Archive for modern adoption

“You are one of the bravest and strongest women I’ve ever met!”

Author’s Letter to Daughter’s Birth Mother

The author Melissa Radke with her familyMelissa Radke’s book, Eat Cake. Be Brave., is a personal testimony of courage, faith, and accepting one’s strengths and unique path in life. It includes topics that are near and dear to us, including infertility, miscarriage, and adoption.
We were moved to read Radke’s warm letter to her daughter’s birth mother in Chapter 19 of the book, titled “Dear Miss Danielle.” We think that this real-life story of modern adoption will speak to so many of you. Plus, you’ll enjoy her great sense of humor and conversational tone. Reading Radke’s story is like hearing it firsthand from a good friend!
If you’re raising a child through adoption, you may identify with the difficult emotions each side of adoption faces as they join for a match. If you’re a hopeful adoptive parent, her story might make you eagerly anticipate the love that you’ll have for the birth mother who selects you to adopt her baby. Radke found just the right words to tell her daughter’s birth mother how much she means to their family, how much she admires her brave love. You might be a birth mother reading this, and feel reassured that some of the brightest things about your child will remind his or her adoptive parents of you, and that you’re not forgotten.
Because of open adoption, a child grows up knowing that he or she inherits good elements from both sides of her story.
We’re honored to share Radke’s letter to her daughter’s birth mother, an excerpt from Eat Cake. Be Brave., with permission from Melissa and David Radke.

♥ ♥ ♥

Hi, Miss Danielle! How are you? We were talking about you the other day; like she does sometimes, Remi brought you up and began asking questions about you. I love it when she does that. I love telling her all I know about you. She listens to every word, I can tell. She is holding those things close to her heart.

Last weekend Remi played a softball game and pitched for the very first time. Danielle, do you know much about softball? Everyone gets real quiet and judgy. As worried as she was that she wouldn’t do a good job, I was worried that someone would yell at my kid and I’d end up throwing my pickle at their head. Yes, I’m that mom. I doubt you are surprised.

The starting pitcher was getting tired and they brought in Remi to relieve her. Now—and this is where things get real—I’d love to tell you how awesome she is, but I’d be lying. And that’s why I’m writing you today.

Danielle, I’ve never told Remi—or anyone for that matter—what happened the night before you went in to the hospital for delivery. Do you remember? Do you remember that I took you to get a pedicure and do you remember what happened? A woman, in the pedicure chair a few down from us asked you when you were due and you said the baby was coming tomorrow. She asked what you were going to name her and you referred to me. Politely, graciously, kindly you said, “I’ll let her tell you since she’s naming her.” I have never forgotten what happened next. This woman, this random voice fueled with anger and venom, proceeded to scream at you for the decision you were making. She—in one minute—brought us both to tears.

She testified to her unflinching ability to raise her kids on her own with no one’s help.

She praised herself for needing no one.

She screamed at you to “grow up” and “do the same.” She mocked my inability to be a mother and having to resort to “buying one.” I’m not sure who grabbed who’s hand first, me or you. But together we walked out, got in to my car. And sat there.

I wouldn’t have known what to say back then.

But I do, now. It took me some time but I’m more sure than ever. But first, let’s go back to my story…

It was the last inning when Remi’s daddy—aka the Coach—made his way to the mound (yes, he’s one of those dads). She had already struck out one little girl and we needed another one just like that. He went and had a few words with her. She smiled, he smiled, and that was that.

In case you were wondering how the game ended up, she threw two more strikes and 417 more balls. So, we’re not holding our breath for any softball scholarships at this point.

Also, I threw my pickle.

I asked him later what he said to her. I’m telling you because my hope is that were your mind to ever lean toward that nail salon—were it to ever give a moment’s credence to that freakin’ idiot, were your heart to feel heavy—that you will read and re-read these words a thousand times.

Radke's husband and daughter on the softball field“Hi, baby, how you are doing?”


“Actually, I think you’re doing amazing.”

