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Archive for Unplanned Pregnancy

How to Create a Connection With the Family You Chose

Once you choose adoptive parents for your baby, you’ll move forward in what’s called an adoption “match.” Through modern adoption, you have options on how you’d like to communicate with them throughout your pregnancy.

You’ll be part of each other’s lives for many years to come, so we encourage you to get to know the adoptive parents you’ve picked. Doing so can make you feel positive and confident in your decision.

Today, Lifetime Adoption Agency is sharing 4 effective ways to connect with the adoptive couple:

Birth mother chats on the phone with adoptive family

By Talking on the Phone

We want your adoption match to be a cooperative (and conversational) journey between you and the adoptive parents. Talking with the adoptive couple on the phone allows you to create a two-way conversation where you can share your wishes. Not sure what to say when you only talk with the adoptive couple on the phone? You might share about your pregnancy, how involved you’d like to be in your child’s future, and what you want for your child as they grow up. Your Adoption Coordinator at Lifetime is here to help you during this process.

By Emailing or Texting Back & Forth

Are you intimidated at the thought of talking on the phone with the couple? You might try starting out by emailing or texting back and forth with them. Think of it like this: you’re getting to know a new friend, and you share one of the most important people in your lives in common.

By Seeing Them In Person

Lifetime recommends having a face-to-face meeting with the adoptive couple. Visiting with them will make all of you feel more comfortable and familiar with each other. Meeting up allows you to see that they care about you, not just your baby. Choose to meet in a casual, public location to start, so there’s no pressure. “I’m so glad I met up with my daughter Hailey’s adoptive parents before giving birth! It allowed me to feel much more comfortable with them once the time came to deliver her,” says one birth mother, Jessica.

Birth mother in the hospital

During Your Hospital Stay

In open adoptions, many adoptive families wish to be at the hospital when their baby is born. But it’s totally up to you whether or not they’re allowed in the delivery room. Some birth mothers decide to allow the adoptive mother to be present.

We recommend that you decide how your hospital stay will go down before you go into labor. Here a few things to think about for your hospital stay:

  • How much time do you want alone with your baby after he or she is born?
  • Would you like to have a family member or friend with you as support?
  • When it comes time to go home, would you like to leave before your child’s adoptive family, after, or at the same time?

Your Baby, Your Choices

You can decide how much contact you’d like to have with the adoptive couple before you give birth. If you’d like to have an open adoption with visits later on, try to take the time to get to know the adoptive family before your baby is born. Many birth mothers have shared with us that getting to know the adoptive couple made them feel more confident in their decision. It allowed them to realize that this was the right family for their baby.

Lifetime is always here for you to talk to about your baby, the process, any concerns you have, and so much more.

Just call or text us at 1-800-923-6784.

The Best of This Blog: Top 10 Posts from 2018

You CAN afford adoption with a LightStream adoption loan!With today being the final day of 2018, we thought that it’d be the perfect time to take a look back at the blog posts and topics our readers loved most this year.
 
Looking back on 2018, we covered a range of adoption topics here at Lifetime Adoption Agency Florida’s blog, ranging from how to handle your adoption hospital experience and how your loved ones can support your adoption, to twin adoptions and how to get an adoption loan. So, without further ado, here are our Top 10 blog posts of 2018. We hope you’ll enjoy seeing them again…or enjoy them for the first time!
 

#10: How to Afford Adoption with a LightStream Adoption Loan

In our #10 blog post, we shared about how a LightStream adoption loan can be used to finance any part of your adoption process. At Lifetime, we don’t want a lack of finances to stand in the way of you being able to adopt!
 
Let's end hurtful stereotypes about birth parents

#9: 5 Stereotypes About Birth Parents that Need to Be Stopped Now

There seems to be plenty of stereotypes about birth parents: that they’re addicted to drugs, that birth fathers don’t care, or that birth mothers are women who don’t want children. Actually, one thing birth parents have in common is the desire to provide their child with the best life they can. In our #9 blog post, we shared five of the most common stereotypes about birth parents, so that we might put an end to them!
 

#8: Get 6 Tips on How to Support Your Loved One’s Adoption

This blog post is for your friends and family, to help them better understand how adoption works today. If they want to participate in your adoption experience, the info in this blog post can help serve as a starting point for meaningful conversations about how your adoption will affect everyone.
 

