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Author Archive for Adoption Agency Florida

How to Prepare for Your First Meeting With the Adoptive Parents

Pregnant woman talking on the phone at a parkYou’ve put a lot of time and effort put into choosing the perfect family for your baby. You’ve read profile after profile until you finally found “the one.” It can be a big relief to have that part of your adoption planning behind you.
 
That is until you realize now it’s time to meet them. If the thought of meeting them has you feeling stressed, you’re not alone. The adoptive couple is very nervous too because they want to make a good first impression.
 
Your Adoption Coordinator at Lifetime will help you get ready for that first meeting or phone call with an adoptive couple. She can also join the phone call, too, to help you begin the conversation and move it along.
 

Here are three helpful tips that’ll have you feeling more prepared for your first meeting with the adoptive couple:

Be Natural

Since you’ll need to create a connection with your baby’s potential adoptive parents, just be yourself. They’re just as nervous as you. The adoptive couple isn’t there to judge you, they want to get to know you and to show you that they’re dependable.
 
The more calm and open-minded you can be, the better. This will set a good tone as you get to know each other. You’re seeking a genuine connection because this will be a lifelong relationship.
 

Choose a Neutral Location

Try to meet in a neutral setting if possible, one where you’ll feel comfortable. You might choose to meet in a spot such as your favorite restaurant or shop. We recommend that you don’t meet up in the adoptive couple’s home or your home because it can create pressure. If you don’t live close enough to the adoptive couple to meet, we recommend talking on the phone for your first meeting.
 
If it’s hard to break the ice or the conversation goes off course, a public setting will give you more to talk about. Small talk can help make everyone comfortable and lead to a more meaningful discussion.
 

Ask Questions

You’re in charge of this meeting, so feel free to ask as many questions as you want. After looking at their profile, you can try to get a better feel for who they are and what they have to offer. Use the information in their profile to dig a little deeper. When you’re getting ready for the meeting, we recommend writing down the questions you’d like to ask. Then, you can add more questions as you think of them.
 
The most important thing to remember as you prepare for this first meeting is that it’s up to you. If you don’t feel comfortable with the adoptive couple, you don’t have to choose them. Adoption isn’t easy, and the hardest part can be making sure you’re choosing the right adoptive family for your baby. So, don’t stress, take your time, and remember that you are in control.
 

Questions about adoptive couples, or about adoption in general?

Call or text Lifetime Adoption Agency at 1-800-923-6784 anytime of the day or night!

Home Study 101: All You Need to Know

Adoptive couple being interviewed for their home studyAre you wondering what a home study is? Today, Lifetime Adoption Agency is giving you answers to the most frequently asked home study questions, so you can be fully prepared for it!
 

What exactly is a home study?

An adoption home study is a document that states you can become an adoptive parent. In it is a story of your current life: your family and marriage history, financial state, and health. The home study also includes personal references, your criminal record, a description of your home and neighborhood, and addresses any health concerns. It describes your family relationships, your thoughts on adoption, parenting beliefs, and addresses infertility issues if relevant. It concludes with the social worker’s recommendation that you’re approved to adopt. Sometimes it also designates how many children you may adopt, and of what ages.
 

Are we required to get a home study?

You’re legally required to complete a home study before you can adopt. This is true no matter if you’re adopting through an agency, facilitator, private lawyer, or seeking an international adoption. Prospective adoptive parents must get a home study regardless of their state.
 
If the idea of opening up your life to a social worker sounds nerve-wracking, know that you’re not alone. Many couples worry that they’ll be deemed ineligible to adopt. In our experience, though, it’s pretty rare for a home study to conclude with a negative recommendation.
 

How can I help my spouse get through the home study?

The home study can be a long and tiresome process, with all the documents to collect and return, and visits to schedule, and classes to take. Many adoptive parents say things like “This seems unfair because pregnant couples don’t have to go through all this” at some point during their home study process.
 
If you or your spouse is reluctant and feel like having their lives examined is too much to shoulder, try to shift your thought process around. Work on your home study in pieces, so that you don’t become too overwhelmed. And instead of seeing the home study as a burden, think of it as an opportunity to ask an expert everything you want to know about adoption. You’ll find your Social Worker will be a great asset for you before, during, and after you adopt.
 

