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Archive for adoption readiness

How to Find Out If You’re Both Ready to Adopt

Communicate openly with your spouse to find if you're both ready to adoptYour decision to adopt a baby probably didn’t happen overnight. Most couples take weeks, months, or years to move from fertility treatments to adoption. It’s important that you make sure you’re ready to adopt before you start the adoption process.

Today, Lifetime shares three basic requirements you should meet before signing on with an adoption professional:

1. You’ve Moved on from Infertility

So that your adoption can be successful, the decision must be fully embraced by both of you.

People handle stressful situations and grieve differently. So, it’s common for one spouse to be ready to adopt and the other to be uncertain.

Allow your spouse fully grieve failed fertility treatments, and the dream of having a child biologically, so that they can move through the grief and loss process at their own pace. If one of you isn’t fully ready to move to adoption, it might lead to complications during the adoption process down the road. Neither of you should feel pressured into adopting just because the other one is ready.

We encourage you to see an infertility counselor or a marriage and family counselor if you’re struggling to move on from infertility.

2. You Have Similar Adoption Plans

Just as each of you should be ready to adopt, you should also be on the same page as to how you’re going to adopt. Consider if you want to:

  • Adopt a newborn or an older child.
  • Adopt domestically, internationally or through foster care.
  • Adopt a baby of a specific gender.
  • Adopt a baby of a particular ethnicity
  • Be in contact with the birth parents, and if so, how much.

Speaking with an Adoption Coordinator at Lifetime will help both of you gain a better understanding of all the elements in adoption. Listening to webinars will help you gain more information about all aspects of adoption. Visit AdoptionWebinar.com to get started. Seek input from adoptive families for their experience with the type of adoption you’re interested in.

3. You’re Financially Ready for Adoption

There will be various adoption costs you need to prepare for. Examples include medical, legal and travel expenses.

Begin by carefully researching all of your options. Balance those costs with your budget to decide if you’re financially ready to pursue adoption. If finances are a concern, look into adoption fundraising, grants, and loans.

When you’re deciding whether or not you are ready to adopt, it’s essential to communicate openly with your spouse. Talk about all aspects of adoption, financial security, adoption goals, and your feelings surrounding infertility.

If you’re both ready to adopt or if you have questions about moving on from infertility, call Lifetime Adoption Agency at
1-800-923-6784.

Are You Ready to Adopt? Ask Yourself These 10 Questions

are you ready to adopt? here are 10 questions to ask!Are you truly ready to adopt? Before you contact any adoption professionals, really think about what your deepest wishes are for your family and for the child you hope to adopt.

Honesty is important because it’s your adoption professional’s task to understand your motivations so that they can effectively help you from the start. Your professional will then narrow down the preferences and relevant adoption situations and help you plan your adoption.

How do you know if you’re really ready to adopt a baby?

Here are 10 simple questions to ask yourself:

1. Why do you want to adopt?

2. How serious are you about adoption right now?

3. What is your ideal adoption situation?

4. Does your spouse want to adopt too?

5. Have you thought about how becoming a parent will change your life and are you willing to accept this responsibility?

6. Are you financially, socially and emotionally ready to adopt?

7. Will you love a child who comes into your family through adoption as much as you would a biological child?

8. If your child’s birth mother asked for photos, letters, and updates, would you honor her request?

9. Do you think you’d be a good parent, and why? If the answer is “no,” are you open to seeking assistance?

10. Do you and your spouse have the patience and time that’s needed to care for a child?

Don’t be offended when an adoption professional asks you investigative questions about your reasons for seeking adoption. They’re not trying to be nosey; they’re trying to help you find the best situation with as little time and stress as possible.

Plenty of preparation needs to be done for an adoption to be a success, and thoroughly understanding your needs is a large part of that. So, let your adoption professional help you, and you’ll be on your way to creating the family you have been dreaming of for a lifetime!

Adoption Stress? The Top 10 Ways to Stay Calm

Deciding on adoption is a large step for anyone, but for many families dealing with the wait is the hardest part and causes adoption stress.  In the waiting phase of your adoption it is common to become anxious. You may experience sleepless nights, difficulty focusing at work, or just the constant feeling of “butterflies” in your stomach. All of these feelings are normal, and even expected. After all, in making an adoption plan, you are reaching for your dreams. You are investing your time, emotions, and finances, with the hope of soon becoming parents. You have taken a huge step toward growing your family, and you know that the decisions you are making now are going to change your life.

afpicking up litterBecoming proactive is one way you can help your adoption journey by easing the day-to-day anticipation and giving you some control over your time and feelings. It will help take all of those bundled up nerves, and transform them into positive actions that will get the word out to everyone around you, that you are seeking a child to adopt.

Adoption is about faith and timing, but it is also about doing what you can to make yourself an active participant in your own adoption journey.   In the beginning there are a lot of steps to complete, but after the documents are ready, the home study complete, and your profile has been finished, the waiting process begins.  Being proactive will not only help you feel better, but it will make the time pass, and perhaps make your adoption journey even more memorable.

Here are our top 10 tips for becoming proactive towards your adoption:

  1. Go shopping! Donate maternity clothes; we are constantly in need of nice maternity clothes for our birth mothers.
        Volunteer with Lifetime–Visit LifetimeFoundation.org to find out how you can help.
  2. Take a trip–While you are on vacation, take a selection of Lifetime Adoption materials and pass them out.  If you are interested in helping with outreach, please contact your coordinator for details.
  3. Help a friend–Giving the gift of time to someone in need can help ease the feeling of one’s own burden.
  4. Celebrate–Have a family get together and let them know how they can support your adoption plan.
  5. Tell your story–Begin a journal about this adoption process, your child will love to have your own words as a keepsake someday.
  6. Be Creative–Create special business-like cards to carry with you and pass around. Include your first names and Lifetime’s 1-800 number.
  7. Network–Keep a few copies of your profile in your car and at work. You never know who you’re going to meet.
  8. Keep in touch–Mention your adoption journey in your Christmas card, letter, or newsletter.
  9. Build support– Find other adoptive families to share your experiences with.  Learn about what your community has to offer.
    10. Take a class–Learn about baby care and child development.

It is our hope that this information and these tips will ease some of the tension you may be feeling as you wait to be matched with a birth mother. Remember, stressful or anxious feelings are normal as you travel down the adoption road. What you choose to do with these feelings is completely under your control. We believe the Lord has a special plan and timing in mind for each of our lives. We can do everything possible to set ourselves up for success, and after that, we must place our trust in Him!