#7: “I need someone to adopt my baby”

“I just found out I’m pregnant, and my boyfriend literally disappeared…I have no idea how I’m going to raise a baby. How do I adopt out my baby?” asks one woman who contacted us. Lifetime lays out the details that go into making an adoption plan, so your pregnancy and placement can be as simple as possible.
 
Learn about our adoption agency in Florida's available adoption opportunities!

#6: Adoption Opportunities at Our Adoption Agency in Florida

When you’re thinking about adoption to grow your family, it’s normal to wonder about the babies available for adoption. In the adoption world, you may hear terms like “adoption opportunities” and “adoption situations.” These are birth mothers seeking adoptive families for their baby. In our #6 post, we shared how to find out if our adoption agency would be a good fit for your family!
 

#5: Why Did They Adopt, But Not Us?

There are many sides to the adoption journey when you’re eagerly waiting to be chosen by a birth mother. Some adoptive couples struggle with feelings of jealousy, wondering, “Why did they adopt, but not us?” In this post, we helped to reveal the truth behind the adoption wait!
 
A birth mother kisses her baby

#4: What NOT To Do at the Hospital

Many adoptive families are blessed to get invited to the birth of their baby. We shared some general guidelines about the adoption hospital experience because there’s a big difference between adoptive parents that mean well and those who act entitled. Discover 4 things adoptive couples should avoid doing at the hospital!
 

#3: 3 Common Fears About Choosing Adoption for Your Baby

If you’re thinking about adoption for your baby, it’s totally normal to have some fears, especially at the beginning of the adoption journey. Here, Lifetime shared about three common fears that women have about choosing adoption, and how to address them.
 

#2: Is it Possible to Adopt Twins?

Many hopeful adoptive couples ask, “is it possible to adopt twins?” This year, Lifetime adoptive couple Keith and Thirza from Florida adopted newborn twin girls! In our second most popular blog post of 2018, Lifetime shared about their journey to adopting twins. If you’re in the middle of your adoption wait, hearing stories like Keith and Thirza’s will give you inspiration and hope!
 

#1: Financially Stable Adoptive Couple for My Baby

Lifetime works with hopeful adoptive parents of a variety of races and backgrounds from all across the US. Each adoptive couple has different occupations, educations, religions, and interests, so you have a variety of to choose from. Maybe you’re thinking, “I’d like to find a financially stable adoptive couple for my baby”. In our most popular blog post of 2018, we wrote about Dave and Meghann, an active, financially stable couple in Florida!

“I’m So Thankful for Open Adoption!”

"I am so thankful for open adoption!" shares one birth motherToday, Lifetime Adoption Agency is sharing one birth mother’s story. While every open adoption is different, it can help to hear from others who have been where you are now. Here’s one birth mother’s experience with coming to adoption:

“I was 16 years old when I became pregnant. Even at such a young age, I knew that there would be no way I could make parenting work. I didn’t even have my driver’s license yet! My baby’s father, Matt, and I knew we couldn’t give our beautiful baby everything she needed or wanted. Adoption was a hard decision for us to make, but we have all been blessed abundantly. Today, I feel like we have one of the best situations in open adoption history.

Hailey was born at 6:02 p.m. after an exceptionally smooth labor. She was loved and visited by my family and friends as well as Matt’s. The adoptive parents we chose, Kirk and Gwen, arrived later that night. As soon as they took their first look at her, I knew this was right. It was the hardest thing we’ve ever done, but I know it was the right decision.

I will always have a deep love for Matt, Hailey, and the adoptive parents, Kirk and Gwen. We are all so happy and very close. We talk a few times a month and meet up twice a year. I am so thankful for open adoption. I thank God every day that He showed me this option because it eases me to know that Hailey will know I love her, and she’ll know me as a person—as her birth mother.”

You can learn about making an open adoption plan for your baby by calling
Lifetime at 1-800-923-6784.

“I’m a Birth Father…Do I Have a Say in Adoption?”

what are my rights as a birth father?Has your girlfriend just told you she’s pregnant and going to place your baby for adoption? Or maybe it’s your wife who wants to do adoption, after years of struggling to make ends meet. In any case, you might be wondering, “does the father have a say in adoption?”

The answer is definitely “yes”! Here at Lifetime, we encourage birth fathers to be a part of the adoption planning. The term “birth father” refers to a man whose baby or child is placed with an adoptive family. Today, we’re giving you info about your choices and rights in modern adoption!