“You do? Have you been watching the same game?”

“I have. I’ve watched every second. I think you’re doing great. This is your first time, you know.”

“But Daddy, I’ve had lessons…Six!”

“Some people have to have lots of lessons before they can even get it over the plate. Are you sure you’ve only had six?”

“Stop it, Daddy, you know I have.”

“But you’re getting it over the plate. So how do you explain that? You’re doing amazing, Remi.”

“Thank you, Dad.”

“Also, I’m really proud of you. Because I know you’re a little bit nervous…”

“Yes, Sir…and I kinda want to go home.”

“I know you do. Everybody is looking at you. Counting on you. That’s hard! But, Remi, you know what else? You’re fierce. You are one of the strongest, bravest girls I’ve ever known. You know where you get that from?”

(And here’s the part you’ll love.)

“Miss Danielle?”

“That’s right. You absolutely get it from Miss Danielle and I love that about you. Remi Hope, if you walk every single batter that comes up to the plate, I am still going home with the most confident kiddo on this field and I could not be prouder. So, don’t stop now, baby.”


And she didn’t stop.

She never does.

Danielle, on the day I walked out of your hospital room, I turned to you and promised you that in our home from that moment forward until forever you would be regarded as a hero.

Because you looked hard in the face and did it anyway.

Miss Danielle, I’m not sure what your childhood looked like or if you ever even played a sport. But if no one ever ran out to the mound, looked you in the eye, and told you how fierce you were, allow me to do it now: You are one of the bravest and strongest women I’ve ever met and even if you walk a million more batters I’m still holding in my arms the most incredible thing you’ve ever knocked out of the park and I cannot thank you enough.

Remi was right that day. She did remind us of you. Because when we talk about hard things, we talk about you. Miss Danielle, you are the example we give to keep doing what we don’t think we can ever do.

All our love.

♥ ♥ ♥

You can follow author Melissa Radke on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter, and buy her latest release on Amazon.

Discover how modern adoption could become a part of your family’s story, by contacting Lifetime or applying today.

a letter to daughters birth mother #adoption #birthmother #adopt #hopingtoadopt #melissaradke
a letter to daughters birth mother #adoption #birthmother #adopt #hopingtoadopt #melissaradke

How to Bring Truth to These 4 Common Adoption Myths

Join Lifetime as we shed light on 4 common adoption myths!“Wow, I thought adoption was super-expensive, how did you afford it?”

“Aren’t you worried that her birth mother will come to take her back?”

“Don’t you want a baby of your own?”

Upon telling your family and friends you’re adopting, you may have gotten asked questions like these, followed by looks of concern. Even though they just want what’s best for you, ignorant questions like these prove that they don’t fully understand how modern adoption works.

In movies and TV shows, we often see an inaccurate picture of adoption, one that’s full of drama. As a result, many are led to believe the adoption stories they watch in the media are typical of real-life adoptions.

Lifetime encourages you to educate family and friends with the truth to these 4 commonly-believed adoption myths:

1. “You have to be rich if you want to adopt.”

While adoption can be expensive, it doesn’t mean that wealthy celebrities are the most common adoptive parents. Most adoptive families are ordinary, middle-class people.

Adoption costs vary, with international adoption being the most expensive. So, there’s a type of adoption to meet every budget. For those who pursue domestic adoption, the adoption tax credit can compensate for most of your expenses. Every hopeful adoptive parent’s situation is different, so it’s a matter of determining the type of adoption that works best for you. Many adoptive couples budget, fundraise, and save in order to afford adoption, and there’s also the adoption tax credit, which helps defray adoption costs.

2. “The birth parents can just come by and reclaim their child!”

In reality, after the adoption is final, birth parents aren’t able to reclaim their child. Up to the point that they sign papers relinquishing their parental rights, which can be 24 hours or longer depending on their state laws, they can change their minds.

But this is no longer the case once the adoption is final. At that point the adoption becomes final, you are the child’s legal parents. You may have heard adoptive families called “forever families,” and that’s because adoption truly is forever.

