlfriend is pregnant and is thinking about adopting out our baby. I think she’s crazy for even considering it and I’m totally against adoption. It’s my baby too. Do I have any control over this? Can I stop her from putting our baby up for adoption?”
Answer: Yes, you do have a say in your child’s future. It’s not out of your control. As the baby’s father, you have the right to get answers to your questions. You also have the right to take part in the adoption planning process.
Lifetime encourages you to find out more about what’s called “open adoption.” It has been the right choice for many, especially those who aren’t ready to become parents. In an open adoption, both of you can work together to pick the adoptive parents for your baby. You can remain a part of your child’s life.
Here are some things to think about: are you giving your girlfriend any financial (or emotional) support during her pregnancy? These things will come into play when thinking about the adoption decision.
Also, you might ask yourself why she wants to do adoption. Many women choose adoption because they have other children and can’t afford another baby. Others make an adoption plan because having a baby would derail education or career goals. There are many reasons why women choose adoption.
Adoption is one of those decisions that you make based on what’s best for the child. Sometimes, the decision is made despite your own desires. She may long to become a mom, but realize that it just isn’t in the cards right now.
Talk more with your girlfriend about this. And when you do, don’t think about what you want. Think about the life you want your child to have. Looking at adoptive couple profiles online can sometimes help you picture the possibilities with adoption.
Here are some articles to help you learn more about birth fathers & adoption:
“I’m a Birth Father…Do I Have a Say in Adoption?”
What Should I Do If My Girlfriend is Choosing Adoption?”
What Are My Responsibilities as a Birth Father?
How to Get Your Baby’s Father Involved in Adoption
Birth Fathers and Adoption