We believe that it’s just as important for you to know your adoption rights as it is for her. Right now, your family might be pressuring you to “step up” and be a man, to fight the adoption.

Adoption Isn’t Giving Up

Lifetime has heard many men say they feel like adoption is a “cop-out.” They don’t want to admit any weakness, including the fact that they might not be able to provide for a child. These men say that they feel like adoption isn’t the best choice because it means they’re “giving up.”

People choose adoption not because they don’t love (or want) their child. Adoption is the choice they make because they love their child so much that they want to give him or her a bright future, something that they might not be able to provide at that point in their lives.

Adoption Isn’t Saying Goodbye

With open adoption, you’re able to remain a part of your child’s life and see them growing up. So, adoption definitely isn’t goodbye forever! Birth fathers are able to feel pride in the decision, and see the blessing that adoption is for their child. “Adoption was the best choice we could have made for our child…we were able to give our daughter a mom and a dad who are excited to provide her with everything she needs and wants,” says one birth father. By playing an active role in the adoption plan, many birth fathers have shared that they are glad they put their child’s needs above theirs.

Learning Your Rights

As a birth father, you have the same rights that the birth mother does. You can fully participate in the adoption at whatever level you want to. Just like your baby’s mother can, you’re able to interview adoptive couples and ask them questions. What kinds of questions?
You could ask about their parenting style, jobs, family structure, lifestyle, and even about their hobbies. You’re able to interview several adoptive families and meet with them, too.

Birth fathers have rights, too. Each state has their own laws and requirements about your responsibilities and rights. So it’s best to speak with an attorney who specializes in adoption law if you have questions.

Lifetime recognizes that the adoption decision can be as difficult for you as it is for your baby’s birth mother.

To talk with an Adoption Coordinator about an adoption plan for your child, just call Lifetime at 1-800-923-6784.

“I’m SO GRATEFUL to have found such an AMAZING adoption agency!”

Lifetime birth mother posts on Facebook Lifetime provides continued pregnancy and adoption support to birth moms from all over. This includes birth mothers right here in Florida, like Terri. Last year, she posted on Facebook about how much she loves her baby’s adoptive mom. And then recently, Terri posted on Facebook:

“I want to take a minute to be thankful for something a lot of people may never understand. I am SO GRATEFUL to have found such an AMAZING adoption agency!!

Lifetime Adoptions, and their case workers ESPECIALLY Tiffany, are the most kind, and caring people you could ever meet !! And I can NEVER thank them enough for finding and bringing to me, my son’s AMAZING adoptive parents Cassie and Matt !!! I am FOREVER thankful !!”

Terri posted on Facebook about Lifetime Adoption Agency Florida

Adoption is a loving decision that pregnant women and moms make with their child’s best interests in mind. Every woman has her own unique circumstances, goals, and hopes for her child’s life.

Here at Lifetime, we’ll never pressure you to parent OR to make an adoption plan for your baby. Instead, we encourage you to plan ahead for your child’s future, and your own.

If you’re considering adoption, we want you to know that you have a say in each part of the adoption process. Some of the many options you have with open adoption include:

  • Selecting your baby’s adoptive parents from hundreds of couples of all races, who are ready and excited to adopt.
  • Getting to know the family you chose before the adoption happens.
  • Planning how things go at the hospital when you give birth.
  • Personalizing the amount of contact you have with the adoptive family and your child in the future.
  • Receiving free licensed third-party counseling, expert legal assistance, and support both before and after the adoption.

We want you to know that adoption answers and help are just a text or phone call away, at 1-800-923-6784.

How to Talk About Adoption With Your Baby’s Father

texting at nightLearning that you’re pregnant unexpectedly sure brings up a lot of emotions. You might be worried about how to tell your boyfriend you’re pregnant and thinking about adoption. You might be thinking about keeping your pregnancy a secret to him then keeping him in the dark about the adoption process. Today, we’re going to talk about why that’s not such a great idea.

When you’re making an adoption plan, it’s important to be honest with your baby’s father. But know that if you’re not comfortable with talking to him, Lifetime can help.

Some women worry that they won’t be able to choose adoption because of their baby’s father. Know that Lifetime can help you out, whatever your situation is. That includes if:

  • You aren’t sure who your baby’s father is
  • He’s in jail
  • You don’t know where he lives or what his name is
  • He isn’t open to the adoption
  • You’re married, but not to the baby’s father

You might be wondering how in the world you’ll tell him you’re pregnant. It seems like life would be easier if you kept your adoption plans a secret from him. Well, here’s 4 reasons why it’s a good idea to be honest with your baby’s father:

1. Your Child Will Know Their Birth Father

As they grow up, your child will wonder about his or her birth father. By identifying him now, you’re providing your child with this vital info they’ll be asking for in the future.