3. “Most birth mothers are irresponsible teenagers.”

The truth is that birth mothers are a variety of ages within range of childbearing years. We have helped birth mothers anywhere from their teens up to their forties, but most birth mothers we support are in their twenties and thirties. Rather than focus on birth mothers’ age and situation, we encourage you to share that birth mothers are women who make a decision so their baby can have opportunities they are unable to provide.

4. “It’s hard to develop a relationship with a child you’re not biologically related to.”

Adoptive parents, like biological parents, develop a deep and lasting bond with their child. If you ask any adoptive parent, they’ll tell you that there’s no difference in the love they have for a biological or an adopted child. The child they adopted is their “own,” despite the fact they didn’t give birth. Love, not biology, is what creates a family!

Get 6 Tips on How to Support Your Loved One’s Adoption

Discover how to support your loved one's adoption journey!Today’s post is meant to help your friends and family better understand how adoption works today. If they want to participate in your adoption experience, this information can help serve as a starting point for meaningful conversations about how your adoption will affect everyone.

Please feel free to share this post with those close to you!

When someone you care about is hoping to adopt, you become a member of their adoption circle. As a member of their adoption circle, you’ll need information and insights about adoption. Whether you’re excited or anxious, experienced or unfamiliar with adoption, this info is useful for anyone touched by adoption. Lifetime hopes to help as you participate in their lives as an adoptive family!

Here are 6 ideas to support your loved one’s adoption journey:

1. Learn about modern adoption
Let them know that you want to learn more about domestic infant adoption. It’s helpful to know is that adoptions today are done so differently than they were 50 years ago, and drastically different than Foster to Adopt situations. Modern adoption is much more open, with the birth mother choosing the adoptive parents for her baby, and staying in contact as their child grows up.

2. Encourage them to see your point-of-view
Remind them that adoption was once new to them, as well. If you seem awkward as you talk about adoption or adoption terms, it’s because this is totally new to you.

3. Take risks
Part of being supportive and involved in their adoption will include asking questions and talking about adoption. If you’re not sure how to best discuss adoption, ask.

Don’t be worried if you accidentally say what might be seen as the “wrong” thing. Everyone, and that includes adoptive parents, says the wrong things about adoption inadvertently. Share that your questions come from a genuine and heartfelt place of interest.

adoptive father explains modern adoption4. Understand that sometimes, they might be sensitive about adoption and their child.
Sometimes, adoption is a touchy topic for the adoptive parents. We find this to be true if they’re still becoming comfortable with adoption themselves, or when they’re waiting to be chosen by a birth mother.

5. Apologize if needed
Do you feel like you’ve made mistakes in the past or said things you regret? Think about making an apology if it’s warranted. Tell them that you’re trying to learn more about adoption, then forgive yourself and move on.

6. Be open to learning and growing.
It’s normal to feel lost when you begin to learn about domestic adoption. So, keep an open mind and be willing to expand your knowledge as you support your loved one’s adoption journey.

When someone you care about is offering you the opportunity to participate in their adoption, it’s a beautiful thing. Maybe they’re even including you in their adoption process, for example by asking you to write a reference letter or appear in a photo for their adoption profile. It’s wonderful to get to share in the experience of your loved ones who are adopting!

Adopting a Baby in Today’s World

Webinar to learn about adopting a baby in today's worldWhat have you heard about how domestic adoption works nowadays? It’s easy to get caught up in the opinions and comments of others who think they know what adopting a baby is like or how it should go.
The truth is, adoption has changed a lot, even from just five years ago. It’s important to know what adopting a baby in the U.S. is like TODAY.
Lifetime just held a Q&A webinar about domestic adoption in today’s world! You can listen to “A Lifetime Q&A: Adopting a Baby | Domestic Adoption in Today’s World” here. Most people who want to adopt a baby aren’t totally clear on the process when they decide to pursue adoption. That’s where we come in!
Click to listen to this adoption webinar!We’re excited to present this new webinar, to help you cut through the stereotypes and hear-say. Get the info you need to know to adopt the baby you’re praying for.
If you’ve been thinking about starting the process to adopt a baby born in the US, then you’ll want to listen to this webinar all about domestic adoption!
In Lifetime’s Q&A webinar, we took questions from people considering domestic adoption, just like you. We covered topics from adoption basics, like getting started and what open adoption really looks like today, to beyond-the-basics, such as when (and how!) to tell your child about adoption, embracing adoption after going through infertility, and the best tips for ensuring a safe and successful adoption process.