Who will perform the home study?

Your home study needs to be written by a social worker licensed your state. Some states require that the social worker is attached to a licensed adoption agency. If you live in Florida, you have the opportunity to have a social worker connected to the Lifetime Adoption Agency complete your home study. You can learn more about Lifetime’s home study services here.
 
If your adoption agency is located in another state, we’ll provide home study recommendations in your state of residence. Lifetime Adoption Agency will only recommend reputable home study agencies with a solid background of experience.
 
Adoptive couple chatting in the kitchen

How much does the home study cost?

The cost depends on your state, the type of adoption you’re pursuing, and your agency. For example, if you’re seeking an international adoption, the home study may cost more. And sometimes there are additional costs when updating your home study at the one year mark, and when there are changes that need to be made. For example, if you move to a new home or if another person moves in with you, your home study would need to be updated.
 
Lifetime Adoption Agency provides home study services at a flat rate with no hidden costs. To get information about our full fee schedule, give us a call at
1-877-383-6847.
 

How long will it take?

Typically, the entire home study process takes around four to six weeks. How long it will take depends on how much time it takes for your background checks to get in, how quickly you submit the required paperwork and your availability for interviews and home visits. It’s Lifetime’s goal to complete your home study within 30 days of acquiring all of the required documents.
 

What is the social worker looking for?

A home study is intended to explore the kind of life you can offer a child. The social worker isn’t visiting to intimidate you; it’s fine if your home doesn’t pass a “white glove test.” They’re not assessing your housekeeping standards and will understand if there’s some clutter. In fact, people living in an Instagram-worthy house might have a hard time adjusting to the chaos of raising a child!
 
You don’t need to have a fully-decorated nursery, baby supplies, or toys yet or even have your home completely baby-proofed. The social worker is simply looking for signs that you’ll be practical, loving, and safe parents.
 

What about after we adopt?

After your child’s birth parents have signed paperwork consenting to the adoption and it becomes irrevocable, you will then apply for finalization. You’ll appear in court before a judge who will formally recognize you as a family. The judge will issue a new birth certificate which lists the two of you as the child’s parents. This court appearance is a simple and joyful ceremony.
 
Before they’ll approve the finalization, judges typically require a social worker to visit you at least once after the child is in your home. Some courts will accept an agency or independent social worker for this post-placement visit, but a few courts require the use of their own social worker. But the post-placement visit isn’t something to worry about; it’s more of a formality and not a test of your parenting skills.

Lifetime Adoption Agency provides affordable home study services in Florida. Learn more by calling us at 1-877-383-6847 or by submitting this short form:



Your Quick Guide to Finding the Best Adoption Agency in Florida

Adoptive parents Bobby and Chaun admire their daughterCreating a family can happen in many ways. If you’d like to build your family through adoption, it’s important to find the best adoption agency in Florida. Since there are a vast array of adoption agencies, it can be challenging to find one that will match what you desire.
 
With research and careful consideration, you’ll be in a better position to partner with the adoption professional who is the best fit for you. Keep reading to learn what you should consider when looking for the best adoption agency in Florida!
 

Interview Adoption Professionals

Schedule interviews with representatives from the different adoption agencies you’re considering. Since agencies might be located across the country, setting up a phone interview is best. Make sure to discuss important items like average match time, fees, the home study, and birth mother presentation. During the phone interview, you’ll also have the opportunity to ask them questions. Get ideas on possible questions you might ask here.
 

Consider Experience

Ask the representative that you speak with how many years that the agency has been in existence. How much experience do they have in the field of domestic adoption? To work closely with an experienced adoption agency, choose one that has been actively matching birth mothers and adoptive couples for a long time.
 

Ask About Adoption Fees

When you’re looking for the best adoption agency in Florida, consider the clarity of their fees. How up front is the adoption agency about their fees when you talk to them?
 
Make sure that you understand what all of their fees are before engaging with an adoption agency in your state. Before you pay anything, make sure that you know the purpose the adoption agency will serve in your adoption journey. For example, some agencies will charge match fees while others do not.
 