2. Gives Your Child a Medical History
The more background info that’s known for your child’s medical history, the better. They’ll need this medical history info throughout their life; just think of how often you’re asked for yours at the doctor’s office! By being honest with him about your adoption plans, he’s then able to share his family’s medical history too, allowing your child to have a completed medical history.

3. Allows the Adoption to Happen
We know it’s not easy to tell him you’re pregnant and are making an adoption plan. But it’s way better than him learning he’s a dad years down the road! So, make sure to be honest with him now.

If you need help telling him you’re pregnant, Lifetime can help you find the words. Or, you can rely on us to inform him of your adoption plans.

Some birth mothers work with their baby’s father at picking the adoptive family. If you’d like to learn more about working with him throughout the adoption planning process, check out: “Adoption Truth: Guys Can Be Involved, Too.”

4. Helps the Adoption Go Smoothly
By revealing his identity, his rights are recognized during the adoption. This helps your adoption plan happen more easily. If you’d like to learn about his rights, here’s a quick link: Birth Fathers’ Adoption Legal Rights.

7 Things to Know About Your Unplanned Pregnancy

positive pregnancy test? here's what you should know!Lots of us have been there: standing in line to pay for a pregnancy test. It doesn’t matter if the test is for a friend or a “friend,” it’s as if you can feel the panic in the air.

If you’ve just gotten a positive pregnancy test, you might be freaking out. Nothing in makes sense, and it’s like your stomach has fallen to your feet. You wake up the next few mornings with anxiety, realizing it wasn’t all a dream and you’re actually pregnant.

Here are 7 things to be aware of about your unplanned pregnancy:

1. It’s fine to be scared
The fact that you’re freaking out makes you human. It doesn’t matter if you’re 17, 27, or 37: an unplanned pregnancy is a shock. It’s also OK to be angry or sad. You might be sad for a version of your life that you’ll have to let go of. Know that no matter how you’re feeling, it’s okay. If you don’t allow yourself to feel these emotions now, they’ll eat you alive.

2. Nobody can tell you what to do
Lots of people might give you their opinions. But nobody can tell you how your decision will affect your life. No matter how many Google searches you do, it won’t predict your future. So try to cut through all the noise in your ears. Your heart knows which choice is best for you.

3. You’re not totally alone
Facing an unplanned pregnancy might make you feel alone, but that’s far from the truth. Nearly 50% of women in the U.S. will face an unplanned pregnancy by the time they’re 45 (source: the Guttmacher Institute). The reality is that there are tons of women who know how you feel because they’ve been there themselves.

4. Avoid using fear or anger to make a decision
While the emotions you’re feeling are real and OK, they might be getting in the way of your thinking. Once you’re calm, you’ll be best able to make a decision. Then, consider if the reason for your choice is love or fear.

5. Get a support system
This can be difficult to find, especially if you’re thinking about adoption. It will be an important part of moving forward. You might find a support system online if no one in your life has your back.

Lifetime has peer counselors that you can talk with. They’re women who’ve been where you are now and want to hear you out and give advice if you’re open to it. Just call us at 1-800-923-6784 if you’d like to talk or text with a birth mom.

6. You’re more than a statistic
Feeling ashamed, embarrassed, or even disappointed in yourself is normal. But we want you to know that you’re so much more than a just a statistic. An unplanned pregnancy doesn’t have to define you; it doesn’t make you stupid or irresponsible.

7. You can choose adoption anytime
You don’t have to make an adoption plan while you’re pregnant. Lifetime helps lots of women with adoption after their baby’s been born and when their child is a few years old. We’re not here to pressure you or rush you into a decision. Call Lifetime whenever you’re ready to learn more: 1-800-923-6784.

Modern Adoption vs. Safe Haven: How Do They Compare?

modern adoption or safe haven?Wondering what exactly is a “safe haven”? Safe Haven laws allow a parent give up their unwanted baby privately. With these laws, moms can drop their baby off at a safe haven location, as long as their baby hasn’t been abused. Safe Haven laws began so that babies wouldn’t be left in places like dumpsters or public toilets.