A Lifetime Q&A Webinar: Adopting a Baby in Today’s World

When you subscribe to Lifetime’s Adoption Webinars, we’ll email you to let you know once our next webinar is scheduled. Sign up for the opportunity to ask our adoption experts your questions. We love to take questions from our audience of future adoptive parents, just like you!

Thinking About Adoption When You Already Have Kids

I'm thinking about do I tell my kids?!If you’re pregnant and already parenting, you’re not alone. Lifetime has helped many women who are already parenting, and thinking about adoption for the baby they’re pregnant with.

Maybe you’re struggling to make ends meet, or you’re in a rocky relationship. Whatever your situation is, Lifetime Adoption Agency is here to help you.

Questions From Your Children

One of your biggest concerns right now might be how you should explain this situation to your kids. We encourage you to be honest with your children. You might tell that the baby will live with another family but that their place in the home is not at risk.

If your child is still a toddler, they might not realize that anything significant is happening. If this is the case, explaining the situation too much would just confuse them. In these instances, the best choice may be to avoid talking about the baby unless they ask. If they do, simple answers will usually satisfy their curiosity.

What About What People Will Think?

Your co-workers, neighbors, and friends will probably want to talk about your soon-to-be-born baby. They might assume that your pregnancy was planned and you’re excited to expand your family. So, you might be worried about any negative reactions to your adoption plans.

No one answer is going to satisfy everyone. The best way for you to handle people’s reactions is to get confident in your decision and remember why you started thinking about adoption.

With open adoption, you’re able to stay in your child’s life if you want to. You have the right to choose how much contact you’d like after the adoption. Your child is going to live a great life with the adoptive couple. It can help to keep this in mind if you get backlash from people who don’t know a lot about adoption.

How to Get Support

Lifetime can connect you with counseling services and emotional support, at no charge to you. You can also chat with another woman who’s been in your shoes and chose adoption. Hearing their stories and advice can help give you the reassurance that you need right now. Family therapy can give older children in the home the opportunity to discuss their own emotions and feel more secure.

At Lifetime Adoption Agency, we’re here to answer your questions and help you find the resources you need!

Just give us a call at 1-800-923-6784.

With Modern Adoption, You Make the Choices

A woman learning about modern adoption on her cell phoneAdoption today means that you make all the choices. And modern adoption gives you tons of choices! You can choose the adoptive parents for your baby, how much you want to get to know the parents you choose, and what happens at the hospital when you give birth. If you want, you can even keep in touch after the adoption happens. You can do this through phone calls, emails, texts, letters, social media, and visits. You have a say in every step!

We provide you with the trusted adoption help you need, the way you want it. Learning about adoption is easy, private, and convenient with Lifetime! Get answers to your questions, see waiting adoptive couples, and receive free resources! With Lifetime, you have a wide variety of adoptive families of all backgrounds to choose from, living all throughout the US.

Lifetime offers a FREE BOOK for women thinking about adoption. Just visit And in our smartphone app, you can listen to stories from other mothers who chose adoption.

You can get peer support, counseling, and help with your needs or pregnancy-related expenses as you consider an adoption plan for your baby. While you learn about adoption, you will receive free services and full support, as well as during and after the adoption.

On the new site, you can learn about adoption from the privacy of your phone or laptop. Chat on the website, or message (with a real person!) on our Facebook page or on Instagram.

You can confidentially and safely begin your adoption plan online, by email, or by mail. Just let us know what’s best for you!

