If you’re pregnant and making an adoption plan for your baby, it’s great to have a reliable support system. However, some women don’t have any support to lean on throughout their adoption process. Some pregnant women ask “can I hide my adoption plans?”
Adoption is such a personal decision, and one that’s not easy to make. It’s important to know that you shouldn’t hide your plans of adoption from your baby’s father. After all, he’s this child’s parent too. If you’re uncomfortable telling him or if you’re scared for your safety, Lifetime can help you share the news with him. Or, we can contact an adoption attorney who can give suggestions on how to proceed.
Today, Lifetime is sharing info about confidential adoptions.
What’s a Confidential Adoption?
In a confidential, closed adoption, the birth mother chooses to keep her identity private. In a closed adoption, she has no contact with the adoptive family during or after the adoption process.
Some women who have wished to keep their adoption plans hidden from certain friends or relatives have created a closed adoption to help them keep their privacy. Even though most modern adoptions today are open or semi-open, you can still choose a closed adoption. But closed adoption does come with challenges. Your child may grow up not knowing your identity, and without a way to contact you in the future.
Hiding Your Pregnancy and Choosing Confidential Adoption
Some women can hide their growing bellies easier than others. They wear certain clothing or avoid people they don’t want to know the news. Keeping your pregnancy hidden might be difficult, but it can be done. Women may choose make a confidential adoption plan to:
- Avoid a verbally or physically abusive relationship
- Find support from family members or friends in another location
- Hide their adoption plan from specific family members or friends, for various reasons.
In some situations, there are advantages to a confidential adoption. For women in an abusive situation, keeping adoption confidential may be important to protect both her and her baby. In other situations, women can avoid conflict with unsupportive friends or family members.
Disadvantages to Closed Adoptions
It’s important to know what the challenges are with a closed adoption before you consider this option. If you hide your pregnancy, you might have a difficult time getting the services you need, like prenatal care and adoption counseling. Plus, if you hide the fact that you’re making an adoption plan from your baby’s father, it can prevent the adoption from happening.
If you keep your adoption under wraps from your friends and family members, you’d miss out on their support during (and after) the adoption placement. Keeping such a significant life decision a secret in the long-term can be very emotionally challenging. It can make it more difficult to process emotions of grief and loss after placement. Because of these reasons, Lifetime recommends a closed adoption only if it is necessary for the safety of yourself and your child.
Why Should I Share My News?
Even though it might seem impossible now, telling just a few select friends or family members about your adoption plan may actually be a comfort to you. You may be surprised to find that they’re genuinely supportive of your confidential adoption plan, not disappointed in you.
But not everyone feels comfortable sharing the news of their pregnancy and adoption plans. If this sounds like your situation, we can help you learn how to best share about your pregnancy.
If you’re pregnant and thinking about a confidential adoption plan for your baby, know that Lifetime respects your privacy. We’ll provide all of the services, support, and guidance you need while keeping your adoption plan confidential.