Regardless of what their life situation is like, a woman can make a private open adoption plan just as quickly and easily as she can drop off her baby at a safe haven. Just take a look at the benefits of creating an adoption plan instead of dropping off your baby at a Safe Haven:

  • Your baby won’t go into the crowded foster care system; they’ll be able to go home with a stable, loving adoptive couple of your choosing right away.
  • You’ll know what happened to your child (even if you end up choosing a closed adoption after placement.)
  • You can get access to no-cost counseling and support.
  • Adoption is free to choose, and it comes with no legal risks to you.
  • You can remain confidential with your situation
  • You’ll never be judged for making an adoption plan.
  • Adoption gives both you and your baby more stability and security in the long run.
  • If you choose open adoption, you’re able to stay in touch with your child and the adoptive family.

You can make an adoption plan for your baby at any time, even after they’re born. It’s never too late to choose adoption! Every child is wanted and adopt-able at Lifetime. To learn more about the advantages of modern adoption, just reach out to us.

Lifetime’s hotline is staffed 24 hours every day! You can call or send a text to 1-800-923-6784.

Telling People You’re Pregnant

The shock has started to wear off. You’ve taken a minute (or two or even a week!) to think about what your pregnancy will mean. Maybe you’ve decided against abortion, and are stressed out about becoming a mom.

how to tell people about an unplanned pregnancyTons of questions pop up. Who can you tell? Who can help you through the next few months of your pregnancy? What will people say? Will they be happy for you or disappointed in you?

Some women feel relieved once they tell people they’re pregnant. Once you tell people about your pregnancy, you’ll get a wide variety of reactions. Everyone will probably have an opinion to share—whether it’s helpful or not.

The bottom line this: it’s your body, your baby, and your pregnancy. Yours to talk about, yours to experience, and yours to decide about. And after your pregnancy, the baby is yours. So the opinion that counts the most is your own.

This doesn’t mean you have to go through it all alone. Tell people who are going to have your back, even when they don’t agree with you. Tell those who love you, know you, and know your situation. Don’t be scared to share how you’re feeling. If you have someone there by your side, things might not seem as scary or overwhelming.

Would you like to talk about your pregnancy and how you feel about having a baby, but can’t find the words to tell your family or friends? Lifetime is familiar with unplanned pregnancies and the decisions that come with them. Reach out to our caring and compassionate coordinators by texting or calling us at 1-800-923-6784. We’re here to listen, not judge, and can help you find the words you need to tell your parents and your baby’s father. You’re not alone!

Is a Last-Minute Adoption Possible?

learn about your rights and choices in making a last-minute adoption planIf you know that adoption is the best choice for both you and your baby, then having an adoption plan in place before you go into labor is a good idea. But what if you don’t decide until really late in your pregnancy that adoption is best? Or what if you go into labor and then decide on adoption?

With Lifetime, you’re able to make an adoption plan at any time during your pregnancy. We’ve even had women call us from the hospital, in the early stages of labor! Adoption is always a possibility.

When you make a last-minute adoption plan, you still have the same rights and choices as you would if you’d done adoption earlier on. With modern open adoption, you choose the adoptive parents for your baby. An open adoption allows you to talk to and meet the adoptive parents. And, you’re able to stay in touch with the adoptive couple and your child in the future. Birth mothers we’ve worked with stay in contact in a wide variety of ways: through emails, photos, social media updates, phone calls, Skype, and in-person visits.

If you need help money-wise, the adoptive parents you choose can usually pay for your prenatal visits, hospital stay, and living expenses. You have the power to decide how things go at the hospital. What do we mean by this? Your hospital preferences can include stuff like:

  • Who you’re OK with being at the hospital when you deliver
  • Whether you want your baby in the room with you, or if you’d like him or her to stay in the nursery with the adoptive parents
  • If you want to stay in another area of the hospital after you deliver, away from Labor & Delivery
  • How much you want the adoptive parents to participate in the birth (for example, some women are fine with the adoptive mom being in Labor & Delivery. Or maybe you want them to stay in the waiting room)
  • If you’ll want the newborn pictures that are taken of your baby

No matter how early or late you are into your pregnancy, adoption is always a choice you can make. You can even choose adoption after your baby is born.

Lifetime Adoption Agency Florida is here to help you as you go through this decision. Call us whenever you have questions or are ready to learn more: 1-800-923-6784.