Call or text a caring adoption expert ANYTIME at 1-800-923-6784.

Is Adoption the Right Choice for You?

Is adoption is the right choice for you after seeing a positive pregnancy test?Wondering if adoption is the right choice for you and for your baby? Maybe you’ve tried to parent for a few months and have been struggling big time. Or you could be dealing with a positive pregnancy test and are looking for another answer besides abortion.

We’re not here to judge, or to tell you that adoption is a simple decision to make. Today, we’re hoping to give you some info to help you decide if adoption is the right answer for you.

How Open Adoption Works:

  • You can pick your baby’s adoptive family based on your desires
  • You have the opportunity to receive no-cost counseling, from a licensed third-party therapist to help you work through your emotions during this whole process
  • You’re able to interview adoptive parents, meet them in person, and establish a relationship
  • It’s your right to create a birth plan and hospital plan that works for you
  • After the adoption, you can stay in touch with the adoptive family through letters, emails, photos, and visits if you wish
  • You can request financial assistance for pregnancy-related expenses

Peer Counseling from Birth Mothers

Lifetime has licensed counselors, experienced birth mothers, and adoption coordinators to help guide you through the process. Birth mothers who have made an adoption plan for their child through Lifetime are available for you to speak with. This can really help as you’re deciding whether adoption is the right choice for you because these birth mothers have been in your shoes! They’ll be real with you about what you might be feeling and going through because they’ve been there too.

Is Adoption the Right Choice for Me?

We're all about educating you so that you can make the best choice for you and your baby!Adoption isn’t the answer for everyone, but it may be the right choice for you. We’re all about educating you so that you can make the best choice for you and your baby. If you want to learn more about open adoption, check out these links:

“How do I know my baby is going into a good home?”

Is Adoption Right for You?…There’s an App for That!

How To Get The Counseling You Need During Your Adoption Planning

3 Common Fears About Choosing Adoption for Your Baby

This National Adoption Hotline Helps You Get Answers, Privately

How to Talk About Adoption With Your Baby’s Father

At our adoption agency in Florida, we’ll work with you throughout your entire adoption process and afterward too. Lifetime is here for you every step of the way. As you create an adoption plan for your baby, you can count on Adoption Agency Florida to:

We want you to know all the choices available to you. You’re in charge of your adoption plan and have the right to ask as many questions as you need to. We will guide you through the process. Our warm and caring staff is always available to speak with you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Reach out to Lifetime’s Adoption Agency anytime you’re ready. We’re happy to talk with you privately any time at 1-800-923-6784.

Is Adoption Right for You?…There’s an App for That!

there's an app for adoption!It seems like there’s an app for everything these days. And it’s no different for learning about the choice of adoption! “Open Adoption” is a new app that can really help you when you’re wondering if adoption is the right choice for you and your baby.

This smartphone app (which is totally free, by the way!) tells you what’s involved with making an adoption plan for your baby. And, you can read answers to questions that women frequently ask about adoption. Plus, you can browse hopeful adoptive parents, see their photos, and learn what they’re all about.

If you’ve just started thinking about adoption, you might not be ready to share this news to everyone right now. That’s totally normal. A smart way to look into adoption confidentially is by downloading this app, “Open Adoption.” Just go to to get more info and get your free download. The website Adoption Option App provides links to download “Open Adoption” for either an Apple or Google phone.

No matter what your reason is for thinking about adoption, know that you’re not alone. Thousands of women create open adoption plans each year. And with modern adoption, you’re encouraged to take the driver’s seat in every step of the process. You can pick the adoptive parents for your child, name how things will go at the hospital, and decide the amount of contact you’d like in the future.

In the Open Adoption app, you’ll find:

  • Bios, videos, and photos of hopeful adoptive couples
  • A short e-book about adoption
  • Popular questions about open adoption, and the answers
  • A breakdown of how modern open adoption works
  • Tips that you can use when you’re deciding if adoption’s for you
  • Resources and services that you might need

    Best of all, the app “Open Adoption” is FREE and packed with info about modern adoption! Visit to get your free download.

