Has your girlfriend just told you she’s pregnant and going to place your baby for adoption? Or maybe it’s your wife who wants to do adoption, after years of struggling to make ends meet. In any case, you might be wondering, “does the father have a say in adoption?”
The answer is definitely “yes”! Here at Lifetime, we encourage birth fathers to be a part of the adoption planning. The term “birth father” refers to a man whose baby or child is placed with an adoptive family. Today, we’re giving you info about your choices and rights in modern adoption!
We believe that it’s just as important for you to know your adoption rights as it is for her. Right now, your family might be pressuring you to “step up” and be a man, to fight the adoption.
Adoption Isn’t Giving Up
Lifetime has heard many men say they feel like adoption is a “cop-out.” They don’t want to admit any weakness, including the fact that they might not be able to provide for a child. These men say that they feel like adoption isn’t the best choice because it means they’re “giving up.”
People choose adoption not because they don’t love (or want) their child. Adoption is the choice they make because they love their child so much that they want to give him or her a bright future, something that they might not be able to provide at that point in their lives.
Adoption Isn’t Saying Goodbye
With open adoption, you’re able to remain a part of your child’s life and see them growing up. So, adoption definitely isn’t goodbye forever! Birth fathers are able to feel pride in the decision, and see the blessing that adoption is for their child. “Adoption was the best choice we could have made for our child…we were able to give our daughter a mom and a dad who are excited to provide her with everything she needs and wants,” says one birth father. By playing an active role in the adoption plan, many birth fathers have shared that they are glad they put their child’s needs above theirs.
Learning Your Rights
As a birth father, you have the same rights that the birth mother does. You can fully participate in the adoption at whatever level you want to. Just like your baby’s mother can, you’re able to interview adoptive couples and ask them questions. What kinds of questions?
You could ask about their parenting style, jobs, family structure, lifestyle, and even about their hobbies. You’re able to interview several adoptive families and meet with them, too.
Birth fathers have rights, too. Each state has their own laws and requirements about your responsibilities and rights. So it’s best to speak with an attorney who specializes in adoption law if you have questions.