Speak to References

Ask your representative at the adoption agency to speak with references. Talking to couples who recently adopted through the agency will provide you with an idea of what to expect.
 
Find reviews online of the adoption agencies you’re looking into. Many review sites will have feedback from those who adopted through the agency. The Better Business Bureau’s website is a great place to start. You can see Lifetime’s BBB rating and read reviews here.
 
 

The better informed you are about adoption agencies, the easier it’ll become to choose one who will match your specific needs and concerns. With the proper research into adoption agencies in Florida, you can find one who is committed to your success!
 
Schedule your complimentary adoption consultation with Lifetime Adoption Agency today, by calling us at 1-877-383-6847!

Is Adoption What’s Best for My Baby?

Pregnant woman wonders, 'is adoption what's best for my baby?'Are you pregnant and considering adoption? You’re not alone; we’re here to help you. Lifetime Adoption Agency helps expectant mothers in Florida and across to the U.S. explore adoption in a supportive, safe, and personalized environment. We’re here to provide you with up-to-date adoption information and support.
 
Discovering that you’re pregnant unexpectedly can be a very emotional time. No matter where you live, we can connect you with a hopeful adoptive couple who wants to provide your child with a stable, loving home.
 

Why Do Women Choose Adoption?

Are you wondering “is adoption what’s best for my baby?” There are many reasons why a woman decides to make an adoption plan for her baby. Overall though, women choose adoption because they want the best for their baby. Here are a few common reasons why a pregnant woman or mother might choose adoption:
 

  • Not ready to become a parent right now
  • Not financially able to provide for a baby
  • Still in school
  • Doesn’t want to be a single parent
  • Desires the best for her child

How Will My Baby Benefit from Adoption?

If you’re not ready to become a parent, you can choose an adoptive family for your baby through our Florida adoption agency. Adoption can provide your baby with many things, such as:
 

  • Safe, stable, loving home life
  • Parents who are emotionally ready to care for a child
  • Loving grandparents and relatives
  • Financially stable parents
  • Opportunities for a happy, fulfilling life
  • Opportunity for a quality education

Women reads adoption profiles from hopeful parents

Getting Started with Adoption

After you have learned all about adoption and have decided to move forward, our adoption agency in Florida is here to help you create your adoption plan.
 
An “adoption plan” describes your wants and needs for the adoption process. It includes your preferences on the adoptive family you’re hoping for, the level of contact you’d like in the future, and your adoption hospital plan.
 

Choosing a Family

A big part of the adoption process is selecting the adoptive family for your baby. Lifetime’s hopeful adoptive couples have been pre-screened and are approved to adopt a baby in the U.S. Plus, they’re excited to provide a safe, stable, loving home for your baby.
 
After you select your favorite adoptive family, we encourage you to speak with them. During the phone call, you can ask them questions about their faith, family traditions, parenting style, family background, and more.
 

We’re Here to Support You

Lifetime’s Adoption Coordinators are available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. We’re happy to discuss your options, answer your questions, and help you make the decision that’s best for you and your baby.

Just call or text Lifetime at 1-800-923-6784 anytime, day or night.

“Our son is a gift, made of miracles and divine love!”

Anthony and Sara with their son ElijahLast year, adoptive couple Anthony and Sara were blessed to adopt a baby boy through Lifetime. In this family’s story, we hear from Sara about her life-long call to adoption, getting “the call” that a birth mother was interested in them, and their experience with becoming parents together through an open adoption.
 
Now a forever family, adoptive mom Sara shares their beautiful story in this special guest blog post!

 
On February 28, 2018, we got the call that would change our lives forever. For some reason, I didn’t have my phone on vibrate that day, and I heard the ringing from the next room as I was unloading the dishwasher. I set the plastic plate in my hand down on the counter and made my way to the desk where my phone was perched. Grass Valley, California was on the caller ID.
 
Newly-born Elijah“We have a birth mother who’s interested in you.”
 
Fast forward exactly four weeks. This time, the caller ID was flashing our birth mom’s name. Not the first time she had ever called, but this call was unscheduled, after 10 pm, and less than a week out from her due date.
 
“My water just broke.”
 
