Each birth mother has her own criteria for finding the perfect adoptive parents for her baby. As you envision the perfect life for your child, you might be thinking of the type of home you want them to grow up in, how many siblings you would like them to have, what kind of school you hope they can go to, and so much more.
Even though these are important qualities to look for in adoptive parents, they aren’t the only ones you should focus on. Looking for the perfect adoptive parents can be overwhelming. How will you know when you’ve found the right couple?
While it might seem like a difficult task now, we know that you’ll find a family that matches your criteria for adoption, no matter how long it takes. There are few key questions you’ll want to ask to make your search easier:
1. Do They Want to Get to Know the Real You?
Once you’ve found an adoptive couple that matches all of your criteria, the next step in the adoption process is to begin getting to know them. During your conversations, here are a few things that you should watch for:
- Do they look forward to your messages and phone calls?
- Do they seem excited and interested in what you have to say?
- Are they interested in learning about your hobbies, passions, and dreams?
Pay attention to these signs that they’re really excited about getting to know you as a person. During your first phone call, the adoptive couple should show interest in you; this isn’t all about your baby.
If you get a feeling in your gut that something isn’t quite right, don’t brush it aside. That voice in your head is there for a reason. If it seems like they’re only acting friendly with you because they’re hoping you’ll place with them, be cautious. If this is true, it may be a sign that they won’t be as open to remaining in contact with you once the adoption is over. They should be drawn to you as much as you are to them. Remember, you don’t have to pick the first family you talk to.
2. Have They Done Their Research?
Adopting a baby is more complicated than most people expect. So, the right adoptive family will be able to show they’ve done plenty of research.
The adoptive couple should have prepared themselves to help their child through any difficulties they may face. And they should have an idea of what you are going through and how hard a decision like this is to make. While the adoptive couple might not know everything at the start, they should have a pretty good foundation for the start of your relationship.
3. Have They Been Screened By a Professional?
If you’re going to work with an agency on your adoption plan, you should find one that thoroughly screens their prospective adoptive families before they can adopt (like Lifetime Adoption does). By working with an agency who screens their adoptive couples, you can rest easy in the knowledge that your child will be placed into a safe, loving home with a family that will cherish them. You don’t want to take any chances with so much at stake.
Also, it would be best if you looked for an adoptive couple who has been screened before starting the adoption process. This ensures that you’ll be placing your child into a safe and loving home. Hopeful adoptive parents that have been thoroughly screened often have:
- Completed parenting or training classes
- Completed the adoption home study
- Shown their dedication to adoption
- Are open and excited for contact with you
How Will I Know I’ve Found the Perfect Family?
When you know, you just know. The right adoptive parents for your baby will be everything you’re looking for and so much more. Remember to keep your standards high during this process and to trust your instincts. No matter how long it takes, we know that you’ll find the adoptive parents of your dreams.
With so many qualities to look for in adoptive parents, finding the right one doesn’t always happen in a day. So it’s important to take your time. You’ll probably be looking through many adoptive family profiles until you find the one that’s just right.
If you have any questions along the way, remember that Lifetime’s trained and dedicated adoption professionals can be reached 24 hours a day, 7 days a week by texting or calling 1-800-923-6784.
As the Chief Operating Officer (COO) of Lifetime Adoption, Heather Featherston holds an MBA and is passionate about working with those facing adoption, pregnancy, and parenting issues. Heather has conducted training for birth parent advocates, spoken to professional groups, and has appeared on television and radio to discuss the multiple aspects of adoption. She has provided one-on-one support to women and hopeful adoptive parents working through adoption decisions.
Since 2002, she has been helping pregnant women and others in crisis to learn more about adoption. Heather also trains and speaks nationwide to pregnancy clinics to effectively meet the needs of women who want to explore adoption for their child. Today, she continues to address the concerns women have about adoption and supports the needs of women who choose adoption for their child.
As a published author of the book Called to Adoption, Featherston loves to see God’s hand at work every day as she helps children and families come together through adoption.