You have lots of choices with open adoption, like being able to select the adoptive parents for your baby. Open adoption also means that you choose how often you’d like to stay in contact with them after the adoption happens, and how you’d like to receive updates as your child grows up.
If you’re thinking about adoption, you might be thinking something like, “How can I choose how much future contact is best?” or “What if I say I want contact but then, later on, I decide I don’t?”
Today, we’re sharing more info about your options with future contact in open adoption!
Lifetime has helped a few birth mothers who decided on a closed adoption. Some opted for a semi-open adoption, and receive letters and pictures of their child. Many birth mothers want an open adoption and in addition to getting letters, pictures, emails, and talking to the family on the phone, they actually meet up once or twice a year.
It’s totally up to you how much future contact your adoption plan includes. Just tell your Adoption Coordinator at Lifetime what you’re hoping for, and she’ll send you adoption profiles that match what you’d like. Some women decide to have lots of contact and others would rather get updates through letters and pictures only. Others just want to see the adoptive family at the hospital to feel secure their decision. Seeing the adoptive couple with their baby allows them to rest in the knowledge that their baby will grow up loved and well provided for.
What If I Want Less (or More) Contact Later On?
Lifetime has helped many women who thought they wanted to stay in contact after placement, but then felt differently once the adoption happened. When this happens, Lifetime will help you leave your options open. These birth mothers tell us something like, “I just decided I don’t need any more contact. Since I met the family, I feel very comfortable with them. I feel like I need to move on with my life and I don’t need to have any contact.”
We’ve seen the reverse happen too. A birth mother who didn’t think she’d want to keep in touch afterward may think, “I’m wondering how my baby is doing and about the family that I helped create” a year or so down the road. An open adoption could go in that direction. Think about the amount of contact changing over the years, and talk it over with the adoptive family you chose. If you stay in good communication with the adoptive family during your match, you’ll build a relationship with them where you feel OK asking for more contact.
Lifetime understands that your needs and desire for an open adoption might evolve. We’ll remain available to you in the future if you decide that you might more contact. You can let us know, and we will arrange that for you.
Resources to Help With Your Future Contact Choices
We want you to feel confident and secure with the amount of contact you have after your baby’s adoption happens. So, we have many resources here to help you with your choices in future contact. You can speak with another woman who has chosen adoption, also known as peer support. They’re able to tell you what they’ve experienced with contact. Peer support is a really valuable asset to take advantage of. Lifetime also has phone counseling with a licensed counselor available, at no charge to you.
Lifetime is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Whenever you have a question or a concern you need to talk about, we’re here to help you!
Just call Lifetime at 1-800-923-6784.
Just call Lifetime at 1-800-923-6784.
As the Vice President (VP) of Lifetime Adoption, Heather Featherston holds an MBA and is passionate about working with those facing adoption, pregnancy, and parenting issues. Heather has conducted training for birth parent advocates, spoken to professional groups, and has appeared on television and radio to discuss the multiple aspects of adoption. She has provided one-on-one support to women and hopeful adoptive parents working through adoption decisions.
Since 2002, she has been helping pregnant women and others in crisis to learn more about adoption. Heather also trains and speaks nationwide to pregnancy clinics to effectively meet the needs of women who want to explore adoption for their child. Today, she continues to address the concerns women have about adoption and supports the needs of women who choose adoption for their child.
As a published author of the book Called to Adoption, Featherston loves to see God’s hand at work every day as she helps children and families come together through adoption.