Fast forward about forty hours. We had just driven cross-country to a tiny town in upstate New York. There was another name, but it wasn’t on a caller ID, it was on a hospital crib. “That’s him. As soon as you sent her his name, she had us write it on the crib card.”
 
Fast forward nine months. Here we are. At the time that I’m writing this, it’s been nine months to the day since we left the hospital. As I sit here and reflect on this adoption journey that led us to the most beautiful and perfect baby boy I could have ever dreamed into existence, I realize that adopting our son has taught me some things – not the least of which is my fresh perspective of the gospel message.
 
Worth the adoption wait!I first felt the call to adopt as a very young teenager. It started with one of those controversial “Feed the Children” commercials. Then learning about the unwanted baby girls in China. Then hearing a missionary speak about the orphans they help care for in Uganda, and working with poverty-stricken American children on various missions trips throughout high school. And so on. Each experience was like kindling to my little spark, and God continued to breathe on it.
 
I wanted to adopt because there are so many children in the world who need parents. I wanted to adopt because I want women to choose adoption over abortion when faced with a choice between the two. I wanted to adopt because not everyone has the emotional make-up for it, but for some reason, God gave that to me. I wanted to adopt for reasons that can’t be articulated but only felt with the heart. I felt so strongly about adopting that it would have kept me from marrying someone who didn’t share that desire. So, God sent me a man who had been adopted himself and understood my heart for it. And the flame continued to grow. It was like “a fire, shut up in my bones (Jeremiah 20:9, NIV)”. I was weary of holding it in, and indeed, I could not.
 
On November 1, 2016, the first day of Adoption Awareness Month, Anthony and I officially announced our plans to begin an adoption process. Exactly two years later, to the day, we finalized Elijah’s adoption. It was a beautiful full circle moment, and the moments in between were wrought with God’s goodness.
 
Anthony and Sara's adoption profileWe had to postpone our home study for a while, due to an upcoming move for my husband’s job. So, once our application with Lifetime was approved, we set aside a handful of months to save some money and work on our digital and print profiles. We officially contracted with Lifetime in July 2017 and were home study-ready that October. Then, the real wait began.
 
It was daunting. Looking through page after page of the digital profiles for so many wonderful waiting families on Lifetime’s website made me feel overwhelmingly…small. How could we possibly stand out to someone in that ocean that was teeming with such life? But I kept reminding myself that God had called us to do this and that He would make the right thing stand out to the right birth mother at the right time.
 
Elijah as Max from Where the Wild Things AreAnd He did. Just four months after completing our home study, we were selected by an amazing young woman who had contacted Lifetime late in her pregnancy. She was initially drawn to the fact that Anthony and the birth father have the same college degree, and once she read the rest of our profile, according to her, “it just felt right.” After speaking with her, it felt right to us too.
 
We’ve been blessed with an incredible birth family for our son that we look forward to remaining connected with throughout the years. The coming together of our families is undoubtedly something to celebrate.
 
There are thousands of babies born in the world each day, and the vast majority of these births are insignificant to most of us. Certainly, we rejoice when pregnant women choose life. Certainly, we acknowledge that each life is special. But, we don’t necessarily take a particular interest in all of those lives.
 
Anthony, Elijah, and Sara todayAn example of such a life is the baby boy born in a tiny town in upstate New York at 8:22 am on March 29, 2018, to a woman none of our family and friends have ever met. But, the moment he took on our name, he became part of the family. Elijah has become such a source of excitement and joy in our family. He was automatically accepted and loved. Because he took on our name. That’s the gospel, and watching it play out in front of me these past months has been too beautiful for words.
 
Some people wonder if having an adopted baby could possibly feel the same as having a child that you helped create, but I can say with absolute certainty that we couldn’t love this precious little soul any more in this moment. He is made of dream dust and miracles and divine love, and he is better than we ever imagined. He is a gift. As he grows, we’ll tell him his story – about the God who created him, his birth parents, and the string of holy moments that brought us all together.
 
There are parts of Elijah’s tale I’ll never share publicly, out of respect for him and his birth mother’s privacy. Those sacred details are tucked away in my heart, convincing me even more that he was meant to walk this earth and meant to do it as part of our family. That the God who paid the ultimate price for him has set the stage for His great and marvelous plans for my son’s life to unfold.
 