    Click to download the app, Open Adoption

Get Adoption Guidance from the Experts at Lifetime’s Q&A Webinar

Adoption Q&A webinar on Thursday!Do you have questions about domestic, interstate infant adoption? Then we encourage you to mark your calendar and come to our adoption webinar on Thursday! Lifetime’s experienced adoption experts will be hosting a live Adoption Q&A Webinar.

It begins at 6:00 pm Eastern time on Thursday, February 22nd. At this webinar, you’ll be able to get answers to the questions on your mind and learn from other’s questions too.

Thursday’s webinar is available to you free of charge, and it’s open to all hopeful adoptive parents! Maybe you’re just starting to consider adopting. Or you could be in the adoption wait. No matter where you’re at in your adoption journey, this webinar can help you.

Lifetime’s adoption experts will cover a collection of topics that are helpful any hopeful adoptive parent. They’ll also answer your questions right there, on the spot! So if you’ve had questions about adoption, make sure to bring them to this Q&A adoption webinar. You can sign up using this link, and then set yourself a reminder to join in live. They’ll cover a lot during this webinar, so you may want to take notes!

The Adoption Q&A webinar begins at:
3:00 pm Pacific
4:00 Mountain time
5:00 Central time
6:00 Eastern time

It’ll be 60 minutes well-spent learning all you can about domestic infant adoption!

Sign up using this link or by going to Once you register, you’ll get an email with the details for the live broadcast. You’re able to listen in by phone or participate on a computer or mobile device using your web browser or the GoToWebinar app. Just download this app on your smart phone so that you can listen in to this adoption webinar from anywhere you are!

Hope to see you all there! If you have any questions, just call Lifetime at 1-800-923-6784.

Touching Video from a Birth Mom to Her Baby Has Gone Viral!

Birth mother Hannah holds her newborn sonIn a heartfelt video that’s now viral, a birth mother tells her newborn born son that she’ll always love him.

Both People Magazine and The Today Show have featured this story, all about a loving birth mother with a loving message for her baby. “I thought I would make this video for you instead of writing a letter because it’s real and it’s in the moment,” birth mother Hannah says tearily in the video.

Hannah’s video is a lovely reminder of your birth mother’s love for her child. This love may also include you, the parents she chose for her baby. “His adoptive mom Emily is honestly everything I want to be as a person and a mother. I am so grateful that [my son] led me to her and their family. They are a blessing…” Hannah shares.

Your child will really appreciate having a video like this! Many adopted children grow up wondering about their birth family, and why they chose adoption. By taping a video like this, your child is provided with answers to many of their questions. As Hannah words it, “He will never have to think that I ‘gave him up’ or that I did not love him. He will always be able to know that I loved him more than anyone else in this world!”

Here’s birth mom Hannah’s full video:

“I made this video so that you know how much I love you,” Hannah says in the clip. “I made this decision completely out of love, and if I didn’t love you I wouldn’t of been in this position at all, and you wouldn’t have this awesome adoptive family. I fell in love with them, and they were beyond anything I could have asked for, and I have really really high standards for anyone who is going to raise my child.”

At the hospital, Hannah allowed the adoptive parents she chose to be present for some of her labor. After delivery, Hannah asked to have some time alone with her son. We were reminded of the saying in adoption: “you can’t say goodbye until you say hello.” Remember, if your birth mother requests time alone with her baby, it doesn’t mean she’s having second thoughts. It means that she loves her baby very much, and wants the best for him or her.

Today, Hannah has an open adoption with the adoptive couple she chose, Brad and Emily. They’ve shared that it’s important for them that all three of their sons have open adoptions. “Having our boys’ birth mothers so involved in their lives means they will never have to wonder if their birth moms loved them, they will never have to feel abandoned,” says adoptive mother, Emily. “They are all wonderful mothers and will always be our boys’ first mothers.