Many people don’t understand how adoption actually works today unless the adoption process has directly touched them, so they believe adoption myths. Adoption has changed a lot in the last 50 years, but, unfortunately, many people don’t realize modern adoption looks very different.
With modern, open adoption, you can choose your baby’s adoptive parents, decide how things go at the hospital, and keep in touch with your child and their adoptive parents. If you’re considering adoption, we want to explain what’s fact and what’s fiction.
Today, we’re sharing the truth to 5 adoption myths about choosing adoption for your baby. Read on as we debunk 5 common adoption myths and break down the facts.
1. Adoption is selfish
This is one of the biggest adoption myths out there! Actually, adoption is about the least selfish choice that you can make for your child. Placing a baby for adoption isn’t easy; it’s a life-changing decision that often causes grief. Yet, birth mothers make an adoption plan because they want to give their children a better life, filled with opportunities. And often, because they want to make the adoptive parents happy, too.
Choosing adoption doesn’t mean you don’t love your baby. It means the opposite: you love them so much that you want them to have the life they deserve, despite the pain it may cause you. When you don’t have the needed resources to care for a baby or aren’t ready to become a parent, choosing adoption for your baby is the most selfless thing you can do.
2. I’ll be giving my baby away to strangers
With a modern, open adoption, you have the power to choose your baby’s adoptive parents. You can also talk with the adoptive parents to get to know them better and ask them questions. By asking them questions directly, you’re able to get the complete picture of the adoptive couple as potential parents for your baby.
Lifetime Adoption works with hopeful adoptive parents across the US, from a wide variety of ethnicities, religions, and backgrounds. So, you’re able to choose a family who would raise your baby exactly the way that you wish. You also have the right to decide how much future contact with your child and family you would like, whether it’s emails, letters, photos, or even visits.
3. I can’t do adoption without my parent’s approval
Some parents don’t understand modern adoption and how it works, so they might get angry and try to change your mind. The truth to this adoption myth is that no matter how young you are, no one can force you to a pregnancy choice, whether it’s parenting, adoption, or abortion.
Even if you are a minor, you have the right to place your baby for adoption. The laws vary from state to state, but most states will leave it to the minor to make the call. That means that minors in most states do not require permission from their parents.
So, the law is on your side, and your parents typically don’t have rights to your baby. If your parents aren’t supportive, you might try writing your adoption plan down so they can see you’ve put a lot of thought into this.
4. If I use drugs or alcohol, no one will want to adopt my baby
Whatever your situation is, there are adoptive families ready to provide your baby with a loving home. Lifetime is here to support you make an adoption plan, even if your baby has been exposed to drugs or alcohol. You must be honest with us about any tobacco, drug, or alcohol use during your pregnancy because you and your child deserve the best possible care.
If you’re using drugs near your due date, your baby may test positive for drugs at birth. In these cases, the hospital must notify Child Protective Services, and they may place your baby in the foster care system.
But by having an adoption plan in place, you’re able to choose where your baby will go and the level of contact you want to have with your child as they grow up. So, if you think your baby may test positive for drugs at birth, call or text us at 1-800-923-6784 for help and info.
5. It’s too late to do adoption because my baby is almost a year old.
It is never too late to choose adoption, and you can begin at any time. Maybe you’d thought about adoption and put it on hold. You can still go forward at any time.
Even if you’ve been trying to make parenting work and are struggling, it’s not too late. You’re never making a bad choice for your child by loving them enough to give them the life you know they deserve when you know you can’t provide it.
Lifetime is Here for You
Lifetime Adoption has over 30 years of experience helping women who are thinking about adoption. Our staff is available any time, day or night, to provide information on adoption and the services we provide to birth mothers.
You can contact Lifetime by:
- Calling or texting our 24-Hour Hotline at 1-800-923-6784
- Starting an adoption plan by filling out an informational questionnaire
- Learning more about how the adoption process works and then emailing Lifetime your questions
Lifetime Adoption is here for you, with the help you want, when you need it, anytime 24/7.
As the Chief Operating Officer (COO) of Lifetime Adoption, Heather Featherston holds an MBA and is passionate about working with those facing adoption, pregnancy, and parenting issues. Heather has conducted training for birth parent advocates, spoken to professional groups, and has appeared on television and radio to discuss the multiple aspects of adoption. She has provided one-on-one support to women and hopeful adoptive parents working through adoption decisions.
Since 2002, she has been helping pregnant women and others in crisis to learn more about adoption. Heather also trains and speaks nationwide to pregnancy clinics to effectively meet the needs of women who want to explore adoption for their child. Today, she continues to address the concerns women have about adoption and supports the needs of women who choose adoption for their child.
As a published author of the book Called to Adoption, Featherston loves to see God’s hand at work every day as she helps children and families come together through adoption.