I can’t wait to find out the rest of the story!
 

Lifetime would love to help you adopt a baby, too!
 
Start your open adoption journey today by completing Lifetime’s free application to adopt.

How to Create a Connection With the Family You Chose

Once you choose adoptive parents for your baby, you’ll move forward in what’s called an adoption “match.” Through modern adoption, you have options on how you’d like to communicate with them throughout your pregnancy.

You’ll be part of each other’s lives for many years to come, so we encourage you to get to know the adoptive parents you’ve picked. Doing so can make you feel positive and confident in your decision.

Today, Lifetime Adoption Agency is sharing 4 effective ways to connect with the adoptive couple:

Birth mother chats on the phone with adoptive family

By Talking on the Phone

We want your adoption match to be a cooperative (and conversational) journey between you and the adoptive parents. Talking with the adoptive couple on the phone allows you to create a two-way conversation where you can share your wishes. Not sure what to say when you only talk with the adoptive couple on the phone? You might share about your pregnancy, how involved you’d like to be in your child’s future, and what you want for your child as they grow up. Your Adoption Coordinator at Lifetime is here to help you during this process.

By Emailing or Texting Back & Forth

Are you intimidated at the thought of talking on the phone with the couple? You might try starting out by emailing or texting back and forth with them. Think of it like this: you’re getting to know a new friend, and you share one of the most important people in your lives in common.

By Seeing Them In Person

Lifetime recommends having a face-to-face meeting with the adoptive couple. Visiting with them will make all of you feel more comfortable and familiar with each other. Meeting up allows you to see that they care about you, not just your baby. Choose to meet in a casual, public location to start, so there’s no pressure. “I’m so glad I met up with my daughter Hailey’s adoptive parents before giving birth! It allowed me to feel much more comfortable with them once the time came to deliver her,” says one birth mother, Jessica.

Birth mother in the hospital

During Your Hospital Stay

In open adoptions, many adoptive families wish to be at the hospital when their baby is born. But it’s totally up to you whether or not they’re allowed in the delivery room. Some birth mothers decide to allow the adoptive mother to be present.

We recommend that you decide how your hospital stay will go down before you go into labor. Here a few things to think about for your hospital stay:

  • How much time do you want alone with your baby after he or she is born?
  • Would you like to have a family member or friend with you as support?
  • When it comes time to go home, would you like to leave before your child’s adoptive family, after, or at the same time?

Your Baby, Your Choices

You can decide how much contact you’d like to have with the adoptive couple before you give birth. If you’d like to have an open adoption with visits later on, try to take the time to get to know the adoptive family before your baby is born. Many birth mothers have shared with us that getting to know the adoptive couple made them feel more confident in their decision. It allowed them to realize that this was the right family for their baby.

Lifetime is always here for you to talk to about your baby, the process, any concerns you have, and so much more.

Just call or text us at 1-800-923-6784.

The Best of This Blog: Top 10 Posts from 2018

You CAN afford adoption with a LightStream adoption loan!With today being the final day of 2018, we thought that it’d be the perfect time to take a look back at the blog posts and topics our readers loved most this year.
 
Looking back on 2018, we covered a range of adoption topics here at Lifetime Adoption Agency Florida’s blog, ranging from how to handle your adoption hospital experience and how your loved ones can support your adoption, to twin adoptions and how to get an adoption loan. So, without further ado, here are our Top 10 blog posts of 2018. We hope you’ll enjoy seeing them again…or enjoy them for the first time!
 

#10: How to Afford Adoption with a LightStream Adoption Loan

In our #10 blog post, we shared about how a LightStream adoption loan can be used to finance any part of your adoption process. At Lifetime, we don’t want a lack of finances to stand in the way of you being able to adopt!
 
Let's end hurtful stereotypes about birth parents

#9: 5 Stereotypes About Birth Parents that Need to Be Stopped Now

There seems to be plenty of stereotypes about birth parents: that they’re addicted to drugs, that birth fathers don’t care, or that birth mothers are women who don’t want children. Actually, one thing birth parents have in common is the desire to provide their child with the best life they can. In our #9 blog post, we shared five of the most common stereotypes about birth parents, so that we might put an end to them!
 

