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Archive for what is open adoption like?

4 Ways to Build a Quality Relationship With Your Child’s Adoptive Family

Learn about building a relationship With your child’s adoptive familyWhen you decide to make an open adoption plan, it doesn’t just mean having a relationship with your child. It also means having a relationship with your child’s adoptive family. And creating a bond with them can be a wonderful experience!
 
Today, we’re giving you 4 tips to help get you to begin the path towards a quality relationship with the adoptive family:
 

1. Get to Know Them

Getting to know your child’s adoptive parents before and after placement is important! So, ask them questions about things like their lives, jobs, church, vacations, and traditions. You could try chatting with them like you would to a friend.
 
“When I go to California to visit my daughter and her adoptive parents, I always update them on my life – school, dating, work, and stuff like that,” says Taylor, a birth mother. “I think that when we show interest in each other’s lives, it makes us all feel more comfortable.” Who knows, the adoptive couple may even become some of your closest friends!
 

2. Honor Boundaries

It’s crucial to respect their roles as parents, and yours as the birth mom. These roles are equally important but different. When you honor their boundaries and parenting decisions, the adoptive parents will feel respected and secure in their role. This security will make them feel more comfortable with you.
 

3. Notice Your Child’s Siblings

If your child has siblings, you’re important in their lives too. “My son’s brother is one of my favorite kids. When I visit, we all play together. He knows that I love him and his brother,” says Hailey, a birth mother. So if you get your child a gift, think about getting a gift for their brother or sister, as well. They need to know they are important to you too.
 

4. Don’t Worry

Adoptive parents are only humans, so they might act awkward and make mistakes. They might be worried about saying or doing the wrong thing, just like you. So try not to feel intimidated as you start your relationship. What’s helped some birth moms is to think of them like extended family members.
 
 
The bottom line is that any relationship requires work. We recommend that you find what works best for you, since every open adoption relationship is different. Your relationship with the adoptive couple will naturally change as time passes. It’s possible to have an incredible open adoption relationship if you put the child first and remember that adoption is about love!

Why is Open Adoption So Wonderful?

“Hi, my husband and I are hoping to adopt a baby after enduring several failed attempts to conceive. As I do research online, I’ve been seeing the term ‘open adoption’ a lot. But we are worried that the birth mother would just be dropping by our house unannounced all the time. Does this really happen? I guess I’m really asking, what makes open adoption so great?”
 

Peter and Helen were blessed by open adoption!

Lifetime adoptive couple Peter and Helen were
blessed by open adoption!

Great question! Often, when you’re new to adoption, the idea of an open adoption can seem daunting. Open adoption gives your child security as they grow and start to ask questions about their heritage and origins. If you have an open adoption relationship with your child’s birth mother, you’ll be better equipped to answer their questions. It will help you maintain and celebrate your child’s connections with all the important people in his or her life.
 
It also serves as a comfort to your child’s birth family, with the knowledge that they chose a family for their baby. They’re able to know and see their child grow up, through the emails, letters, videos, and photos that you send them. Some adoption relationships even include in-person visits once or twice a year. The birth family can have peace of mind in knowing that their child is happy and thriving, and enjoying the life they hoped and prayed for.
 
Open, modern adoption empowers you, the adoptive parents, as you raise your child. It equips you with knowledge about your child’s birth family and their family’s medical history. When you have your home study, your social worker will educate you on the many positive features of open adoption. You can also discuss which type of contact arrangement you’re most comfortable with. It’s important to be honest and open with your adoption professional about the type of relationship you envision with the birth family. Then, you’ll be able to build a relationship with your child’s birth mother that’s authentic and truthful!

Here are some recommended resources to check out:

7 of the Most Frequently-Asked Questions About Open Adoption

Adoptive Couple Jesse and Alicia’s Adoption Story

How to Build a Relationship With Your Baby’s Birth Mom

Adoption Webinar: An Adoptive Mom and Birth Mom’s Stories

Adoption Webinar: Questions Most Asked About Open Adoption

Start your adoption journey today, by filling out Lifetime Adoption Agency’s free online application!

“I’m So Thankful for Open Adoption!”

"I am so thankful for open adoption!" shares one birth motherToday, Lifetime Adoption Agency is sharing one birth mother’s story. While every open adoption is different, it can help to hear from others who have been where you are now. Here’s one birth mother’s experience with coming to adoption:

“I was 16 years old when I became pregnant. Even at such a young age, I knew that there would be no way I could make parenting work. I didn’t even have my driver’s license yet! My baby’s father, Matt, and I knew we couldn’t give our beautiful baby everything she needed or wanted. Adoption was a hard decision for us to make, but we have all been blessed abundantly. Today, I feel like we have one of the best situations in open adoption history.

Hailey was born at 6:02 p.m. after an exceptionally smooth labor. She was loved and visited by my family and friends as well as Matt’s. The adoptive parents we chose, Kirk and Gwen, arrived later that night. As soon as they took their first look at her, I knew this was right. It was the hardest thing we’ve ever done, but I know it was the right decision.

I will always have a deep love for Matt, Hailey, and the adoptive parents, Kirk and Gwen. We are all so happy and very close. We talk a few times a month and meet up twice a year. I am so thankful for open adoption. I thank God every day that He showed me this option because it eases me to know that Hailey will know I love her, and she’ll know me as a person—as her birth mother.”

You can learn about making an open adoption plan for your baby by calling
Lifetime at 1-800-923-6784.

Get the Inside Scoop on Modern Adoption

What is modern adoption?Modern adoption has changed so much from how adoptions used to go. In a modern adoption, you have the power to choose your baby’s adoptive parents, how much you’d like to stay in contact in the future, and how things go down in the hospital. “Modern adoption” is also called “open adoption.”
 
We’re showing you the inside scoop on what modern adoption looks like nowadays! Here are what women who made a modern adoption plan have to say about it!
 
For privacy, we’ve removed everyone’s names.
 
“I’m so grateful that with open adoption, I’m able to know how my baby is doing and see updates on her.”
 
“My son knows that I’m his birth mother (he calls me his “tummy mommy”). We visit once a year, and his adoptive parents share photos and videos of him on Instagram all the time so I can see him grow up! Once he gets older and starts asking about his birth mom and why I placed him, his parents will have that info to share with him.”
 
“Choosing modern adoption for my three-year-old daughter sure wasn’t easy. I did it because knew I couldn’t give her the life I wanted to. It helped that I could hand-pick her adoptive parents, and stay in touch. I wanted her to be with an active and outgoing couple who could keep up with her! Being able to put her through college was a must for me. Even though this was such a hard decision, I feel peace knowing she’s with the perfect couple, that I was able to pick out for her!”
 
“I took a long time picking out the adoptive parents for my baby boy. This was such a big decision, so I needed to be picky about it! At eight and a half months pregnant, I chose a couple who followed the same religion as me and had strong Christian values. It’s important to me that my son’s brought up with morals and values, so I was so relieved to find them!”
 
 

Would you like to talk with someone who’s made a modern adoption plan? To get connected with one of Lifetime’s peer counselors, just text or call us at 1-800-923-6784.
 
Our peer counselors have been where you’re at now, and are here for you!