#8: Get 6 Tips on How to Support Your Loved One’s Adoption

This blog post is for your friends and family, to help them better understand how adoption works today. If they want to participate in your adoption experience, the info in this blog post can help serve as a starting point for meaningful conversations about how your adoption will affect everyone.
 

#7: “I need someone to adopt my baby”

“I just found out I’m pregnant, and my boyfriend literally disappeared…I have no idea how I’m going to raise a baby. How do I adopt out my baby?” asks one woman who contacted us. Lifetime lays out the details that go into making an adoption plan, so your pregnancy and placement can be as simple as possible.
 
Learn about our adoption agency in Florida's available adoption opportunities!

#6: Adoption Opportunities at Our Adoption Agency in Florida

When you’re thinking about adoption to grow your family, it’s normal to wonder about the babies available for adoption. In the adoption world, you may hear terms like “adoption opportunities” and “adoption situations.” These are birth mothers seeking adoptive families for their baby. In our #6 post, we shared how to find out if our adoption agency would be a good fit for your family!
 

#5: Why Did They Adopt, But Not Us?

There are many sides to the adoption journey when you’re eagerly waiting to be chosen by a birth mother. Some adoptive couples struggle with feelings of jealousy, wondering, “Why did they adopt, but not us?” In this post, we helped to reveal the truth behind the adoption wait!
 
A birth mother kisses her baby

#4: What NOT To Do at the Hospital

Many adoptive families are blessed to get invited to the birth of their baby. We shared some general guidelines about the adoption hospital experience because there’s a big difference between adoptive parents that mean well and those who act entitled. Discover 4 things adoptive couples should avoid doing at the hospital!
 

#3: 3 Common Fears About Choosing Adoption for Your Baby

If you’re thinking about adoption for your baby, it’s totally normal to have some fears, especially at the beginning of the adoption journey. Here, Lifetime shared about three common fears that women have about choosing adoption, and how to address them.
 

#2: Is it Possible to Adopt Twins?

Many hopeful adoptive couples ask, “is it possible to adopt twins?” This year, Lifetime adoptive couple Keith and Thirza from Florida adopted newborn twin girls! In our second most popular blog post of 2018, Lifetime shared about their journey to adopting twins. If you’re in the middle of your adoption wait, hearing stories like Keith and Thirza’s will give you inspiration and hope!
 

#1: Financially Stable Adoptive Couple for My Baby

Lifetime works with hopeful adoptive parents of a variety of races and backgrounds from all across the US. Each adoptive couple has different occupations, educations, religions, and interests, so you have a variety of to choose from. Maybe you’re thinking, “I’d like to find a financially stable adoptive couple for my baby”. In our most popular blog post of 2018, we wrote about Dave and Meghann, an active, financially stable couple in Florida!

Can We Adopt if I’m Overweight?

Can we adopt if I’m overweight?Question: “My husband and I have just started to look into adopting, after trying IVF for four years. I’m heavy-set, and I’m worried that would prevent us from being chosen by a birth mother. Can we adopt if I’m overweight?”

Answer: The truth is, birth mothers choose adoptive parents because they can relate to them. They’re not basing their selection on looks, but rather due to factors like faith, location, family structure, hobbies, and traditions. Birth moms often look for families that share something in common with them. There are many birth moms out there that are similar to you and can visualize their baby in your family.

Adoption isn’t a beauty contest. It isn’t any kind of competition at all. Birth mothers aren’t looking for perfection. They’re looking for a family that will provide a loving home for their baby. If you’re overweight, it doesn’t make you any less appealing. It makes you more human, more relatable.

Rather than go on a drastic diet, it’s more important that you focus on your overall health and wellness. Being active and exercising regularly can improve your stamina. That’s something you’ll need when you’re parenting the baby you bring home. Choosing healthy food and seeing your doctor regularly is a good idea for any parent. Babies and children demand that you keep up with them every step of the way!

Lifetime believes that you are going to be wonderful, loving parents. There is a birth mother out there that will be the ideal match for you. When your adoption professional calls you with a match, it will be because you have unique qualities that will stand out to her.

4 Ways to Build a Quality Relationship With Your Child’s Adoptive Family

Learn about building a relationship With your child’s adoptive familyWhen you decide to make an open adoption plan, it doesn’t just mean having a relationship with your child. It also means having a relationship with your child’s adoptive family. And creating a bond with them can be a wonderful experience!
 
Today, we’re giving you 4 tips to help get you to begin the path towards a quality relationship with the adoptive family:
 

1. Get to Know Them

Getting to know your child’s adoptive parents before and after placement is important! So, ask them questions about things like their lives, jobs, church, vacations, and traditions. You could try chatting with them like you would to a friend.
 
“When I go to California to visit my daughter and her adoptive parents, I always update them on my life – school, dating, work, and stuff like that,” says Taylor, a birth mother. “I think that when we show interest in each other’s lives, it makes us all feel more comfortable.” Who knows, the adoptive couple may even become some of your closest friends!
 

2. Honor Boundaries

It’s crucial to respect their roles as parents, and yours as the birth mom. These roles are equally important but different. When you honor their boundaries and parenting decisions, the adoptive parents will feel respected and secure in their role. This security will make them feel more comfortable with you.
 

3. Notice Your Child’s Siblings

If your child has siblings, you’re important in their lives too. “My son’s brother is one of my favorite kids. When I visit, we all play together. He knows that I love him and his brother,” says Hailey, a birth mother. So if you get your child a gift, think about getting a gift for their brother or sister, as well. They need to know they are important to you too.
 

4. Don’t Worry

Adoptive parents are only humans, so they might act awkward and make mistakes. They might be worried about saying or doing the wrong thing, just like you. So try not to feel intimidated as you start your relationship. What’s helped some birth moms is to think of them like extended family members.
 
 
The bottom line is that any relationship requires work. We recommend that you find what works best for you, since every open adoption relationship is different. Your relationship with the adoptive couple will naturally change as time passes. It’s possible to have an incredible open adoption relationship if you put the child first and remember that adoption is about love!

8 Ways to Be Positive During the Adoption Wait

During the adoption wait a couple walks their dogAre you having a difficult time during the adoption wait? Maintaining a positive attitude makes even the most challenging times easier to experience. Being positive doesn’t mean pretending that you have a perfect life, but rather about seeing the good in life and shifting how you perceive this time.
 
Research has shown that positive thinking can lead to success. Being positive isn’t a switch that can be turned on: like any skill it requires practice. Maintaining a positive attitude is crucial if you want to adopt.
 

Here are 8 ways you can boost your positivity:

 

  1. Think good thoughts. Negative thoughts can happen when you’re waiting to be chosen by a birth mother. When you experience one, take a moment to catch yourself. Identify the problem or emotion you’re feeling, then counter it with a positive thought.
  2. Be grateful. Spend time each day reminding yourself of everything good in your life. Write them down or share them with a loved one. For accountability, you might try doing a “30 Day Gratitude Challenge” with your spouse.
  3. Smile! Research has shown that smiles are contagious. Smile at a stranger, a co-worker, or a friend. They’ll smile back, leaving you both feeling more positive.
  4. Stay active. Exercise makes you feel better physically and mentally. Several times a week go for a walk, work on a project around the house, hit the gym, or play your favorite sport.
  5. Set goals. Having a goal can make you feel more hopeful and confident and give you something to strive for. Make your goal realistic and specific, and use positive words when writing or talking about it. For example, you might set a goal to have your adoption video recorded and edited within two weeks or to submit your home study paperwork within a week.
  6. Keep good company. The people you spend time with have a direct impact on how you feel. Seek out people who believe in you and your adoption dream. Spend time with family members, friends, co-workers, or acquaintances who think positive and inspire and motivate you to achieve your goals.
  7. Do things you love. Make time in your day to do something that makes you happy. Listen to music, read a book, catch up with a friend, or step outside and enjoy nature.
  8. Write in a journal. Jot down all the positive things that happen to you each day. Your journal entries can be just a few words or sentences. Pick a day each month to read through your journal and relive your positive experiences.